I had a beer with a friend on Saturday evening and here is his story.

“Saturday morning,

Waking a little later than normal I could feel a dull headache which only became a little more intense when I stood up. As I had not had a good shag for awhile this could be the reason so after a shxx, shave and shampoo I was ready for a good shag.

Being close to 9.00am I telephoned
Lady 1, “please try again later”,
Lady 2 just rang and rang,
Lady 3 “the number you have dialed does not exist”,
Lady 4 ”please try again later”
Lady 5 at last a human voice, agreed services, time and address and off I go.

Arrived at the gate which opened with no delay, off-street parking behind an electric gate and the lady starts to open the front door to the house as I lock the car and walk to the front entrance.

The bedroom was clean and well appointed with a nice bed and a massage plinth all well positioned. What drew my attention was the number of pillows on the bed, I know ladies like their comforts but one or two would be the norm, not
5 or 6.

With the formalities completed we stood there together just getting to know each other and feel the way to each others pleasure zones. Slowly we undressed each other and continued to stand and explore the areas that we love so much.
I did tell the lady in our introduction that I had a little headache and she just nodded her head in acknowledgement. Little did I know what remedy she had in store for me? More on that later.

After we had made each other ready for some more action the lady spread a nice towel on the bed and we lay down together and continued with some very nice foreplay, both of us were enjoying the attention. Without intervention she lent over and pulled a disinfectant wet wipe out of a box right next to the bed and then OH so gently and carefully gave my private parts a real good clean, this lady adores your penis, No on second thoughts, I think we worships it. Once completed and happy with the sparkling clean penis she carefully and with such precision placed a condom on the penis of steel and just slid back into the previous position within my arms. I could even read the serial number on the condom.

By now she was very wet and slowly my fingers approached her clitoris and I was able to feel just how much attention I had given her. She moved her pelvis in rhythm with me and soon it was time to let my tongue, lips and mouth do some talking so I moved into the 69 position and this was oh so pleasurable with her playing with me and my tongue exploring all her pleasure zones. After a while she was certainly enjoying her first orgasm so I stopped and moved position so that I could focus my attention on her beautiful breasts, she sensing this moved from the 69 position and knelt in front of me with an up-right torso position, I mirrored this position and we were in a total embrace for some while.

She then beaconed that I pass her some pillows which she then placed in the middle of the bed and then moved to place her buttocks on the pillows thus elevating her pelvis, more pillows were placed behind her upper back so that she was in a semi-sitting position. I then moved to position myself between her legs so that my head was well and truly between her upper legs and I was able to continue my tongue tip test. Whilst I tasted her clit she began a pressure point head massage to relieve my headache, what an absolutely pleasant head massage it was, certainly my first in this position.

Whist she continued to find all my pressure points on the forehead, scalp and back of the neck I was keeping busy with my left hand on her breasts and my right hand slowly but surely preparing her for a G-spot massage. She is particularly tight and slowly and tenderly I could introduce the index finger and feel her G-Spot which was already fully engorged with blood and ready for a nice massage. {Note to self: remember the pressure you place on the g-spot is the same pressure you apply to wiping your eye lid.}

We continued this routine for what felt like ages, me having a pressure point head massage whilst I worked with my tongue, lips and mouth and two handed action. By now she was ready for her next orgasm and I placed more attention on her g-spot, well what a huge response with a lovely pay-back for my attention. WOW, did she enjoy this, by now her concentration was lost and my head massage came to an end, so let’s go for more attention to all her zones.

By now her vagina was now fully dilated and I could introduce two fingers to continue the g-spot massage and now and then a rub on her A-Spot which I could feel she also really enjoyed. All the while I was still gently working her clitoris area and the 1:30 position was very pleasurable for her. As I was reading her bodily movements I sensed that she was now ready for her next Big O and placed a bit move speed and frequency on my activity. Her legs started to bounce and flex and her hands were waving, then behind her head, then above, then back to my head to hold me closer into her.

I could hear her whimpering, “Don’t stop, don’t finish” over and over again, like dust on a DVD. The towel which was on the bed was now very wet from her Liquid O, she was gushing but not squirting but WOW a fair amount of liquid.
Just then she had one almighty explosion with legs moving up and down and stomach contractions and vaginal contractions that were very powerful on my fingers.

My left hand all this while was moving her sexual energy from her base to her heart chakra but at some point she was able to explode with absolute joy and excitement. I then moved from my position up her body and she guided my penis into her throbbing wet vagina. I could feel the warmth and as I moved the tip a little more the contractions were already evident. Slowly a little more as she started to accept what I had to offer. I could feel that the tip was in contact with her cervix but I still had some more to offer. A slow push and delight on her face so I withdrew an inch or two and then thrust into her cervix with the swollen tip of my penis, WOW her eyes suddenly became like neon lights, flashing, blinking sparkling with such depth of enjoyment. After I had maintained some nice deep penetration with full internal contact I heard the whimper had changed, how long ago I could not say, but what I was now hearing was “Finish me, Finish me”.

