A daughter asked her mother, "Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'?"
Her mom replied, "Honey, you should have asked me last night---it was on the tip of my tongue

On 2018-11-13 14:56:15 J_69 said:
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.

That is absolutely brilliant and really funny

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows beans," said one girl.
"My mother cooks beans," said a boy.
A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with very little memory. Just 1 byte and everything crashed.

This is the true story from a farmer from Weenen in KZN, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. He opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned SAPS, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

He said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the SAPS caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to the farmer, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

Farmer said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Glass: "Break me then it's 1 year bad luck for you"

Mirror: "That's nothing! Break me then you get 7 years back luck"

Condom: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

Funny shit:-)))

Satan visits Cape Town and meets Gatiep.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Nay", says Gatiep, "Gimmy a hint."
Satan says, "I am the prince of darkness."
"Jis," says Gatiep, "jhy's mos the CEO of Eskom!"

A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"
He replies, "No."
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again...!"

Husband: "Hahaha you think from watching all these cooking shows, you know how to cook, right?!!"

Wife: "Hahaha, you think from watching all them porn, you know how to fuck?!!!"