Guys and girls lets start a joke of the day forum tread that we can laugh it always makes the day more interesting
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: R1.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH : R2.50

HANDJOB: R10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "I am."

The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"

The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"

The priest says, "Do we have time?"

Q. What's the ultimate rejection?

A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q. Wat noem jy n' bosluis op n' hek in die kaap?

A. Hectic.

Bad dum tsss... Crickets chirping.

Are there any jokes from the girls

There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis."

The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"

A little girl walks into the local pet store. The owner of the store kneels down to her level and asks what can I do for you today ? She shyly smiles looking away with her hands behind her back. Nervously moving her feet. She answers with a lisp. Well thir, do you have widdle wabbits?

The girls answer warms the store owners heart.... He responds coping the cute girls lisp. Yeah I do have widdle wabbits? What could do you want I have widdle white wabbits, I have black and brown wabbits...

The little girl coily turns on one foot and puts her hands on her knees and comes closer to the store owner and whispers - 'well I don't fink my pet python really gives a thit'.

God bless the Irish!

The Irish never hesitate to come to the aid of their fellowman ... air passengers, in this case!

Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston , the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."

When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our 10 hour flight.

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."

Fred