Today I woke up to a
whatsup status on a contact's profile stating he had died and an alternative number to contact the family.

This is not the first time I have found out a client/friend passed via social media. It sucks it shocks you to the core, it leaves you numb and unbelievably sad.

I spoke to this person shortly before his death, we where friends, he was depressed and converted that to anger and lashing out at the world. I haven't seen him in over 2 years almost 3. But we have never lost contact.

His son passed away a little over a year ago. Sweetest kid. God wanted his Angel home. The passing of his son has ripped his family to pieces and left him a hollow man. Since then he just spirraled deeper into depression. Deeper into anger and deeper into the bottle.

Many a chat with him was just keeping him positive and reminding him he still has the rest of his family that needs him and loves him. And that his son would hate to see him living the way he does now. Sad, mad and out of control.

The last conversation was exactly the same...;( Still remember me thinking by myself he really needs help to deal with all this. But he is a typical macho Afrikaner guy that won't ever go see a psychiatrist or therapists, I have tried suggesting that for over a year and was told by him that he don't need a kwack to doctor him.

I read this status this morning and looked at the date that this status mentioned as the date he passed away and looked at our last conversation we had and the last message we exchanged, 3 and half hours before the end of that day.

Him saying "My rooikop bokka Ek Gaan Nou Rus" I get chills thinking about that last text. Not realising that would be the last goodbye.:(

I keep wondering why he is dead.. an accident?, a heart attack/natural causes?, suicide? murder? Any one of it may be possible. The state he was in emotionally and mentally could have lead to any of the above. But I got this sinking feeling it was death by his own hand;( As he so many times mentioned making a end to it all.

The status does not reveal that info. And I can't very well ask the family on the alternative number, what would I say or how would I explain knowing him. I even blocked his number after reading that status as I don't want the family to maybe whatsup and ask questions about who I am and how I know him.

I am sad today. For him and for his family.

I am sad for the whole world. That deals with losses, pain and depression.

I am sad for me and every other SP that finds out a person that we cared about and yes we do care, has passed.

We are part of their lives. Confidants, friends, lovers, we are often closer and know more about the real person behind the mask that the world sees, than any of their friends or family.

Even in death we are secret piece of their lives that must remain unseen and unknown to the world.

I know life was hard for you this past year and I know you will be up there reunited with your son that you have so longed to see.

I can hear you both laughing like the day you came to fix my car, being all silly about it only needing a push ;) I will miss our random chats and silly jokes and I will miss being called " my rooikop bokka"

Rus in vrede my Mal Kop Troepie.xxx
One day I hope to meet you again in place without sadness and pain;)

xxx
L

# I apologize if this was a bit depressing to read.. but I needed to put this out there..;)

We ladies do care about our clients/friends sometimes a lot more than we should.

If I have never told you I appreciate you I am sorry for not taking the time to do so... Please know I do appreciate every single one of you. I think we do not tell people often enough that we care for them.

That is the hardest part for a wg, you do become friends with regulars, you build a connection and trust.Saddest is you can't say goodbye :(
Sends you a hug, cos right now you need one

On 2021-09-28 14:28:38 Mistress Kattza said:
That is the hardest part for a wg, you do become friends with regulars, you build a connection and trust.Saddest is you can't say goodbye :(
Sends you a hug, cos right now you need one

Thank you for the hug xxx

I don't mind the not saying goodbye it is something that we know is part and parcel of this world. Although we all wish we could pay our last respects it is something that we learn to deal with in our own way.

I rather wish no one had to say goodbye ever;( Death is the only thing we promised the day we enter this world. Everything in between is a blessing, and we often forget to be grateful for blessings.

The not knowing why or how is what is bothering me now. The ,what if I just kept that conversation going a bit longer, would it have made a difference.

I know that trail of thought is not helping anyone, but I will always wonder.

We as humans have the power to make a difference and we might miss oppertunities to do just that because we focused on ourselfs and not whats happening around us.

Take time out and check up on friends, they might just need to know someone does care about them.

...xxx...

This for me is the saddest part of our business. We build up very intimate relationships and in most cases we will never know If they are seriously ill or have passed on or if something has happened in their lives. Most of the time we do not contact them first. I often worry about some. Are they ok? What has happened to him? What was his WhatsApp status all about? But I have to keep my distance.
Sorry, you have to go through this. We are not as unfeeling and all about the money as some guys seem to think. We do wonder what has happened to some of our regulars when they just disappear.

Very very true Nadia. I think there is a general misperception that SPs are cold hearted people that just play the game for the money. Yes it might be true in some cases . But most are genuine warm caring people that find it very hard not to develop some sort of connection to clients.

