Posted: 2017-05-19 00:24:32
I used to say the same thing, but unless you've been to the point of utter hopelessness and despair, to the point of finally deciding to take that plunge, against all your natural instincts of self preservation, I know that it takes a lot of balls to cross this barrier!
When I read this post today, having been a fan since the early 90's and therefore following his journey through the years, I was actually surprised he held on for this long!
I have personally felt the affects of being left behind by suicides, and it has affected me very profoundly, but until I got to the brink myself, I could never understand until I reached that moment! My life revolved around looking into methods of suicide, a heroine overdose being at the top of my list and slow asphyxiation a close second! Each day pushed me further and further, at times reaching out to strangers, desperately trying to find reason to go on, each time I fell asleep hoping to not wake up only to burst into tears when my eyes opened the next day, the pattern repeating itself day after day, month after month until it became years!
I do not romanticize his death, I envy it and feel a personal relief for him, knowing what I went through!
Yes, the bravest thing I ever did was carry on despite my hopelessness, but the contradiction is that I feel like the biggest coward for not taking that plunge too!
I do not dispute your opinion, you are entitled to it! If my experience and actions make me a coward, so be it!