Today was one of those days.

You know, the one where your little brain tells you that its as a good a time as any to have a lekker punt.

Yes! That sounds like a great idea. I think I'll do that.

So, off you go to your electronic device, log onto ESA and see what all you can see. And see you do! And see.. and see some more and more and more until you're utterly confused about who to see.

So you make a shortlist of around 10 ladies that you've had your "eye" on who you've never visited before.

Strategically you set about calling the first number. No answer. Bummer. No worries though - still plenty to call.

Number 2. Voicemail. Hope whoever he is he's having a good one.

Number 3. Dammit, just ringing.

Number 4. Actually you dialled number 1 again just to be sure.

30 minutes later and a call register that will get you sent straight to hell and you're nowhere closer to getting your knob polished. You're gloomy - so is the sky. All the more reason to not give up!!

The clock ticks on and the semi you're nursing is in serious need of a pornhub tab if it has any chance of making it out alive!

Eventually, one of the dames pops up as available now! "Game ON" you scream as you hastily beat in the numbers on your phone as if it owed you money. FUCK! No reply. Try again. Another 5 times after that just to be sure.

Fuck it. Switch over to the pornhub tab and watch a MILF get perfectly tuned by some Eastern European stud with a penchant for over-acting. Hey wait, wasn't she listed as a teen last week?