On 2017-08-10 15:29:19 Need4Passion said:






I made that very clear to my wife before we got married becuase I never wanted to be im a loveless or fake marriage.

Unfortunately I realised only after a lot of documents where signed that all I am to her is a bank.

Yeah, she does complain amd belittle me to her friends, and she takes great pride in it too as I've witnessed for myself while they're supporting there partners in the same thing and doing a worse job of it.

My point is that you can't make someone else do what they don't want to. You also don't want to be someone's doormat and keep giving and making them happy while you're not. Just go make yourself happy.

I used to spend nearly everything on my wife for most of my marriage and she just asked for more and complained about what she didn't have. I've decided to invest in myself very recently and well my child naturally gets everything he needs and the surprising thing is she actually talks to me now, civilly.

Somehow it seems like taking care of your needs first just works.

Keep on preaching preacher. That's my exact view on marriage. I never dream of leaving my family, no matter how tight a pussy is outside my marriage. Punting is there just to remove frustrations that men usually have.

Approaching your wife who deprives you of sex with blue balls is like finding her giving affection to another man whilst you have a loaded gun. Punting/investing in your happiness helps to unload that gun, hence the she seems Civil when talking to you. Cause all the frustrations have been taken care of by our beautiful purple world super heroes. Damn I love me some purple world women.

There's an African saying that translates to "concubines help/keep the marriage going strong".

On 2017-08-10 13:46:43 Honorable Member said:
@Sibyl - I think you've articulated circumstances perfectly.

I do value her friendship and companionship and I feel that any attempt to pressurise her - be it through romancing, manipulation or discussions / counseling - will have a negative impact on this.

I tend to agree with you. It will cause more damage to try and get her to change who she has always been, in order to meet your evolving sexuality. Rather continue to get that missing 5% here, but take heed of my warning, as well as those of other members posted on this thread. Good luck!

On 2017-08-10 15:20:05 GreyKnight said:
On 2017-08-10 14:38:46 yewrev said:

Yewrev -- so why punt then?

I believe a lot of men on this site do indeed love their wives.
The point here is the physical satisfaction or lack thereof.

I punt for the physical satisfaction.

Never in any of my response on here or anywhere have ever belittled my wife.

She may or may not give me all I need, but that does not give me the right to belittle her, and see her as an exspense.

Things between the sheets might / or might not have changed. I did not marry her for sex, I married her because thereoff.

My point was not about the satisfaction, it us about the wife as an expense.

Just as a general statement since there are so many better men than me, you would not be here if you loved or respected your wife the way you claim.

I don't claim to anymore. I did before and I was not punting then while I was being used and abused. I would stop punting in a heartbeat if I any form of real intimacy. Since I don't, I grew a pair and decided to take a different view on things since just loving and respecting the person that conned me into marrying them will just leave me sad and depressed with full balls and an empty pocket.

On 2017-08-10 17:19:38 Need4Passion said:
Just as a general statement since there are so many better men than me, you would not be here if you loved or respected your wife the way you claim.

I don't claim to anymore. I did before and I was not punting then while I was being used and abused. I would stop punting in a heartbeat if I any form of real intimacy. Since I don't, I grew a pair and decided to take a different view on things since just loving and respecting the person that conned me into marrying them will just leave me sad and depressed with full balls and an empty pocket.

Dude, I love your outlook on this indaba. We should do drinks if you are up for it :-)

@yewrev -- the fact that you feel that way about your wife is honorable and beautiful and I truly respect that.

I feel however that if a guy wants to tell us that he is seen as a "bank" and it is not reciprocated in kind, he has the full right to say so. There are a lot of such marriages out there. I was caught in such a marriage myself and I have no problem to say that all I was to my wife was an ATM (she even admitted to this later on after the divorce).

Do I respect the fact that she is the mother of my children? Hell yes!

Do I respect the type of person she really is? Hell no!

To her: money = love
And when the huge "love settlement" in the divorce ran out after overseas holidays with the new boyfriend, fancy cars, permanently renting director's dwellings etc. -- she wanted to come back to me on a few occasions (which I refused every time). So now she hurts my children emotionally to get back at me.

What I'm saying is that all of us punters have our reasons for being here, otherwise why do we punt? And I am not going to judge people for admitting how they feel. Especially if they feel safe admitting it here on this forum to an audience that consists of a large number of people that are in the same boat as they are.

I know exactly how Need4Passion feels and I welcome him "venting" his frustration here.

@GK

Lets agree to disagree on this. As you say we all have an opinion and I should respect those that differ from mine.

I have to admit, I am very lucky in the sense that my wife hate shopping. She does not spend thousands on clothes, shoes, jewlery, make-up etc. Maybe that is why I do feel this way.

@yewrev -- lol...ok sir.

You are indeed lucky in quite a few aspects it would seem.

I truly do respect your opinion also.

I would still recommend trying the counseling route first.

That way if it doesn't work out you know that you've tried as hard as you can to make it work.

Having sex less than 8 times in a year is viewed as a sexless marriage.

There can be many causes for this from medical to mental (The mental side can be either or both partners fault).

In my personal case it made me look really hard at the relationship and realize it wasn't working on many other levels as well. (Fortunately no kids)

Now both of us have the opportunity of finding the right person and I don't have the guilt of having tried to treat the incorrect problem (lack of sex).

Though the many beautiful woman on this site were always temping :)

Honorable member check your pm