We do care and wonder and even worry of they just disappeared, especially long standing regular clients. We should not but we do. ;)

I could imagine some guys would feel exactly the same if a lady they visited regularly just disappear;)

I know one gentleman that till wishes one particular lady to return to this site ;)

She disappeared without forum announcements or messages to regulars.;)

He had heard rumours from other SPs that she got snatched up by another regular and is happily married. He is happy for her but still feels a bit snubbed that she did not share that joy with him, he thought they where friends and not just SP/Client. He mentions her atleast every second visit. ;)

As much as this is a fantasy world it does touch us on personal levels more often than we realise.

On 2021-09-28 12:57:57 Miss Red (aka Louise) said:
Today I woke up to a
whatsup status on a contact's profile stating he had died and an alternative number to contact the family.

This is not the first time I have found out a client/friend passed via social media. It sucks it shocks you to the core, it leaves you numb and unbelievably sad.

I spoke to this person shortly before his death, we where friends, he was depressed and converted that to anger and lashing out at the world. I haven't seen him in over 2 years almost 3. But we have never lost contact.

His son passed away a little over a year ago. Sweetest kid. God wanted his Angel home. The passing of his son has ripped his family to pieces and left him a hollow man. Since then he just spirraled deeper into depression. Deeper into anger and deeper into the bottle.

Many a chat with him was just keeping him positive and reminding him he still has the rest of his family that needs him and loves him. And that his son would hate to see him living the way he does now. Sad, mad and out of control.

The last conversation was exactly the same...;( Still remember me thinking by myself he really needs help to deal with all this. But he is a typical macho Afrikaner guy that won't ever go see a psychiatrist or therapists, I have tried suggesting that for over a year and was told by him that he don't need a kwack to doctor him.

I read this status this morning and looked at the date that this status mentioned as the date he passed away and looked at our last conversation we had and the last message we exchanged, 3 and half hours before the end of that day.

Him saying "My rooikop bokka Ek Gaan Nou Rus" I get chills thinking about that last text. Not realising that would be the last goodbye.:(

I keep wondering why he is dead.. an accident?, a heart attack/natural causes?, suicide? murder? Any one of it may be possible. The state he was in emotionally and mentally could have lead to any of the above. But I got this sinking feeling it was death by his own hand;( As he so many times mentioned making a end to it all.

The status does not reveal that info. And I can't very well ask the family on the alternative number, what would I say or how would I explain knowing him. I even blocked his number after reading that status as I don't want the family to maybe whatsup and ask questions about who I am and how I know him.

I am sad today. For him and for his family.

I am sad for the whole world. That deals with losses, pain and depression.

I am sad for me and every other SP that finds out a person that we cared about and yes we do care, has passed.

We are part of their lives. Confidants, friends, lovers, we are often closer and know more about the real person behind the mask that the world sees, than any of their friends or family.

Even in death we are secret piece of their lives that must remain unseen and unknown to the world.

I know life was hard for you this past year and I know you will be up there reunited with your son that you have so longed to see.

I can hear you both laughing like the day you came to fix my car, being all silly about it only needing a push ;) I will miss our random chats and silly jokes and I will miss being called " my rooikop bokka"

Rus in vrede my Mal Kop Troepie.xxx
One day I hope to meet you again in place without sadness and pain;)

xxx
L

# I apologize if this was a bit depressing to read.. but I needed to put this out there..;)

We ladies do care about our clients/friends sometimes a lot more than we should.

If I have never told you I appreciate you I am sorry for not taking the time to do so... Please know I do appreciate every single one of you. I think we do not tell people often enough that we care for them.

I Salute you Miss Red.
Thought provoking, we somehow/ sometimes take little things for granted.
Well articulated.
CB

@ CB.. thank you for taking the time to read and the compliment, very little thought about articulation went into it though. ... I just write when my heart is overflowing, it always helps.;)

@ RB.. xxx thank you.

I know the feeling hey,I lost one of my regular end of August he was killed few minutes after we video called.where he was telling me he was on his way home,then apparently he got hijacked and shot dead.i only find out after 3 days and ,when his mom told me and he was already cremated.he even had me in his journal,his mom was kind enough to send it to me.i still can't believe that his gone,I miss him every night when i can't sleep.he use to keep me accompanied every night:((may his soul rest in peace

I'm similar depressed turning to anger and No, God did not want his Angel back by his son dying.

That's just our way of trying to make it easier but the truth is we don't know why kids or babies die and never will so we have to make up stories to make it easier to handle

Life is harsh. And God isn't anywhere near what we'd like to believe