Late yesterday afternoon I make the call...

Ring ring...
Pickup...
“Helloow!” (Saccharine sweet perfectly toned RSA-english woman’s voice)
Me: “Hi, may I speak to Blue please?”
She: “This is Blue speaking”
Me (confused): “Erm... Sorry... but you are not the Blue I spoke to... and visited last time!” (The Blue I know is petite and cute and sexy and VERY Zulu sounding!)
She: “I’m Blue!”
Me (grappling for Blue’s Zulu name in my mind... got it!!!): “ I mean’t can I speak to Blue... I mean Nonhlanhla please?” (Not her real name)
She: “She is Blue two!”
Me (WTF!): “She is Blue too?... you mean there are TWO Blues there?”
She: “Yes, I am Blu and she is Blue!!”
Me (WTF!) “Okay, well then can I speak to Blue please?”
She: “I AM Blu!”
Me (OMG!): “I meant, can I speak to Nonhlanhla please?”
She: ” Sorry, Nonhlanhla is not here, she will only be back tomorrow evening!”
Me (very patiently): “Oh... I see, Okay, I’ll call back tomorrow then, thanks Blue!”
She: “I’m not Blue!”
Me: (Waaat?): “Huh?”
She: “I’m Blu!!
Ping ping...

Aaaaaaaaaaggghhh!!!

Some days it just goes like that!!

Late this afternoon, I get out of my office and the sky is blue blue blue and the sea is blue blue blue... and my balls are blue blue blue... and I just wanna DO Blue Blue Blue!!! I’m forking horny, so let me try again!! I make the call, but this time (thank god) I get Blue first ring... petite, cute, sexy and very Zulu sounding... and I make the appointment for tonight!! LOVELY... I’m all set!!

But, unbeknownst to me, things are not QUITE going to be as simple as all that!!!!

I make the trip to the small neat house on the quiet dark lane. Its like dejavu when I drive in (I last visited Blue here late in November)... Blue’s ‘sister’... a huge (and I mean REALLY huge!) round buxom smiley lady with purple hair and a tent dress, almost bounces off the high veranda in her eagerness to welcome me in. Once again, no privacy or niceties or tact here... I am ushered in through the tidy Joshua Doore showroom sitting room with it’s massive TV set blasting “eKasi-Our Stories”, and a couple of nubile maidens lolling on the sofa, through the tiny kitchenette and it’s huge vats of bubbling stew, and down the passage into THE room! Soft lighting, comfortable and neat. Purple Woman waddles out, and I am left to wait for the arrival of my precious Blue!

Four minutes later, the bright flourescent light shining in from the passage through the half open door is blotted out like a rare solar eclipse... and Purple Woman looms back into the room!

Now, I have absolutely NO problem with large lovely ladies! I like a woman with a bit of flesh on her as much as I like a lean lithe one. Pep-Lingerie Girl, one of my favorite working girls, is a small Large and Lovely Lady! My ex girlfriend was a small large... though not always lovely... lady!! But I draw the line when it comes to SUPER-DUPER Large and Lovely Ladies that look a little like a cross between a Whale and the Michelin Man!!!!

And SUPER-DUPER Large and Lovely Lady with the Purple Hair is wobbling seductively across the room towards me! She is draped in a MASSIVE diaphanous silk negligee (I swear the label reads ‘Made by SA marquee manufacturers’) and her satin thong is stretched and strained like the elastic of a lethally charged slingshot. Her arms are massive, her bosom gargantuan and her legs make an bull elephant look positively sylphlike! I leap onto the bed in horror as she propels herself towards me...  “WTF is going on?” I manage to stammer “What ARE you doing????”

“I’m Blu!” she whispers huskily, shimmies her way out of the negligee, and tries to gather me into her enormous tits! “Nooooo!” I screech, and stampede to the door as fast as my quaking legs can carry me!

And there is Blue... my dear sweet enchanting petite cute sexy and very Zulu sounding Blue!

Fuuuck Me!!!!

Well to cut a long story short, Blue is Nonhlanhla with the petite cute sexy body and the very Zulu voice... and Blu is the SUPER-DUPER Large and Lovely Lady with the Purple Hair and the very RSA-english voice!!!  Confusion confusion and an almighty cock-up!!!  And I am shivering like an Autumnal leaf!!!

(And if you don’t believe me, check out their profile pics on a competing escort site!) 

Blue lures me back into the neat room, apologises profusely for the cock up, calms my shattered nerves... and gets my cock up as only Blue can... and then proceeds to give me everything and more of what I had come for in the first place!! OMW Blue is absolutely wonderful!!!

So it turned out okay in the end! Blue was very apologetic... and very sexy... though I still cannot quite fathom why there has to be two Blues! I suppose they have their reasons…..

See you again soon Beautiful Blew!

Fuck... I mean Blue!!!

Or is it Blu?

Great story @WW.

The stuff of which Erectile Dysfunction is made!

WHITEWHITE, that is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. The tears were literally running down my cheeks. If you don’t write for a living, you should - your imagery is brilliant!

Lol ! More like 50 layers of Blu !

Lol WW. Enjoyed reading your story and it was very funny. I need to visit Blue as well, nice feedback.

I see Blue is back in town! Fifty Shades of Blue (part 2) to follow very soon!