I lent forward with my mouth right next to her ear and asked ”do you want me to finish”. Eyes closed, she just nodded like she was already in a trance. Well time to change to the CAT position and finish our most enjoyable morning. Having stored all my juices for more than a week I climaxed with an almighty explosion deep inside.

She certainly felt the shock waves as her entire body appeared to jump and bounce on the bed. I always keep going until I am sure there are no drops left inside me. {Taking off a condom, nothing can be worse than having removed the condom and you still have a discharge over the bed clothes.} We then continued in this position as with the various orgasms come a belief that the World is flat and the ladies still need to “Hold on”.

Her after-glow was magnificent to see and be part of the experience, her entire body was limp and the serene look on her face was sure sign that the extended multiple orgasms were really enjoyed. From all the movement and shared sexual energy there was now complete calm and silence, not a sound, not a movement, just 2 nude bodies inter-twined in ecstasy.

“Thank you, Thank you” returned the whimper with a slow turning of the wrist to show an erect thumb, accompanied by another whimper “Number one”. Knowing that the lady would never be able to stand on her own I moved off the bed into a standing position to assist her to stand. As she attempted to stand her knees were just simply too week to support her and we stood again in an embrace position with her head and breasts leaning on my chest.

She then told me that her last big O had been a full body orgasm with remarkable sensations in the tips of her fingers and right down into her toes. Her convulsions and thrusting in lust were sure evidence of this. She apologized for not doing up the buttons on my shirt as she said she could not focus her eyes. Her vision was just a blur and try as she might she could not dress correctly. She tried to put on her panty but could not balance on one foot, such was the effect of extended multiple big O’s.

The customary “please come again” was changed this time to make a promise to visit again in 3 days.”

So guys there is a review from a friend, if ever I have a headache I sure will phone my friend for some advice.

Name and link please

Hi See,

The lady does not advertise on ESA
and therefore may not be named. Sorry.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAH ROFLMAO!!!! WTF!!!!

@great-sex-pectation: buddy you made my day with this post. The funniest shit I've read in a while. and your attention to detail, were you taking notes during this punt?

To highlight my favourites:

"I know ladies like their comforts but one or two would be the norm, not 5 or 6"

"nice towel on the bed and we lay down together and continued with some very nice foreplay" (that towel made some impression!!)

"No on second thoughts, I think we worships it" (methinks you is a retard)

"the sparkling clean penis she carefully and with such precision placed a condom on the penis of steel" (hahahaha)

"certainly enjoying her first orgasm so I stopped" (that's a bit selfish)

"with an up-right torso position, I mirrored this position and we were in a total embrace for some while." (that's called love)

"I was able to continue my tongue tip test" (wtf is this?)

"Note to self: remember the pressure you place on the g-spot is the same pressure you apply to wiping your eye lid" (note to self, never ever do this - the more the pressure the more the stimulation - as long as there's no pain???)

"All the while I was still gently working her clitoris area and the 1:30 position" (man you're detailed)

"Big O" (do you write for O Magazine or Cosmo?)

"“Don’t stop, don’t finish” over and over again, like dust on a DVD."

"The towel which was on the bed was now very wet from her Liquid O, she was gushing but not squirting but WOW a fair amount of liquid." (what planet are you from, the one with Solid O's?)

"My left hand all this while was moving her sexual energy from her base to her heart chakra" (dude, fuck this was a buster)

"WOW her eyes suddenly became like neon lights, flashing, blinking sparkling with such depth of enjoyment" (all this while i'm thinking she's either fugly, being fucked for the 1st time or a blowup doll - little did i know she's a fuckbot - see news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7946780.stm, and
www.theweeklyconstitutional.com/news/we-cant-explain-it/374-behold-i-give-you-the-worlds-first-sex-bot)

"“Finish me, Finish me”" (as in Mortal Kombat, nerdboy?)

