On 2017-08-10 14:11:59 Need4Passion said:
...I've decided that if she doesn't care about my needs yet she costs me a fortune, then I might as well cut back on the money I invest in her with no return

My friend trust me this is where your shit will begin. I've been there. You cut back and things will start to fall apart slowly.

One thing I love about the purple world is that at least it is honest. You know you pay for a service and the lady knows she provides a service for money -- beautiful! Open and honest with both parties understanding the rules and it's fair to both.

In a marriage it is way more complicated and not always fair and honest to both parties unfortunately...

On 2017-08-10 13:59:53 BOOBS53 said:
Honorable Member your application was successfully accepted .. welcome to the popular SSS !!!

Thank you Boobs53 :)

Gentlemen

I am also a married man, but if ever you see your wife as, or refer to her as an expenditure and that she is costing you any money (whether it is a cent or a million rand) then you don't really love her.

She gave birth to your child(ren), if you don't love her, the least you can do, is to respect her and not refer to her as a cost.

Be a man and realise there is 2 sides to the problem and accept your contribution to it. Don't blame her. You have chosen to stay married, now grow a pair.

On 2017-08-10 14:38:46 yewrev said:
Gentlemen

I am also a married man, but if ever you see your wife as, or refer to her as an expenditure and that she is costing you any money (whether it is a cent or a million rand) then you don't really love her.

She gave birth to your child(ren), if you don't love her, the least you can do, is to respect her and not refer to her as a cost.

Be a man and realise there is 2 sides to the problem and accept your contribution to it. Don't blame her. You have chosen to stay married, now grow a pair.

Seconded!

An issue close to my heart. Wife was my best friend before we became lovers. Romantically I don't think I did it for her but I was husband material. Over time the reality has come back to haunt us. We care about each other and have the most intellectual discussions but have little romantic feelings for each other.

As suggested above, punting has become an outlet for me. One of the challenges however is that I once in a while one can catch feelings. Connect to another person spiritually but have no legal or other ties to that other person. So just be careful about that.

You guys do realise that your wife is probably venting to her friends about you much the same as you're venting here.

On 2017-08-10 15:05:20 Bbw Nadia said:
You guys do realise that your wife is probably venting to her friends about you much the same as you're venting here.

Yes. Well I do anyway.

The worst was when I say texts from one of her old boyfriends trying to arrange a meet. I was upset for a day and felt nothing after that. Sad ain't it.

On 2017-08-10 15:05:20 Bbw Nadia said:
You guys do realise that your wife is probably venting to her friends about you much the same as you're venting here.

Lol! Very true!

On 2017-08-10 14:38:46 yewrev said:

Be a man and realise there is 2 sides to the problem and accept your contribution to it. Don't blame her. You have chosen to stay married, now grow a pair.

Yewrev -- so why punt then?

I believe a lot of men on this site do indeed love their wives.
The point here is the physical satisfaction or lack thereof.

On 2017-08-10 14:38:46 yewrev said:
Gentlemen

I am also a married man, but if ever you see your wife as, or refer to her as an expenditure and that she is costing you any money (whether it is a cent or a million rand) then you don't really love her.

She gave birth to your child(ren), if you don't love her, the least you can do, is to respect her and not refer to her as a cost.

Be a man and realise there is 2 sides to the problem and accept your contribution to it. Don't blame her. You have chosen to stay married, now grow a pair.

I had the same view of marriage as you do. I made that very clear to my wife before we got married becuase I never wanted to be im a loveless or fake marriage.

Unfortunately I realised only after a lot of documents where signed that all I am to her is a bank.

Yeah, she does complain amd belittle me to her friends, and she takes great pride in it too as I've witnessed for myself while they're supporting there partners in the same thing and doing a worse job of it.

My point is that you can't make someone else do what they don't want to. You also don't want to be someone's doormat and keep giving and making them happy while you're not. Just go make yourself happy.

I used to spend nearly everything on my wife for most of my marriage and she just asked for more and complained about what she didn't have. I've decided to invest in myself very recently and well my child naturally gets everything he needs and the surprising thing is she actually talks to me now, civilly.

Somehow it seems like taking care of your needs first just works. Maybe it isn't for everyone. Hell it wouldn't be gor the ideal women I should have married but we are where we are and have to find things that work.