I am sick a tired of random people knocing on my door for donations.

This last one was from a sperm bank and I gave her a mouthful......

Teacher to Gr 3's : Has anyone of you ever saved anyone's life?

Little Johnny : Yes! I have ! My little nephew's...

Teacher : Oww....that's so brave and heroic of you my brave boy. How did you do that????

Little Johnny : I hid my sister's birth control pills!!!!

A recent finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one testicle.....

A Guy urgently needed a few days off work,
But, he knew the Boss would not allow him to leave.
he thought that maybe if he acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell him to take a few days off.
So, he hung upside-down on the ceiling &
Made funny noises.
His co-worker (who's blonde)! asked him what he was doing.
He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb,
So, that the Boss might think he was "Crazy" & give him a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What are you doing?"
He told him he was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out."
Go home & recuperate for a couple of days."
He jumped down & walked out of the office...
When his co-worker (the blonde) followed him,
The Boss asked her
"...And where do you think you're going?!"
She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!

A 6 year old is looking at his mother's ID card and reads

Sex : F

Laughs Uncontrollably.

Mother : What's so funny.

6 Year Old : I can't believe that you were so bad at Sex that you failed!!!!!

Who was the fastest runner ever ?

Adam...

How ?

He was the first in the human race!!!!!

A priest in town is accosted by a prostitute
'A quickie for twenty pounds?' she asks.
Puzzled, the priest shakes her off.

Outside town he meets a nun
'Pardon me, sister,' he asks, 'but what's a quickie?'
'Twenty pounds,' she says. 'Same as in town.'

NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE.........

An employee goes to see his supervisor.
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"Sorry, but we're short-handed," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says the employee. "I knew I could count on you!"

On 2020-06-24 12:53:08 uwillwantme said:
I am sick a tired of random people knocing on my door for donations.

This last one was from a sperm bank and I gave her a mouthful......

Nutritious

12 Year Old Girl to her Mom : You know today we had a 'Sex Education' Period in school.

Mother : That's good. But why are you pressing your boobs?

Girl : We got homework mom!!!!!