On 2018-09-19 17:25:57 suzook said:
Yesterday I dropped my phone so hard, two of my contacts are in hospital.

LMAO

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

On 2018-09-20 17:06:13 uwillwantme said:
On 2018-09-19 17:25:57 suzook said: Yesterday I dropped my phone so hard, two of my contacts are in hospital.

LMAO

That is rather corny, but so funny at the same time uwillwantme!

Lady Sade

On 2018-09-20 17:08:33 uwillwantme said:
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Excellent! Lol!

A drunkard finally decides to quit drinking and starts emptying his cupboard where he stocks his bottles
He takes the 1st bottle and its empty - I lost my job because of you, and smashes it

He takes the 2nd bottle and its empty - I lost my wife because of you, and smashes it

He takes the 3rd bottle and its empty - I lost my car because of you, and smashes it

He takes the 4th bottle and its empty - I lost my house because of you, and smashes it

He takes the 5th bottle and sees it is full- You are not at fault darling, you have done nothing yet!!!!

On 2018-07-24 15:19:08 uwillwantme said:
Here goes :

A bear walks into a restaurant and say's "I want a grilllllled.............................................cheese." The waiter says "Whats with the pause?"

The bear replies "Whaddya mean, I'M A BEAR."

Lol..good one ..

On 2018-07-24 20:41:25 goonerboy_41 said:
Man marries a deaf girl... He writes to her : " we've got to figure out a code for sex, when I want to, I'll squeeze your left breast.... You reply by shaking my penis once for yes, or 50 times for no..."

Lol" a man with a plan :)

Annndddd.... "the shittiest joke on the forum to date" title goes to.... LovesToGetSpanked !!!!!

A kid goes up to his dad, "What does a vagina look like?"
His father says, "Son, before sex a vagina looks like a rose, with pink velvety petals, and the aroma of perfume."
The kid says, "What about after sex?"
His father says, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

If a midget tells you you hair smells nice............... it can be sexual harassment