Feeling bitter is the likely consequence of feeling invalidated and unappreciated in one too many situations and relationships.

At the core of our fears, insecurities and Paralyzing anxietys is the lack of believe.

Nothing new under the sun as the book of Ecclesiastes says.

The ability to turn bitterness into sweetness is wisdom.

It's a leaning curve :)

Very deep and meaningful words @Allora.
Thank you , definitely food for thought.
I really appreciate these kinds of conversations and interacting with decent people on a professional platform.

Kind regards Kylie

Occasionally, some of the posts contain extremely offensive comments. I can only imagine what those individuals could say in private conversations or when they are able to remain anonymous. Kylie, I can only speculate as to how you must have felt.
@MissRed, your statement is spot on, but it's hard to put into practice when people are legitimately harmed, therefore let's avoid hurting other people. And doing it requires practice.
An oak tree takes years to reach maturity, yet it only takes one storm to uproot and destroy it.

On 2024-10-22 18:44:28 Kylie @ Elements said:
Very deep and meaningful words @Allora.
Thank you , definitely food for thought.
I really appreciate these kinds of conversations and interacting with decent people on a professional platform.

Kind regards Kylie

My pleasure beautiful Lady. We light each others candle.

In order to change the situation, you have to want to change yourself. You have to value your own health and happiness over a perceived vengeance on the other person.
Healing yourself has nothing to do with the other person. They're going to keep doing whatever it is they're doing that makes you so mad. You could explain that you feel upset when they do whatever it is that upsets you. But it's their choice to change. You can't control them.

Realize that your thoughts and feelings about this person also cloud your ability to have great relationships with others. In the process of making up negative stories about the other person, you're also telling yourself negative stories about yourself.

(Quote---An oak tree takes years to reach maturity, yet it only takes one storm to uproot and destroy it..Quote)

That same storm that uprooted that oak tree will also be the storm that gives it to water( will) to sprout again right there where it fell... it might not be able to right itself up again to how it stood before the storm, but it will give live to something new and maybe even better with no old worm holes and woodpecker holes and strangler plants in its branches and it will grow strong again.;).. nature is beautiful and so are people.. we just need to appreciate that falling down whether you a tree or human it is part of the cycle of life.

I could not believe my eyes this past weekend..

The forum went to shit over the weekend with spam post after spam post by one individual.

The result... multiple request for GM activation this week.

Good for the esa bank balance...but does not spell anything good for the main forum and in the long run for esa.

One of these days the main forum will be a waste land.. with only the spammers and trolls posting.. making what is read from the outside by non subscribers/ non members look like a horror show they dont want to be a part of.

Just imagine being a new guy or girl that just came across esa this past weekend and you looked at all of those spam post, would you want to join esa..?

If I just discovered esa, and the forum looked like it did this weekend,i would have ran in the opposite direction. No sane person would willingly go stick his head in that nest unless you are one that likes that type of drama and are the same kind of crazy.

I get that esa can't monitor the site 24/7 unless they employ more people to moderate the site, which will cost money.

Maybe someone can just pop onto site atleast once a day over a weekend to check whats happening on forums and stop nonsense like this from carring on for a whole weekend, especially on the main forums that are visible to everyone from the outside.

This really did not look good this weekend and that is sad as it can really harm esa and as a result every single lady that choose to advertise here... we can all will end up looking like looneys for wanting to be part of a space where crazys can run amok on forums for days.

" Just imagine being a new guy or girl that just came across esa this past weekend and you looked at all of those spam post, would you want to join esa..?

If I just discovered esa, and the forum looked like it did this weekend,i would have ran in the opposite direction. No sane person would willingly go stick his head in that nest unless you are one that likes that type of drama and are the same kind of crazy."

Agree!

Would be nice to get some feedback from ESA on what has happened and steps take to try prevent this from happening again..,,

Copied and pasted from another thread...

"Until such time the sociopathic women are kept in check for, men may be abrasive and rude and feelingless, opinionated and all that men know to be, when put in context , even excusable....I cannot see, even imagine, even SF to be or do what TomDick&Harry did this past weekend...and then the vicious vile abuse, use of words and insults hurled....just ain't the style of a man.

Men are different creatures and when out to insult go at it a different way.

It comes from a point of manly ego.


And thus if anybody is putting this forum and site into jeopardy look to the women who hide behind pseudonyms and sole purpose is to stir.

What is the solution?

It lays in the hands of the forum users and NOT in the hands of esa.


A sociopath will remain a sociopath

And if people can no longer behave then the forum should become a private platform ONLY accessible to paying members.

Even greater revenue for esa."

...and I would be 100% for it.
You wanna be a sociopathic asshole? Then pay to be a sociopathic asshole.


RB.

I have to agree wth RB that many of the profiles causing the worst disruption is SPs with fake punters profiles.. the insults is so "womenlike" and calculated men are more of a 'fuck you' in the moment reaction than reaching for personal insults etc..

But there are definitely also one or two men that seariously should have had a fanny and tits because they behave like little bitches and there are some that also became the voice for those that cant be on forum anymore because of their own behaviour getting them banned from posting.

Be that as it may.. we as a community is also guilty by responding to those threads and comments and playing the back and forth game, fueling fires and giving them audience, rather than just ignoring it and using the report button to direct ESA's attention to it.

Change wont happen if we ourself dont change on how we respond to things.

Ms Red.


My stance is very well known.


I disagree with silence and will continue to stand up to bullies PUBLICALLY....even if I am not the target of such malice and cowardice .

Tacitly allowing the bully to get away with their malice is not my way.

If anything to expose the bully and RID the forum of these sociopaths is the way to go and eventually it seems we are ALL on the same page.

How many have committed suicide because of social bullying, we are talking generally..if u remember even I was told to go kill myself by a sociopathic coward of a fucknut woman, thinking it would faze me.
The issue is. It would faze MANY , even men.

And yes ...my major in psychology only reinforces that which I am naturally..a fighter for the underdog.

Eventually we talking about decency and interaction in an adult manner where fiery words need not be seen as malicious.

How telling are the responses of most on the forum and very amusing to me, showing up weaknesses and strengths of the poster.


It is time the community. If there is one , stand together and look to a workable solution PUBLICALLY .

The men? They don't faze me...never have, in this space or in general.

Fucknuts have. Both male and female....and the fucknuts no longer have a place on this forum .



RB.



Addendum....actually NEVER should have had a place on this forum or any other.