Guy: Did It Hurt? Chick: Did What Hurt? Guy: When you fell from… Chick: Heaven Awww :’) Guy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down!! Chick: ………. Guy: Hahaha BITCH!!

My three easy steps to shut a man up in bed without sex. Step1:You tell him your gonna try something new. Step2.You hand cuff him to the bed frame. Step3.Duct tape his mouth shut and roll over to get a good nights sleep for once. It Solves Complaining,snoring and the complaints about it being That time of the month again

A GIRL Puts Her Fingers Near HOTEL MANAGER’S Lips. MANAGER Kisses n sucks Each Finger , , GIRL: Tell Ur BOSS There Is No Tissue Paper In ur TOILET…

Don't make fun of a fat guy with a lisp. He's probably thick and thired of it.

Question: Hypothetically speaking, if a dude's name was somethin like, Vincent Jerome Jackson, would his nickname be Va'jayjay??

I bet all the other animals in theanimal kingdom hate dogs because they get credit for the most popular sexual position ever!

High heels and credit cards: The only time a woman is satisfied with 3.5 inches.

1. Thous shalt not kill. That’s Chuck Norris’s job. 2. You might say that Chuck Norris is a no-talent, redneck hack. But he only might let you live to regret it. 3. Say what you want about Chuck Norris. Just know that he’s listening. 4. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a bullet-proof vest. His chest hair puts Kevlar to shame. 5. Chuck Norris supports your right to bear arms…until he rips them from your torso. 6. Chuck Norris once killed a Head-On ad exec with a roundhouse kick applied directly to the forehead. 7. The CN Tower is the tallest building in the world. With those initials, is it any wonder? 8. Chuck Norris nobly defends the right of all men to die by a roundhouse kick to the face. 9. Chuck Norris loves America. Its women especially. 10. Chuck Norris may not have brought you into this world but he’ll take you out of it. With a roundhouse kick to the face. Also, he did bring you into this world…by banging your mom. 11. When only an infant, Chuck Norris was discovered in the wilds of Yellowstone. The wolves are only now beginning to recover their numbers. 12. Chuck Norris once spent the night in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House. He wasn’t invited but he was tired and who was going to stop him? 13. Chuck Norris does not covet his neighbors wife. he’s done with her. 14. I believe the children are our future…and that Chuck Norris fathered them all.

Cape Flats Coloured, a Bellville Whitey and a Durban Indian are in a restaurant. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He looks so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Coloured twigs:"My God, it's Jesus!" Sure enough, it is Jesus . Thrilled, they club in and send him over the best chow on the menu. Jesus accepts the food, smiles over at the three men, and starts eating. After he's finished eating, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Durban Indian and shakes it, thanking him for the food. When he lets go, the Indian gives a cry of amazement: My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!" Jesus then also shakes the White`s hand, thanking him . As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. "Its true mate!!, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone. It's a miracle!" Jesus then approaches the Coloured who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. "What's wrong?" asks Jesus. The Coloured shouts, "Jy raakie aan my nie, I'm on disability!!!

Colourd jokes, gota love em, no one tell a good joke like em. 1.Jou bek stink so sleg die dentist sit jou op a “toothpaste drip” 2. Julle huis is so klein julle ingeboude kaste stan buite. 3. Jy is so kort jy loop hande in die boots. 4. Jo tanne is so geel jy spoog botter 5. Julle fridge is so gevaarlik as jy dit oopmaak dan gryp die fishfingers jou anie nek 6. Jy is soo skeel, jou een oog kyk die ander oog in die oog... 7. Jy is op All Pay dag geboore hulle roep jou somer Grant 8. Jou hare is so kroes as jy dit in die oggend borsel dan vra jou ouma : Wie skrop so vroeg tekkies? 9. Julle bly in n boom huis, julle nomer is tree to tree 10. Jy is so kort, as jy poep is jou gevriet vol stof.=)) If u smiled pass this on an spread it!