A bit of humour on this dark night :

Someone used the term today and it reminded me of an e-mail I received some time ago regarding Hell.

As religion is a no-go area, I am changing some of the wording .

During the University of Arizona midterm chemistry exam, a bonus question was posed to the students. The question :
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat) ?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student however wrote the following :

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. Hotel California.

As for how many souls are enterring Hell, lets look at the exponential growth in humans, and also assume that after death, Hell is an option. Taking into account the participants on this site, lets assume that Hell is a given.

So, with birth rates and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now look at the rate of change in the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionally as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities :
1.) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2.) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it ?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Suzie during my freshman year that : It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account that I slept with her last night, then Number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that Hell is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct.

The student received an A +

Reminds me of this onomatopoeic piece of doggerel , "rather hard to understand" admits Ms Sitwell:


When
Sir
Beelzebub called for his syllabub in the hotel in Hell
Where Proserpine first fell,
Blue as the gendarmerie were the waves of the sea,
(Rocking and shocking the barmaid).
Nobody comes to give him his rum but the
Rim of the sky hippopotamus-glum
Enhances the chances to bless with a benison
Alfred Lord Tennyson crossing the bar laid
With cold vegetation from pale deputations
Of temperance workers (all signed In Memoriam)
Hoping with glory to trip up the Laureate’s feet,
(Moving in classical metres)…

Like Balaclava, the lava came down from the
Roof, and the sea’s blue wooden gendarmerie
Took them in charge while Beelzebub roared for his rum.
…None of them come!

– Edith Sitwell

Off to Google to translate Ben

Need to use Google Archaic, not normal google

Let me offer a simpler version of Ben's post :

The Devil, also known as the Lord of the Flies, sat in the Hotel California at the bar calling for his drink, which they obviously did not stock, as he changed his order to rum. It was the place where he first raped Proserpine after he aducted her from her mother Demeter, to the Underworld. The fucking French in blue were also involved. He thought that the glowing sky would enhance his chance to be blessed, but Alfred, who only rhymes with benison, hence his presence, left after seeing the icy cold snacks that the dead, who have been deputised to serve drinks, left for them. Which is ironic as they were all abstaining from alcohol intake. But they were all trying to impress the Nobel eminence sitting at the bar. But they were all burned so badly that they had to don balaclavas and eat some galaktobourikos.

How is that for simplifying things Ben ?

Cheers

Sir the versatility of your genius knows no bounds!
You can pretty much ascribe any meaning to it.
The poem(if it can be called that) has less to do with "meaning" than with "sound"(onomatopoeia).

Consider Mr Browning's poem which sounds like a galloping horse:

"I sprang to the stirrup, and Joris, and he;
I gallop’d, Dirck gallop’d, we gallop’d all three;
..."

Ben

Simply had the time and the mention of Proserpine tickled my interest. Did a piece on Greek Mythology many moons ago and her name popped up. She is not that well known.

As I am totally tone deaf, going with sound was not really an option.

And I have to admit my ignorance towards poems, there are almost always a deeper meaning, and as I consider reading as part of my relaxation, I usually steer clear of poems.

But every so often something will tickle my fancy and you are amazed when you start dissecting the poems how deep they really are.

Cheers

Seems Hell IS freezing over here!