"...Sunday..always but always strong in its good word, praise, introspection when it comes to the ambiguity, the anomaly of all I live from day to day." - quoting myself.

And a thread that reared its sad head this week that touched on much that was milling around in my head since this past weekend.


www.esa.co.za/forum/thread.php


It was the statement made by a true gentleman, a sweet considerate man, his surprise and admission to being superficial and never thinking to put thought to the following....

He said he had met some of the best ladies , emphasis on the word LADIES, in the sensual space...

BUT

When looking at their photos, and on making an appointment, never ever thought further than that lady being a service provider.

It never crossed his mind to think she may have health issues such as blood pressure concerns or be suffering from depression or in need of some kindness. To imagine what she was doing was no different from any job or service provided and that it came with a "normal" life of children and home and social relations and responsibilities and duties, wisdom and even university education....the need for privacy and discretion FOR THE SERVICE PROVIDER TOO.

All he saw , he said, was this image of a sexy appealing body that captured his imagination and his needs needing to be fulfilled.

The humanness of the SP never crossed his mind...until we started our conversations.


I suppose the detachment from the "human" and the focus on the "job" paid for, features higher?...that fantasy of having a service provider in a way one may never imagine possible in "real" life?....being able to be with anybody one chooses that would be out of reach in ones own life?... no attachment or responsibility?...

It got me to thinking that it would be unfair to expect the punter to be concerned and "thoughtful" about the reality of a service providers life.

After all one is not looking to create a relationship or form one any deeper than the pleasures of the flesh?...imagine the fantasy being marred by all this "care" and "thoughtfulness" one hopefully applies to life in general.

The problem being that the most intimate, the self , that which usually remains guarded and under "lock and key" is now given, at a price , to any Tom and Harry and ....Dick.

How possible is it to keep the humanness and humaneness in this adult world?

VERY POSSIBLE.

Enjoy the fantasy...enjoy the ride.

But remember that thing I always refer to..."honour among thieves "

Plus...



Many a service provider loves her job and trying to shame her, think less of her only speaks to the naivety of the assumptions made and a mind unable to see outside the bubble they themselves live in.

And then the ego trip....a "patriarchal society" rearing its ugly head ,demeaning and insulting, abusive in word rather than deed....that mental abuse.

As to emotions.

Well. That one is a topic on its own.

RB.

Dear RB, what an amazing and thought provoking post.
I think in it you have touched on the core of this fascinating Purple World.
In an an encounter, both sides initially risk a gamble on a favourable outcome based on very little 'knowns' - although the lady is at the disadvantage here by virtue of her detailed and illustrated profile.
Then comes the challenge of disclosure - what and how much of one's self to reveal, while clothing is discarded.
A punter may opt to use ESA simply as an anonymous means to get his rocks off and run; and to see the SP as merely WYSIWYG. Was that after all not ESAs orginal intended purpose?!
But for some, that requires a deliberate distortion of their inner values, leading to the reflections and admissions you describe above.
It's complicated! And highly personal!!
And both parties must live with themelves when the timer rings and after the door has closed. Ambiguity... anomaly...

In any event... I hope I will number among the more considerate punters going forward.

You, my dear JoJo52 are one among many i have had the privilege of in this naughty space that has revealed of themself in the most trusting of ways.

A huge compliment to me and makes it that much easier to not care to reveal myself too... like me or not for, i know not to be anything else and, in that reveal of self, to honour and respect your choice of spending time with me.

All in the hope I leave an impression , both as person and service provider, that warrants many a repeat visit.


And thus to add this quote.


"...Sexual integrity means honestly recognizing our own impulses and desires and honoring them, whether or not we choose to act on them. If we value integrity, we must also value diversity in sexual expression and orientation, recognizing that there is no one truth, or one way, that fits everyone.Sexuality is sacred because through it we make a connection with another self - but it is misused and perverted when it becomes an arena of power-over, a means of treating another - or oneself - as an object."

- Starhawk


RB.

There are times I read the forum and wonder to myself...

Is it possible that many find it difficult to understand that the end all and be all is not the purple world?

Greetings Sunday....greetings beautiful people of this fine purple space and...earth.

To imagine one is not religious or spiritual or educated or qualified or experienced and has ones head firmly planted on ones shoulders, to me, is very telling of the short sightedness of those that cannot understand the "cloak and dagger" of the adult world required, running parallel with much else that broader society, of which SP and Punter , are part of, is a reality.

Sensual creatures, sexual creatures we are. Choices made many shall have an opinion on but, makes us no less that which we are.

To be educated, of unwavering faith, successful and prosperous and I could add many more positive descriptive words applicable to any human being is no less a reality of a "sex worker" .

Because society, rightly or not , an argument in its own right, deems it taboo, is one thing .

Knowing who one is no matter the non believers is our own cross to bear and not only in the purple world but, life in general, like any other human being in any position or designation held.

Blessed be all and never to forget a label is just that.

What one can do with that label and more....is ours to own and conquer.

RB.

And being Woman's Day yesterday....


"...is my purpose to emasculate u in my desire to be recognised and acknowledged as your equal? In my subconscious struggle to be your equal have i forgotten myself and managed to get so carried away that u fear my harshness of tongue and behaviour for, i will fight u tooth and nail to show u who is the more capable of our two sexes?

Will i make u step back in astonishment... for my vehemence bears no witness of the woman that stands before u?

There be no desire of your gentle caring way toward me? Your understanding and treatment of me as the 'weaker of the two sexes' knows to patronise my common sense and abilities?

