What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use some lubricant.

Lol. Good one

The difference between having guts and having balls. Guts is coming home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" Balls is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say," You're next."

Good one Michelle

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, "Hello class I am Mrs Prussy. Remember it has a "r" after the first letter. The entire class says Hello Mrs Prussy. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when little Johnny gets to his desk. The teacher asks what her name is? Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher. "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter." "That's right" she says. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says,"Mrs Crunt".

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, "Hello class I am Mrs Prussy. Remember it has a "r" after the first letter. The entire class says Hello Mrs Prussy. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when little Johnny gets to his desk. The teacher asks what her name is? Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher. "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter." "That's right" she says. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says,"Mrs Crunt".

@Carailho & Monika. My pleasure. Found some great jokes and thought I would share them with you all. We could all do with some humour to ease the stresses of daily life. Will follow with lots more.

A mans occupation is to stick his coqulation up a woman's ventilation to increase the population of the younger generation. If you want a demonstration, please lie down.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss

What is better than a rose on your piano? Tulips on your organ.