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Miss Barbie Doll - Re: Jokes
Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-09-26 23:48:07

On 2018-09-26 23:23:47 uwillwantme said:
Interviewer : Do you have any prior experience of working with a team. If yes, of how many people?

Female Candidate : Yes, I was at the core and pivotal in a 11 member team activity.

Interviewer : That's great. What was the activity.

Female Candidate : GangBang




Hahaha she was a star
uwillwantme
uwillwantme - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-09-27 10:43:54

On 2018-09-26 10:46:07 Ms Paige said:
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. "Mother, where do babies come from?" The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex." The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?" "Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."



Hahahaaahaah
uwillwantme
uwillwantme - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-09-28 12:05:23

Boyfriend serenading the girl : I would do anything for love

Girl : Please stop going out with your friends on Friday nights.

Boy : But I won't do that


semensquirter
semensquirter - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 12:56:58

*The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm, when mating.Only 10%enters the female.
Ever wondered why the sea is so salty?

*Tension is when wife is pregnant.
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Horror is when both are pregnant.
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both.



J_69
J_69 - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 13:20:39

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
J_69
J_69 - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 13:23:24

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die.
They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so.
St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?"
The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..."
St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..."
"Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!"
Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"
J_69
J_69 - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 13:29:39

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
J_69
J_69 - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 13:33:54

A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack.
He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed.
An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge.
The patient mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Nurse replied, "I don't know Sir, I am just setting you clean"
The patient repeated again, "Are my testicles black?"
Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said "Sir everything should be OK"
The patient just kept on asking again and again, "Are my testicles black?"
Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much.
So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse's hand.
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, "Ma'am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?'"
semensquirter
semensquirter - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 14:16:44

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and hubby runs in.He sees a man leaping out of the window.
Wife yells:"That guy just fucked me twice.
Husband :"Twice? Why didn't you call me in during the FIRST Time?"
Wife Replies:"Because I thought it was you, until he started the second round
semensquirter
semensquirter - Re: Jokes
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Posted: 2018-10-03 14:18:55

Q:What is the difference between a Chicken and a Baby?
A: A Chicken is a result of a sitting hen, while a Baby is the result of a standing cock.

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