And Esangel, i just looove you for loooooving my jokes.... ;-*

SEXUAL ADVICE

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do. ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'

The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course you can, ' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think people like Julius Malema come from.'

Matric History examinations in 2015



Questions.
1. Which President of South Africa retired early from office because he
was HIV Positive?
2. Which President of South Africa had a thing for Baby Oil?
3. True or False; Did Mr. Zuma use a condom when he slept with an HIV
positive woman?
4. When did President Mbeki say; 'HIV does not cause AIDS'? Do you think this statement made ZUMA not to use a Condom? Elaborate.

5. What did Mr.Zuma say about the Death Penalty?
6. His views, are they complementing the Freedom Charter?
7. How many first ladies did South Africa have during Zuma's reign?
8. In your own words, why did Zuma's wife commit suicide?
9. After sleeping with a woman younger than his daughter, did Mr.Zuma
Shower or bath?
10. Was Mr. Zuma consistent in his views on the economy, death penalty
and
conspiracy.
11. Who sang Mshini wami?
12. Is Mshini wami a SA national anthem?
13. How many wives did Mr. Zuma have?
14. Who said 'I will kill for Zuma'?
15. Who is the dumbest ever ANCYL president with bad matric results?
16. Would you kill yourself if you get same results like those of ANCYL?
17. Who (ANCYL) went to an initiation school at the age of 36?
18. Who is known as 'Mrs Beetroot'?
19. What do you know about Shabir Shaik?
20. True or False, Shabir Shaik and Mo Shaik are brothers and Mr Zuma's
cousins?

Examiner: Terror Lekota
Moderator: Sam Shilowa

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients

and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much

he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt

and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.


But every now and then he'd hear an internal

reassuring voice in his head that said:


'Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first

medical practitioner to sleep with one of their
patients and you won't be the last.

And you're single. Just let it go.'


But invariably another voice in his head

would bring him back to reality.

Whispering......

Dave........

Dave........

..........you're a vet.

Boyfriend gets 'I Love You' tattooed on his tottie and goes home to show his lover.
She says: 'There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth'.

@Hotstuff
LMFAO What is the expected pass rate?
And I take it if matriculants manages to answer a minimum of five questions correctly the qualify for university entrance lol

BONUS QUESTION: (Inserted for MENSA candidates)
21. Did Julius Malema obtain a G or H symbyl for Woodwork?

There was a small town where people were so adulterous that the local priest was getting tired of hearing confessions about adultery. One Sunday in church, he suggested that whenever they make a confession about sleeping with somebody else either than their spouses, they should say that they
tripped. This worked fine until he was transferred to another town the following year..


His successor did not know anything about this arrangement and naturally, these confessions were confusing. He then decided to see the mayor and the following discussion ensued:
Priest: Morning Mr Mayor
Mayor: Morning Father
Priest: I've been meaning to talk to you about the pavements in your town
Mayor : Why?
Priest: Hardly a day passes without someone confessing about tripping which frankly I find odd.

On realising that the priest does not know the context of the confession, the mayor laughed out loudly. The priest looked at him and said 'You are laughing, your wife tripped twice this week'.

LMFAO @ andrew007 Brilliant

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt,

tsunamis to arise,

hurricanes to sway around,

no one is taught how to choose a wife,

natural disasters just happen.

Jacob Zuma's name decoded.......

J ust

A

C reator

O f

B abies with



Z ero

U nderstanding of

M arriage and

A ids