So, I just spent the last weekend in Pretoria, my first ever visit to our capital city, and probably one of the most frustrating weekends of my life!

The Motorway system ejaculates me deep into the heated throbbing womb of Tshwane, and I am literally trembling with glee! I log onto ESA and see that there are some 227 luscious escorts, 52 massage ladies and 5 venues in Pretoria, advertising on this site alone. I am besides myself with excitement. Not only are the exquisite Mandy and the delectable Shyloh situated within a mere five minute drive of my hotel, but such desirable ladies as the sexy and seductive Sugarsugarsugar, the incomparable Naledi with the Coca-Cola can, the ‘ever cerebral’ and sensual Rossia (I still want to ask her face to face if she ever found out who stole her pantie) and bad-girl Shakira, are all within close proximity of me. Heaven on Earth is nearby (Ann, Ann... the gorgeous Ann Bews!!) and the list of wonderful women that are a mere phone call away reads like the Who's Who of Escorting!! Cara, Harley, Tequila, Khloe, Madonna, Ramita, Annabelle, TT and Divalicious... the list is endless, and they are ALL at my beck and call!!! Wee Willy and I are besides ourselves with excitement!!

On top of this, the Saturday morning streets of Pretoria are literally heaving with sexy and seductive young women! Everywhere I look, there is a lithe and lissome body, a quivering pair of breasts, a hard muscled booty or a succulent pair of thighs! Women, women everywhere! I swear Pretoria beats Durban hands down for beautiful woman. At one stage I am captivated by a sensual young siren in a white halter-neck and skimpy shorts so tight that the outline of her mons is highlighted like the bonnet of a Volkswagen Beetle, and her glistening ebony thighs shimmer in the Pretoria heat! I almost drive into a blerry Jacaranda tree! Tight skirts, elegant suits, bare mid-riffs, swollen boob-tubes, long satin legs, tanned arms, high high heels, exotic hairstyles... the Pretoria ladies have come out to play!

(OMW, is that an eau de cologne-ed KICKASS that I see sauntering along the road past the Wilgers Hospital, on his way to HOE... natty pin-striped suit, starched fuchsia open front shirt, gold rimmed reading glasses, slick-backed hair, pockets bristling with cash... and priapismic penis tenting the inside of his Calvin Klein lingerie?)

So!! Who do I choose? (definitely not KICKASS... his shirt is the wrong colour!) Who do I select for an hour of erotic carnal Pretorian heat? Who is going to share their perfumed breasts and their sleek thighs and their satiny skins with me?

And the sad answer is... no one!!

I am in Pretoria on family stuff and the better-half has me caged in like an inmate in a concentration camp! There is not a chance in hell of me slipping away to Kensington (is that in Pretoria?) to visit the quintessential Yvonne, my all time dream woman!! I will not be getting to know Ann Bews or be allowed to hold Mandy tight against me, before exploring her magnificent sexy body. I will not get to visit that wonderful Sugar Lady!! There will be no time to play!!!

Well, hopefully there will be another chance, another visit to Pretoria, and another opportunity to explore the Pretoria beauties!

You Pretoria guys have got it soooo GOOD!!

I get back home yesterday afternoon and I am as horny as a fucking rooster on Viagra! A quick call and Moonlight Girl is ready and waiting... and I get to explore her slender girl-like body with its impossibly large breasts (for a woman so slim and dainty), her hard heavy nipples, her flat unlined belly and her tiny neat sopping wet crucible. I sate my pent up Pretoria lust between her svelte sable thighs... and cum so hard that Wee Willy’s 200 million sperm cells smash their heads joyously against the inside of the condom like Kamikaze moths dive-bombing the windscreen of a speeding bus!

Pretoria makes me Horneeee!!

WW....Caged in ag nee man...!!! Would have loved t have finally meet you....maar n volgende keer!!!

@WW, So much for the trek to kensington...you bloody English traitor!!!! LOL
Hope you are keeping well, Willy Wonka? Lets catch up via whatsapp

I seem to remember that the storyteller is highly revered in African lore. Well WhiteWhite, I nominate you for the ESA storyteller badge award.

You always take time to really tell your story with humor and wit and never fail to entertain. Well done .. another very entertaining piece and always an enjoyable respite from the viciousness and fighting of some other threads.

Lovely story........ please tell how you couldn't get away in Pretoria, but could in Durbs??? Think of an appointment next time that you have to keep !!!!

Yes WW, Kensington is in Pretoria, just duskant Lion's Head, say inbetween the N8 and Soutpan.
Pls invest in a Garmin? Otherwise you'd loose out on being told to get lost by a WG, you'd simply do this yourself LOL

@WW: Glad you had a lil glimpse of my valley. Fully understandable that you were hesitant to ditch mommy for me coz she would STILL be looking for your chirp'n word porn ass seeing that I'd keep you for myself so you can seduce me with words all the time!! Hahaha!!

@Chmok: Darling, have you forgotten that I consider bitch-slapping a public service??? Please respect all women regardless of their profession. Thank you! Mwha!!

@Shyloh: Darling, you forgot to compare the clocks but there's a first for everything. Please go back and do yourself this private service??? Thank you!

@WW: You're getting a little behind on your wordly schedule ;-)

WW- I reckon you should not return to Clitoria with this threat of pubic bitch slapping in private hanging in the air!

Chmok- Those are very vague directions. Would it not have been a tad better to just mention the roar of a Lion?

Can you believe it?

It will be in Pretoria again real soon.

And this time I will be ALONE!!!

Recommendations please!

I can't fucking wait.