Life, as we live it, is the result of choices that we make. Good ones, bad ones, embarrassing ones, funny ones, they all add up to one thing :

Our lives.

The only problem with that is the fact that you first have to make a choice, and then the result of that choice will manifest itself after the choice is made.

Hindsight is perfect sight. If we could go back and remake those choices after we saw the result, then life could have been better ? But we are not blessed with that gift.

That is why it is a very good life philosophy to first of all think what the result of a particular choice will be.

Some choices have little impact on your life, the choice of a certain shirt will make a minimal impact on your life. The choice of wearing your expensive watch as oppose to nothing might save your life. In South Africa.

The choice of words that leaves your mouth. They usually end up having the most impact on other people.

For it is not always the words that are spoken, but the perception of the words that you hear from another's mouth. You might think that you are saying one thing, while in reality the person standing in ront of you will hear a commpletely different version and perceive it in a totally different context than what you meant.

Mostly to their detriment, as we all have a little negative side in us, and the slightest wrong will just trigger that.

Be careful of what you say. Make sure that the words you are using are the correct ones. The tone of voice appropriate.

Think before you talk. The choice is yours. The impact is sometimes much greater than what you think.

Cheers

INL,

I really like your post. I try to always remind myself to be kind with my words and my actions before I actually voice or act out on them. I don't always succeed, and at times I want to seriously kick my own ass for not thinking things through properly before I act on them.

But I try to ask myself "How would I feel if those words were spoken to me?" "Or, how would I feel if I was treated the way I was going to treat someone?"

But as individuals we don't always perceive things in the same context as what they were written in or acted upon. People are usually in a different space, emotionally or mentally and that affects how we read and take in someone else's response, comments or acts.

Then I decide to say how I feel or choose to not respond or act. Because Silence in itself is also a response. By not acknowleding some thing that is not appropriate or valid in my life. I am not giving validation to something that I perceive is petty or simply insignificant in the greater scheme of things. Sometimes there is more important things to concern oneself with and the rest is just small stuff.

Arz

Very smart, thought provoking and integrity-filled posts from both of you.

Thank you for sharing this. Definitely my inspiration for today, and after!

XXX
Clau

Good piece INL! What you said rings very true to me. Being a analytical/over-thinker myself, choices are sometimes so hard, because of all you mentioned, you end up not choosing... but... not choosing is also choosing... here we go again ;-)

Thank you INL! This was the best way to start my day x

Unfortunately i dont always think things through...... Run in head first, mostly to my own detriment and heart ache. Like INL said, hind sight is the best sight! Must just put on our big boy panties and take it like a man. And hopefully learn the lesson before we go do the same stupid thing again......

Big Boss INL, mostly true, especially about choosing ones words wisely. And quite true that sometimes ones words tend to get lost in translation. We see it here often on this very forum, and even when I wasn't even speaking Africaans.

Which may bring me to one bit one could add to your reflections - One could choose to shut the fuck up and try and understand what the other person is saying, or trying to say. Work on that skill called "comprehension". And that skill called listening as opposed to simply hearing.

Sometimes I tell a person "You musnt push" and they hear something different. Especially on the cape flats.


Any ways boss, this part of yours I disagree with:
".... the choice of a certain shirt will make a minimal impact on your life...."

Boss I have to disagree with this statement. The choice of shirts a man wears makes a HUGE difference in your life!

On 2018-03-07 22:42:49 INL said:


Think before you talk. The choice is yours. The impact is sometimes much greater than what you think.

I tend to think too much...before I talk. The result is that I get stuck in the thinking part....never getting to the talking part. And then when I eventually get a few words out I think to myself "Fuck dude!!! Is that it?? That the best you could come up with?" All of this basically just makes me more quiet.

A lot of insight and thought provoking comments

@INL

What a great choice to write about choice we make and not just how it influence our own lives, but those around us also.

Thanks for another great piece of writing.