> Mother and her son were flying with kulula.com from Johannesburg to
> Durban.
>
> The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and
> asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why
> don't big planes have baby planes?'
>
> The mother (who couldn't think of a quick answer) told her son to ask
> the stewardess.
>
> So the boy asked the stewardess, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big
> cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'
>
> The stewardess smiled sweetly and asked, 'Did your mommy tell you to ask
> me?'
>
> The boy said, 'Yes she did.'
>
> 'Well, then, tell your mommy that there are no baby planes, because
> kulula.com always pulls out on time. And you can ask your mommy to
> explain that one to you!'

Muslim at The Pearly Gates*
>
>
>
> *A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.*
>
>
>
> *He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet
> Mohamed.*
>
> *Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.**
>
> **'Are you Mohamed?' he asks.**
>
> **'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohamed is higher up.*
>
> *And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
>
> Delighted that Mohamed should be higher than Peter.*
>
> *he climbs the ladder in great strides,*
>
> *climbs through the clouds coming to a room
> where he meets another bearded man.**
>
> He asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?*
>
> *'No, I am Moses. Mohamed is higher still.
>
> Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy.*
>
> *he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again,*
>
> *he discovers an even larger room*
>
> *where he meets another man with a beard.
>
> Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?*
>
> *'No, I am Jesus...You will find Mohamed higher up.
>
> Mohamed higher than Jesus!
> The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever
> higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room
> where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:**
>
> **'Are you Mohamed?' he gasps,*
>
> *as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.*
>
> *'No, my son...I am God. But you look exhausted.*
>
> Would you like a coffee?'
>
> * 'Yes, please, my Lord'
>
> God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:*
>
> *'Hey, Mohamed, two coffees!'**
>

PUTTING YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER


> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad
> news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order...'
> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
> waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
> 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
> when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have
> cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
> After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
> were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by
> some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
> celebrating.
> The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've
> been diagnosed with AIDS .'
> The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
> retreat.
>
> After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
> 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told
> your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
> 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after
> I'm gone.'
>
> And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'
>
>
>
> THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
> Women are like phones:
> They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
> But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected
>

The R200.00 and the 20c...

> A 20c coin met a R200.00 note and said ,
>
> ' Hey whatkind Outtie...... , where have you been....... I have'nt seen
> you around in a long time.'
>
> The R200.00 note answered ,
>
> 'Eish Guzzie , I been around....... Went to the Casino , Did News Cafe ,
> Went on a Cruise to Mozambique , just came back.Hitting Hillbrow
> tonight....Im doing the mall tomorrow..... You know how it vaais......
> Doing that kind of stuff.......
>
> How about You....... How's it cracking with you? Whats cutting ur
> Side?......'
>
>
> The 20c coin replied , 'Ekse Boss..... you know me ....... same old
> stuff......... TEMPLE TEMPLE TEMPLE !!!'
>

Keep it clean guys !

Avoid two kinds of jocularities :
1.) Religious
[Edit] otherwise we will get Hizbollah to sort you out with a suicide HUG.

2.) Racial

Disclaimer
(1) I, Bubu and Little Bubu, do not control the jokes types ie. racial, sexist, religious etc., we receive, so we post it here anyway.
Some of these jokes will offend some or most people... But we keep it fair... by posting jokes that wil offend EVERYBODY... Me and Little Bubu included.

Here is a few that i don't even like, but i post it anyway...
But why do i post it here?? Because It wil make somebody laugh... And thats the whole idea of this thread.
(2) This is only for people who have a sense of humour.
If you have lost your sense of humour, i don't have the time to help you look for it. ;-)

What Love means to a 4-8 year old .

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.

Touching words from the mouth of babes..


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to
8 year-olds,

'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined

See what you think:





'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8



'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4



'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5



'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6



'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4



'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7



'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and
Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8



'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)



'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend
who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)



'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7



'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6



'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked
at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling..

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8



'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6



'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5



'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7



'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4



'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4



'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little
stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7



'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6



'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8
And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

A German was on his first business trip to SA, and he decided to check out the local house of ill repute. He walked in and was assigned a young black chick with a body that got him 'up' immediately.

As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town. Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Xhosa, 'emngxunyeni orongo! emngxunyeni orongo!' He was sure that she was praising him
for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever.

Later, he went golfing with his SA business counterparts and a few important BEE clients. As the clients were Xhosa, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language.

When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted 'emngxunyeni orongo!'. All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, 'Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?'

> An airplane is flying over the United States at night.
>
> The pilot says: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and
>
> all the baggage must be thrown out.'
>
> A little later, the pilot says 'We're still losing altitude; we must
>
> throw anything out that is in the cabin'. The plane continues its
>
> descent despite more things being thrown out.
>
> Pilot: 'Still going down - we must throw out some people'.
>
> There's a big gasp from the passengers! Pilot: 'But to make this fair,
>
> passenger will be thrown out in alphabetical order.
>
> So... A... any Africans on board?' No one moves. 'B... any Blacks on
>
> board?'
>
> No one moves. 'C... any Coloureds on board?' Still, no one moves. 'D...
>
> any Darkies?' A little black boy - asks his dad:
>
> 'Dad...what are we? Dad: 'Tonight son, we are Zulus, Finish and klaar'

Brilliant Bubu.