Am i really that forward and confrontational in my desire, simply to have my seat in a place rightfully mine, alongside u?
The patriarchal control of all things in workspace and otherwise?

I think not...for being your equal, i know i am.

And even though patriarchal be the behaviour in a workspace and otherwise, my womanly natural ways have known to win your admiration, and support, and welcome... to not only be your equal but, even your lead in so many areas of life.

My firm nurturing way has stood me well in challenging moments and, in standing my ground, without a harsh word or desire to emasculate u, i have won.
Yes.

Do open the door for me and pull my chair out at board meetings, and at home, u shall be my king for i am your queen and our palace knows be passionate and dynamic ...at times at loggerheads...but, mostly serene in the understanding of each other and who we are and what we mean to our common household.

No.

i wish not to emasculate...i wish to empower u with my support of the man u are and in return i want your love and support of the woman i am..."

RB.

Always love Your poetic sayings Russian. So passionately done can feel your energy from it oh lady with beautiful words and sayings. Hypocrisy so crappy feel like letting the hulk or the bad side of me out on the person or persons practicing that nonsense.

Most dear kingkk

Thank you for this..."So passionately done can feel your energy from it oh lady with beautiful words and sayings."

I do disclose myself in all I write, say or do and am at the mercy to not only be acknowledged as well as criticized too.

A scary thing it is but, the love of writing transcends the fear of criticism.

As to hypocrisy....many a time I catch myself wondering...
"Am I above it at all times?"

Kiss you fondly.

Once again...Thank YOU.

RB.

GROW

My philosophy has always been to tread carefully and lightly. With time to cast that fishing line and see what one may reel in. The will to see and look and hear and listen. The will to absorb, take note and remember.
The desire to grow, adapt and learn. Wisdom never ours complete. For to be wise one is on a road ever learning. And those the profess they know enough and need not know more....well....what a sad existence.
Through many challenges, accolades and acknowledgements, spaces occupied or, rather pushed in involuntarily, many times a God sent, an awakening, a jolting of ones senses, putting one back on track....and even stoking those embers in a flame burning brighter and stronger.
No space is too small and insignificant, no person less worthy of consideration and acknowledgement, no laugh or tear should be easily forgotten...experience, the wealth to future growth and prosperity and contentment of self.
Growth...it is happening quicker than my mind or physical form can keep up with or understand.
The Universe is mine as is anything i wish!
So i see it and nobody can take it away from me.

Someone told me long long time ago and i just happened to read it on a young mans post on a social site....

"...Growth is painful, change is painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere where you don't belong."

Take courage and free yourself of disbelief and those that say you are no better than that which they define themselves by....you are an individual...and have great potential to be as big as your dreams.

GROW!!

RB.

GOOD PEOPLE...?

How often we find that good people are so deep, deeep in disguise that we miss them. They come in all shapes, sizes and form....colour, creed or gender no specification, except, ever present in their integrity and honourable conduct.

And should their behaviour and comments be taken as one critical of others, this would only be because those on the receiving end, realise in themselves, their capability of being a better person, and thus feeling guilty of recognising oneself short of something better, which may be inherant in ones character.

I am of the opinion, if a good person goes undetected or is used as a punching bag then one needs to question the character of those that are unable to identify a person good. Those that thrive on being stupid , a bully...even worse,is a social site bully where their identity is hidden.
Cowards of the worst kind. and even worse are those weak of character that jump onto the bandwagon and target a subject or person, for no other reason but, simply to be vocal and abusive.

Social media should be an excellent platform for many reasons. From promoting and growing ones earning capacity, to gaining knowledge, to support, to creating new friendships in far away places....to use it in any way possible promoting the best in one and others.
Yet, as social media grows and new platforms get introduced , the abuse continues to grow at a rapid pace instead of it being slowed down by the potential good in its use.

Question, i ask, again and again....is the good in all of us, is a good person, is integrity and honour something to be embarrassed about, something to be shunned?
Does fame or fortune spoil us? does being derogatory make us more favourable in the eyes of the masses? Do wars and conflicts be the food of this new world? How can a Samaritan good, make any impact on the tumultuous shit we find ourselves in when kindness and good advise is shunned and laughed at.

I truly hope that this abusive society will not frighten the good Samaritans into hiding, that they no longer care to disclose themselves when a situation calls. For then, we are ...fucked.


RB.

And in no particular order...

The ladies that say it straight even though many may think them confrontational

I SALUTE YOU.

Angie ( add active)

Claudia Gentleman's Delight (ad active)

Galaxy The Original (ad active
)
Michelle Savaty (ad active)


And i include

all the punters who know what the word "WOMAN" means.

Lol.. RB this felt like you called me out.. and why would it feel like that to me ?

Maybe because it is true..;)

I had been in "hiding" and had been distancing myself from all things negative.

Since my return I had definitely made a point of scrolling past and not commenting on any thread where people are having a go at each other.

Even plainly ignoring people that try to crawl back into my space as if there was no past where they where the bully or pot stirrer or part of the pop corn gallery stoking the fires.

I had my share of being bullied and targeted in the past not because of me having done anything really except to speak up in defense of someone being bullied or for calling out a bully.

The world can burn around me and I now walk away. I did not start that fire, I wont fuel it by adding my 2c and I wont help to put it out.

Does that make me cowardly and selfish to a point... yes it probably does. I choose me. I choose my joy and my peace.

Ps.. I still enjoy reading all your posts. ;)