Sorry in advance for the long rant. Just felt the need to offload. I know I am stating the obvious here.
For many on here it's super obvious, for the rest of us, less so and requires a little bit of extra reminding.

It's like how I know I can't play rugby, but every now and again I need to join in a game of touch rugby with my mates to get injured and remind myself why i dont play rugby - and im good for another couple years.

I recently ventured down the rabbit hole of Tinder. Not looking for anything serious (as I am in the process of a divorce), but maybe a person to chat to, who knows.

matchup happens. she seems nice, beautiful actually. long conversations and plans to meet later in the week. Also coming out of a long term relationship so not looking for anything serious. We discussed my divorce, her failed relationships. My passions, her hobbies. etc
shared a few photos - she really is pretty, a little flirty.

and then it starts - "do you mind sending me R350 for petrol"
Yup, writing was on the walls immediately. We have all seen that game before.

So i play along, see what R300 gets me (ive spent more on less) - let the fantasy carry on a bit before i tank it. and the conversations continue, but the signs are there, small inconsistencies in her story, etc

today i get the next request - "I cant make our date, feeling sick, and can you send me money for medicine" - she thought she has caught a fish.

sadly, reality was confirmed. I gave her one more chance, I asked her to send me a selfie , but giving me a "peace sign" with her hands.
To the scamsters credit he sent a photo of this same girl giving some sort of other hand gesture (at least he tried).
I said my goodbye, and blocked her. Sigh.
Immediately after that, a whatsapp from some other number (same profile photo as tinder) - this time threatening to post all my information and picture on social media for my family to see - no worries for me - literally nothing they couldn't find on LinkedIn. block.

still sucks tho

end of the day, this is why we love ESA. even with the occasional bad punt, we still know what we get here. Its no ones stated goals here to outright scam people, or try and break their heart. I am fully aware that everything here is purely transactional fantasy but somehow even with that in mind its still feels a million times better than what just happened.

while esa is not a perfect system, nothing is, but I am thankful for it regardless, and ill happy keep up my GM subs when I can. For all it's flaws, i am grateful for this industry and its consistency .

ESA really is easier and superior in so many other ways. At least doing this is honest. It is a clear trade with stated expectations.

PS. Always do an image search first, lots of plugins to make this easier.

ironic, what is essentially illegal, feels way more honest.

thanks for the tip. if there is a next time, i will. for now im uninstalling that app and planning my next booking with one of the many wonderful ladies on this site

I have also had a similar experience about 6 years ago.

Seemd to be a very nice guy, we chatted for a couple of days, he told me he had a house in Cape Town but worked abroad. Anyways a couple of days in and he asks me to please send money to his domestic worker in CT, as his bank accounts were giving issues and she needed to replace the roof on her house... "only R5000 Baby.. I will pay you back"

Needless to say I deleted and blocked his ass

Stay off dating sites if you're a rookie. Most of them are full of young women who don't know what they're looking for. If you're looking for something causal, they are great for cities with a high traffic for tourists. You have fun and never see each other again - no commitments, financial or emotional.

I love post like this. Littlerascal is right. Stay of dating sites if u a rookie. And if i can give u even more advice. Dont get a divorce. Just dont. Dating or finding someone is near impossible these days. They all want money. Thats all they want. Ive been single for a long time and if i knew how difficult it is to find someone again i would never have gotten divorced. Thats the honest truth. Try and save your marriage bro. Thats all i can say. I dont know how old u are, i was 40 when i became single i stil single and im 51 this year. And its not getting easier as we get older