a lady at the office recently said to me that she couldn't possibly date me - I'm far to nice - wtf????? (have had a few other ladies say this in the past)
Now - an SP recently said the same to me.
I guess my co-worker was being polite in avoiding a possible conflict situation but when I asked the SP what she meant she said I don't swear , was coureteous treated her with respect and gave her compliments.(and don't get me wrong - I don't want to marry the WG!)
My question is - surely that what women SHOULD want?
Reason I used SHOULD is that the lady at the office has an "...excting..." bf who treats her like sh*t (I've met other girls who also have - imo- crap but "exciting" bf's
What gives ladies??
Why don't the "nice boys" feature -

I know the feeling. Sometimes I think when some ladies get together, they discuss whose bf treats them the crappest, so everyone can feel sorry for them. And, no, it is not because I have been rejected that I say this. It is just what I THINK.

Girls don't like "nice" guys as boyfriends, finish en klaar. It seems the crappier a guy treats a girl the more she likes him and then goes for the next guy that does the same. "Nice" guys is not fun and don't do fun stuff.

Now is that a cat in the bird cage?

@andi... very very true. dunno why but seen a lot of them with low lifes, not that i appreciate men but some of them look really fugly but as you say its the excitment of beeing with a bad boy that excites a lot of them.

Indeed... and here is my "Jannie Jammer-gat for the day"... Fact is... nice guys do finish last, however with that being said... all the more for the ladies on this site.

How about that ladies... a bit of a discount for the nice guy punters ?

Invite the lady in the office out on a date. You then give her from "behind" , and thereafter you will not be able to get rid of her.

To the OP, its not so much about being nice, as being plain and boring. You can still be nice, but if you are too boring, then obviously no one will want to hang around with you. If you can introduce a little bit of "edge" and humour to your personality, that same lady will have a different perception of you. Its all subtle little changes you can make. I am not saying that you should become a dick to women, just introduce a little edge to your character. Teasing is one of the foundations of flirting, so you could poke fun at her or something she's wearing etc.

If you break it down, its probably your upbringing and social conditioning, that has encouraged you to be nice, polite and friendly around women, so it takes quite a while to introduce that edge into your personality.

I suggest you watch Californication, and pay close attention to Hank Moody. Just notice how he is always respectful towards women, yet he does poke fun at them and also dishes out some light insults. He is also sometimes a dick, but he always has the best intentions.

Again - thanks all for the insights.
Good points in each comment.
Nice guys might finish last but thats because we are carrying off all the loot the bad guys have had to ditch along the way.
I also think we live longer (or maybe its because were boring that we only think we live longer)
@Here. I am going the take your advice and play naughts and crosses with the bosses secretary - she gets real cross when you stick it in her naught!

cheers all !