Let's smile- A hooker was at docs. Congrats ur pregnant, do u know who the dad is? Hooker replies, if u ate a tin of baked beans would u know which 1 made u fart.

A depressed woman goes to a hypnotherapist and returns confident and feeling hot an sexy.
She tells her husband that she feels great but that his performance has also not been up to standard lately. She suggests that he should also go and see the hypnotherapist .

After 1 session he returns and tells her that he is ready for looooove.

She jumps into bed and he goes to the bathroom. He returns 3 minutes later.

After making love she says, whaaooo that was amazing, absolutely fantastic.
He says, just wait Ill be back just now.

He gets up, goes to the bathroom and when he returns 3 minutes later, the whole session repeats.
She says, whaaaaaaaooo that was even more amazing, absolutely fantastic, the best sex I ever had.
He says, just wait Ill be back just now.

He gets up, goes to the bathroom and when he returns 3 minutes later, the whole session repeats.
She says, whaaaaaaaooo whaaaaaaaooo … that was even more amazing, absolutely fantastic, the best sex I ever had.
He says, just wait Ill be back just now.

This time she decides to follow him and find out what he is doing in the bathroom.
She opens the door a little and peeks through.

He is standing in front of the mirror staring himself in the eyes.
She’s not my wife, She’s not my wife, She’s not my wife, She’s not my wife……..

WARNING: Wives don’t enjoy this joke.