"Having stored all my juices for more than a week I climaxed with an almighty explosion deep inside" (man that's long, i would have popped about 5 minutes ago)

"I always keep going until I am sure there are no drops left inside me" (how the fuck do you do this? - man i've been contemplating tantra, but this is superstud powers)

"Taking off a condom, nothing can be worse than having removed the condom and you still have a discharge over the bed clothes" (seriously? a whore's 'bed clothes') :)

"We then continued in this position as with the various orgasms come a belief that the World is flat and the ladies still need to “Hold on”" (i have no words for you)

"“Thank you, Thank you” returned the whimper with a slow turning of the wrist to show an erect thumb, accompanied by another whimper “Number one”. Knowing that the lady would never be able to stand on her own I moved off the bed into a standing position to assist her to stand. As she attempted to stand her knees were just simply too week to support her and we stood again in an embrace position with her head and breasts leaning on my chest." (still no words)

"She apologized for not doing up the buttons on my shirt as she said she could not focus her eyes. Her vision was just a blur and try as she might she could not dress correctly. She tried to put on her panty but could not balance on one foot, such was the effect of extended multiple big O’s." (i'm so speechless, i almost want "you" to fuck me)

I may have taken 1 or 2 quotes out of context, but damn this was funny.

Dude, you're smoking some good shit. Either you copied and pasted this entire "review" from an erotic Mills and Boon, you've won MULTIPLE Pulitzers, or you are a bored sad fuck.

Either which way you made my day :)

did you pay her or did she pay you?

A fine piece of journalese, G.E .
The most minute detail is described with exact precision.

Hello All,

Sorry for the delay in my replies, I have been away
from office for a few days.

@ Sir Ben,
Thank you, I did enjoy putting my friend’s visit into words.

@ verywicked
I am so pleased that either which way I was able to make your day.

To keep the aire of merriment I will elaborate a little more on the reason that the more orgasmic WG’s choose to keep 5 or 6 pillows.

Prudent punters immediately look for this when entering the bedroom, this is a sure sign that the lady wishes you to use them, the pillows are not ornaments in some museum.

Here is what my friend told me about the pillows.

“Advanced Version of Doggy Style

What you want to do is when you are entering her from behind on the bed you want to flatten her out. But, before you flatten her out you want to place a pillow or two under the lower part of her stomach. Once you have the pillows under her stomach (to raise her butt higher) you want to lie down fully flat on top of her. Often people refer to this position with out the pillows as 'froggy style.'
However instead of staying even with her body, move up as high as you can. The goal of this is that as you thrust you are hitting the top inside wall of her vagina. The entire point of the pillow and moving up on her is so that you are thrusting down directly into her 'orgasm zone.' As long as you can last at least 5 minutes in this position you are sure to give her an orgasm.
If you are doing it right your head should be right above hers putting you in a perfect position for some dirty talk...As long as you feel comfortable and she is comfortable you can throw in some dirty talk along the lines of: 'you like it like this?', 'you like me on top of you?', 'you have a great ass baby'
You can use your arms to lightly pin down her arms to show male authority...by doing this you are going to increase the 'animal primal instincts' that doggy style provides because it shows her that you are totally in control of what’s going on.

Once she has an orgasm, don’t stop, she will have an orgasm and think she needs a break, however, you keep on going slower and lighter, if required, and be ready to thrust and drive for an even more intense second or multiple orgasm. Slowly increase your speed and pressure and she will come again and again ad again, just keep her worshipping you.



The other use for pillows that an Orgasmic WG just loves and craves is this,

'2 Inches Bigger G spot Missionary'

Here is how to change missionary position to '2 inches bigger g spot missionary': (note to self: not only does it hit the spot, it also makes you feel 2 inches bigger inside of her due to the 'angle of the dangle')

What you want to do is take a normal missionary position and adapt it to hit the 'orgasm zone.' Here is what to do:

1) again use a pillow (or two depending on physical proportions) under her lower back but this time in missionary position

2) start inside of her in missionary and scoop under her legs and put them on your shoulders

3) now place your hands under her lower back between her and the pillow

4) lift her up so that as you thrust into her again you are thrusting UP AND IN
and hitting the top of her vagina!

(note: the entire reason you have the pillow is that you don't have to support her entire lower body weight with your hands)

5) thrust up and in and the position that you have her in is sure to trigger an amazing orgasm

If you have the flexibility lean forward and kiss her while you are inside of her. Due to the close physical contact with her (legs on shoulders AND hands around her lower back/ass) it is a very intimate position and adding in kissing makes it highly emotional.

If you are a guy that likes romance then you can also tell her how much you like this position and that she is your favourite, absolute very best WG. This position is often a girl's favorite.

You are welcome to copy and paste these pillow positions that my friend uses, I am sure there is no intellectual property right in the art of copulation.

Oh, sorry, yes I paid her in cash but she paid me in kind compliments.'

Dude, you and your friend spend wayyyyy too much time together. Sharing too much detail is simply wrong!

Kudos to you greatexpectation those two posts jus made my day :) fantastic writing

a name and a site would have made the story - esa is not that jealous i hope