An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: 'Hoshimota! Hoshimota!' He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but 'HOSHIMOTA!' Concerned, his partner turns to him 'What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.' Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?' Man: 'What sins?' Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?' Man: 'I'm Jewish.' Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?' Man: 'I'm telling everybody.'

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball........stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake. 'What did you do?' asks the doctor. Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'

A man came home from work one day to find his wife standing nude in front of a full length mirror. He said 'What the hell are you doing?' The wife said 'I saw my doctor today and he told me I had the breasts of a twenty year old.' 'Oh yeah,' snarled her husband. 'What'd he say about your forty year old ass?' The wife replied 'Actually, your name never came up.'

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, 'You should be hung!' To which he calmly replied, 'I am. That's why she cuts the grass!'

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down the road one day. Her boyfriend suggests that they play road games and that whoever loses has to strip. They play every game known to man and the girl loses every time. Soon she is bare naked. The boy takes a long look and runs off the road. They slide into a tree and the boy is trapped in the car. He yells to his girlfriend, ''Quick, go get help!'' She says, ''I can't, I'm naked.'' He hands her a shoe to cover with. Desperately she covers her ''lower parts'' and runs to the road. She flags down a truck driver and yells, ''Help me, my boyfriend is stuck.'' The truck driver looks down at the shoe and replies,''Honey, if he's that far in, I think he may be gone for good''

Q - What is the difference between the G-spot and a golfball?
A - A man will spend 10 minutes looking for a golfball.

Do you know what Blonde Paint is? It's a type of paint that's not very bright, cheap and spreads easy.

Q: Do you know the difference between a strip tease artist and an acrobatical dancer? A: An acrobatical dancer is a cunning stunt....

Wat's die verskil tussen 'n goeie sekretaresse en 'n BAIE goeie sekretaresse?
'n Goeie sekretaresse sê: 'Goeie môre, Meneer!'
'n Baie goeie sekretaresse sê: 'Goeiste, Meneer, dis al môre!'
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Vrou gaan sien 'n priester na haar 9de baba.
'Ek weet nie hoekom word ek so gou swanger nie. Dit moet iets in die lug wees!'
'Ja', sê die priester: '... dis jou bene.'
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Oom wat verkeersman was , kry Alzheimer en gaan ouetehuis toe.
Daar reël hy die verkeer van rystoele en looprame in die gange.
Een oggend vergeet hy om sy broek aan te trek, hy stop 'n tannie in die rystoel.
Toe sy voor hom stop kyk sy so in Meneer vas: 'Ag Vader, moet ons nou vanmore nog in die pypie blaas ook!'
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'Dokter, ek het infeksie!'
'Mevrou, hoeveel keer het jy seks?'
'So een keer 'n maand.'
'Mevrou, dit is nie infeksie nie, dis ROES.'
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Seuntjie vra sy ma: 'As binne egtelike kinders deur die ooievaar gebring word, waar kom buite egtelike kinders vandaan?'
Ma antwoord: 'Rondloper voëls!!!!!!!!!!!'
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Seuntjie aan ma: 'Ek wil graag 'n boetie hê vir Kersfees!'
Ma: 'Daar is te min tyd daarvoor my kind.'
Seuntjie: 'Maak dan soos Pappa en sit meer manne op die job!!!!!'