Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run my little crazy friend, run!



Well, what can I say???
Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?

Two men walk into a pet shop and go over to the bird section.

Sonnyboy says to Umfan, 'Dat's dem.' The clerk asks if he can help
them.

'Yebo, we take four of dose beds in dat cage lapa side,' says Umfan.

Put beds in a pepa bag pleez, baas!'

The two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop. They get into
Sonnyboy's van and drive until they are high up on the hill and stop at
the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. Sonnyboy takes the birds out

of the bag, places 2 on each of his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
Umfan watches as Sonnyboy goes straight down for a few seconds followed
by a 'SPLAT'.

As Umfan looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says,

'Haibo, dis budgie jumpin' is too dangerous for me.'

A minute later, Philemon arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and
carries the familiar 'pepa bag'. He pulls a parrot out of the bag and is
carrying a gun in his other hand.

'Heita, Umfan. Watch dis.' Philemon says, and launches himself over the
edge of the cliff.

Umfan watches as half way down, Philemon takes the gun, blows the
parrot's head off and continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT, as he
joins Sonnyboy's remains at the bottom.

Umfan shakes his head and says, 'Eish baba, me is never tryin' dat
parrotshooting nider.'

After a few minutes, Goodman strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop
and is carrying the familiar 'pepa bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls
a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with the
same result.

Once more Umfan shakes his head.

'Hauw! First der was Sonnyboy wit his budgie-jumping, den Philemon
parrotshooting and now Goodman hen-gliding!

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
You call a bathing suit a 'swimming costume'.

You call a traffic light a 'robot'.
You call an elevator a 'lift'
You call a hood a 'bonnet'
You call a trunk a 'boot'
You call a pickup truck a 'bakkie'
You call a Barbeque a 'Braai'
You call a glove box a cubby hole.
The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.

You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.

You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.

You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.

You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.

You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.

You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.

You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.

You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

When you are a victim of crime and say: 'At least I'm still alive'.

You know a taxi can move twice it's certified number of people in one trip.

You travel 100's of kilometres to see snow.

You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee

To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.

More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.

People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given, Patience, Portion, Coronation.

'Now now' or 'just now' can mean anything from a minute to a month.

You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.

Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.

You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.

A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes.

The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.

You paint your car's registration on the roof.

You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.

You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.

Prisoners go on strike.

You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.

You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.

Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
You consider a high crime rate as normal.

You actually get these jokes (but they ARE true!) and pass them on to other friends from SA.
VIVA !!!!!

yip, you right. Those are kak jokes. Didn't laugh once

I enjoy your jokes. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Kakaka