I'm not sure why I'm writing this.

Perhaps it's a need for validation - someone to tell me that what I'm consisting is ok.
Perhaps it's a need for catharsis - that by putting my felons in black and white will somehow help me feel better or give me clarity.
Perhaps I'm just curious - to see what will come from just putting this out there to an anonymous, (sometimes) non-judgemental community.

I know my circumstance is quite common and there have been many similar threads before, but nonetheless, here goes.

I've been married for 14 years. Have a lovely wife, 2 beautiful children, a nice home, little debt and a decent job - 95% happy.

The missing 5%? Possibly boredom, possibly sexual frustration.

My wife has always enjoyed sex (or she fakes it bloody well but has never had any desire for even minor experimentation. So far this year, I think she and I have been intimate twice. By my calculations that's 40 mins (lol) out of a possible 318, 240 or 0.013%.
If that doesn't qualify for honorary membership of the SSS Society, then I don't know what does! :D

No doubt, I could do better on the romance front. I'm no Don Quixote. I've given my share of dinners, flowers, complements, back rubs and subtle innuendos. I've tried discussing the matter, which only lead to defensiveness and fighting and I feel that giving more would open me up to rejection.

In the Bill Clinton definition of sexual relations, I've been a good boy. A few close encounters and a few massages.

So, the question is, how long do I keep denying human desires? After all 95% is pretty damned good! Where to from here?

Think about it will u take the change of losing 95% of happiness for a 5 % happiness

Your problem does sound common. And I once came across a saying that goes like "If you do nothing, nothing will happen". The 5% is something that makes you sound unhappy. So unhappy that it keeps you awake at night. Hope you didn't take the phone to the loo to write this thread. Cause if you doing that, it will start going through as if you are cheating.

Your thread sounds like you are not punting yet, you actually want validation of whether it's ok to punt under your stated circumstances. From me it's a YES.Punting is better than having a side chick.

1. No worries about the ladies catching feelings.

2. You don't have to worry about spending time with them.

3. You don't have to remember her birthday, anniversaries of when you first met, first kiss, her grandmothers birthday or her cats name.

4.you don't have to worry about bumping onto her at a mall whilst you are with your family.

5. No possibility of mistakenly empregnating the girls.

There list can go on like forever.

Solution is stop at a taxi rank and there are usually chicks who are selling registered SIM cards. Get one for the purposes of making calls to your intended host.-Don't leave it to chance cause there has been cases of girls sending specials to punters.

If you are going to buy a phone with it, make sure it's always off and remove battery when ever you not out punting. These cheap buggers make a lot of noise when they start to ring/vibrate. And they usually come with malfunctioning alarms and demo ring tones that tend to go off unpredictably.

Join a gym for the purposes of having a toiletry bag in the car. This is for the purposes of using the same products you having at the house so that you don't smell fresh with product scents not known as it will arouse feelings of you snooping around.

If you are going to use your boys as an excuse when going out, it's best you start hosting them at your house every now and then so there are no issues as to why you are the only one that seems to visit them.

Lastly dont expose yourself to risky situations. Always play safe.

Happy punting

On 2017-08-10 03:38:22 Rider said:
Think about it will u take the change of losing 95% of happiness for a 5 % happiness

@Rider - Can I not have the 95% and the other 5%?
Is wanting that being greedy?

@Roshta - thanks for the tips. I would certainly take all measures to be safe in every respect.

If that 5% bothers you so much, is it really just 5%? Nobody's life happiness is ever 100%. And I agree with Ryder....in the pursuit of the 5% how much of the 95% will be left afterwards?

On 2017-08-10 03:38:22 Rider said:
Think about it will u take the change of losing 95% of happiness for a 5 % happiness

I have to be with Ryder on this one. Stick to what you have. Don't get involve in this lifestyle. It will change that 5% you don't have to a lot more

On 2017-08-10 05:54:01 Bbw Nadia said:
If that 5% bothers you so much, is it really just 5%? Nobody's life happiness is ever 100%. And I agree with Ryder....in the pursuit of the 5% how much of the 95% will be left afterwards?

Nadia - I always appreciate your comments on the forum.
Honest question - How happy do you think you could be without sex?

Maslows Hierarchy of needs. That 5% will continue to consume your mind body and soul until you get it fulfilled. Its only human nature dude.

But please be strategic in going about fullfilling that troublesome 5% ...

The obvious risks are getting caught or catching an STD. I think both of those can be mitigated through caution.

The less obvious risk is increasing the unhappiness as a result of deceit and guilt.

"I've tried discussing the matter, which only lead to defensiveness and fighting and I feel that giving more would open me up to rejection."

"The less obvious risk is increasing the unhappiness as a result of deceit and guilt."

Perhaps to comment adequately, you need to give her response to the discussion about your lack of sex life in a little more detail.

You already seem to feel rejected, and it is not just at a physical level. That you think you would feel guilt seems to indicate that some part of you feels that you have not exhausted all means to correct the situation within your marriage. If you embark on punting under these circumstances, you can be sure that you will be 'caught' at (at the very least) a subconscious level by your wife.

You are angry at a repressed level, and you have a right to feel that way. But couples who have been together for the length of time that you have do not have true secrets from each other; merely secrets that are not consciously acknowledged. The fact that she has not responded to your 'close calls' at some level is the spur for you to take it further.

When you can say that you are punting for you, and not because you are expressing anger with your wife, is when you are ready to punt. You don't seem to be at that point yet, IMHO.

Instead of seeing an escort, take her to see a therapist together. If after that, you as a couple can't resolve the imbalance in your marriage's sex life, go ahead and punt without any guilt. You've done everything possible. Don't punt as a means of expressing your anger. That will just lead to more problems.