How do I begin. Me a mature man had friendship with a young 29yr old beautiful black lady. With benefits obviously. But we both realised nothing serious can develop between us. And we fell in love. Due to the distance Pretoria - Randburg/Soweto I could not see her often. When we meet we book a hotel twice a month. It was fantastic. She always joined me on work trips whenever possible. It was just so nice...
I really helped her in becoming a lady with a career. See now had a permanent job, bought a old but nice car, extent the house in township. All my financial support was what I offered. she NEVER asked money. I feel proud the way guided her and not regret spending plenty of moola on her.
Durban, Cape Town, Sun City. All the dreams.

Our last night together was 13 July 2017 in a hotel in Sandton. A week later I phoned her to join me on a trip to the Lowveld for one day. I could not get hold of her and on the day I left I got hold of her. She was in hospital. I asked her what's wrong. Her response: "Eish Dude.I had stomach cramps and vomiting since yesterday". I then said I will phone her when I come back that afternoon to find out what hospital and if she is still in hospital. You could hear she is not well.
Since that afternoon both her cellphones were off. It happened in the past that we don't speak for a week. So i just tried to phone every few days. But nothing.
Then I received a google message from a friend of her. I know her name because she told me about Ph*****. Telling me that my girlfriend passed on. I could not believe it. Only when I saw the status update on FB I realised its true. That's my sad story.
But what I need help with is
1. How can I pretend at home nothing is wrong whilst I want to sit and cry. (I loved her and I am a crying baby with emotional issues).
2. I can pretend it was a colleague at work but surely I can't be too sad.
3. I sill have no idea what happened. It kills me. Which hospital?
4. Since I received google message I phoned more than 20 times, but the friend's phone is off all the time. I messaged also about 20 google and ordinary messages. No response.
5. I have no idea when is funeral - probably Saturday but where. And even if I know how will it look if I am there.
6. I want to give her poor mom money for the funeral and flowers for the ceremony.

But my hands are tied.
It is killing me.
I have only ESA friends that I can tell because nobody of my friends knows about it.

So sorry for your loss, ILWIS. My deepest sympathy. It is not easy having a secret Lover. I pray you will find the answers you are looking for. Be strong,my Purple Site friend.

So sorry for your loss. You are in a terrible situation and I really feel for you that you can't openly share your grief and make your sadness known. Best wishes and stay strong...Syren ...x

I know the pain of losing a secret love. MHSRIP.

So sorry for your loss.

No words can make a passing of a loved one easy to understand.....

But Cherish all of your wonderful memories....They will bring you peace.

I am very sorry for your loss sir. It is not easy I know. Sent you a PM.

Oh wow!
I'm truly sorry what you been going through.
All advice is... keep the memories in your heart.
If you want to cry don't do it at home or do this behind closed doors.
Remember she was meant to cross your path...
A reason a season a period and a lifetime...that's how everyone who cross your path will be part of your life.
All I know... people from my past has been there to learn from.

Perhaps this was a way to show you that love shouldn't be taken for granted.

This was really a touching tale to tell

Be strong and take it oneday at a time.

Thanks for sharing.

If it's any consolation I think she must have loved you a lot more than you know as she never tried to make you commit or demand more financial benefits from you.
She respected your boundaries .

Guess it's sort of similar for many of the girls here on the site.
You get to meet a regular and develop a friendship relationship etc and then suddenly they just disappear.
You don't know if they have emigrated, died or just given up punting.

That's the tough part ...
Not knowing.

Am sorry papi....

If some how you do find out where the funeral or memorial will be held,do go...

Don't worry about how it will look,you need the closure...

No body would ask you to leave a funeral,if you need a friend to accompany you,I would gladly go with you..

Take heart,may angels comfort you..


Hugs hugs hugs