Posted: 2006-10-31 22:49:32
Ladies my name is Arnold and I am the answer to your wildest dreams.
When you see me you will see I'm clearly a man of substance, character, and grace. I pride myself on my style, strikingly good looks, and obviously my hair. I do not have a problem meeting woman, because I'll bang anything that moves. There have been many days where I have awakened next to a snoring, sweaty, hippo. There have also been many days where I think that had I not taken that last shop of tequila, I wouldn't have a need to go to the free clinic. I have one minor physical problem that I am hoping you will overlook. I fart in my sleep, the last thing I need is for someone running out of the bedroom screaming at 3 am. It isn't fair to me or the neighbors. I'll hold it in all day for you ladies, but when the sandman comes, I start sand-blasting. You know you want me.
Like most woman, you are probably reeling over the intense animal passion that you are feeling for me right now, but relax, I don't bite or do I? I have to warn you that I am not looking for a deep relationship. If you talk a lot, I'm not your man. If you have a lot of body hair, keep on walking. If you weren't born a woman, I can deal with it, but you better hide it well. I don't think my mom would be too keen on me bringing home any more pre-op transvestites. I'm typically into women that are hotter, but for the time being, you'll do just fine.
Let me tell you what an evening with me is like. First, you will come over to my humble flat where I will pretend to be getting out of the shower. You can sit in my living/dining room and listen to my Billy Ocean record while sipping on the finest boxed wine. Once I am ready, I will show you my collection of commemorative plates, and we will head on down to the Quick shop pick up a few a bag of chips & 2l coke. We can then go back to my place and I can show you my bedroom, or as I like to refer it, "the place where the magic happens".
Drop me a line darling. You won't be disappointed.
Arnold