And South Africa has a lot of evolving to go through if it's even possible...

Written language only arrived recently to these shores. The natives of this land have never gone through a period of enlightenment. Tribalism and tradition are emphasized instead of reason. Time will tell if there is even a pedigree for a more advancement...a lack of progress for millenia says otherwise.

I was married to an abusive woman we've been divorced since 2016. Still to this day she abuses her power because of my children. I haven't seen my kids since Feb this year. When she got caught cheating and stealing she went above and beyond to make my life miserable and accused me of the most gruesome things and because she is a woman I had no leg to stand on no matter what I do she wins every time. The things she put me threw is horrible. Woman can be more abusive then men

On 2021-11-23 13:44:47 lukeyt said:
respectfully don't agree, women are more vulnerable
I've seen bad men over the years look at me and because of my build they've backed down and haven't tried anything

I'm sure if they knew I'm not strong they would've tried something, so as men we are privileged. Obviously I can't stop a gun or knife, but anything else I'm not worried

Thank you for explaining it to those who refuse to understand the need for this term.

What people need to realise is that everyone is unique in their own way. One will have strengths where others don't, while others may excel at other things that the one doesn't. That is why relationships are formed. To help one another be a better version of themselves and uplift each other in their weaker qualities.

Rape, abuse, crime, domestic violence happens everywhere. I often get told that crime is bad in this country. My response is always, what are you doing about it? I can tell you, that when I am not working, in the evenings or weekends. I am with my neighbourhood watch patrolling the areas. I am a certified first responder, I am at accident scenes, break ins, domestic violence cases. I see the men an women that are working 24/7 to make sure that in emergencies, people are safe and help is offered.

I see the worst of the worst. I don't take it home with me. My work day is stressful enough too. I need an outlet. I need the companionship of a lady to be there sometimes and show me that life also has a good side to it. That is why I punt. I respect the work that the ladies do, and I respect and appreciate the ladies too. If it weren't for them I would most likely end up cuckoo.

As for drugs, I will never resort to that. It may seem like the easy way out, but it is not. No matter how cool people say it is. Nothing good ever comes out of it. For me it's a waste of money and time.

As for domestic violence cases, I still, to this day do not understand why the abused partner will defend their abuser on a repeat cycle. People, note I say people, because both genders do have guilty parties. People that abuse other people are cowards, they are the scum of the earth.

Most people get relationships wrong and think it is an ownership. It is not, it is a partnership. No one person can excel at everything, no one person is weak at everything.

You can't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree and taste a banana for the first time. But you can get a cute furry creature that will climb that tree and will bring that banana down to the fish to taste.

The point I am trying to get at, is that everyone here on ESA has unique and special strengths and weaknesses. Divided, we are all weak. It shouldn't ever be an Us and Them issue. We should be working together, helping each other grow each other to be better people.

Trust and respect is also a big contributing factor. You will get the scammers and the corrupt that will seek to take advantage. I am sure there are just a handful of bad ones that spoil it for the rest. But we have a great platform here on ESA. We have a means of communication, that no other platform in SA has.

We can all fight and argue, then get naked with each other the next day. The reality is that we are a community here. We have an advantage to weed out the bad. Work together and uplift each other. Grow each other into better versions of ourselves.

If you have not watched, the video I posted in the thread below brings a lot of insight as to what can go terribly wrong. We are very fortunate in SA for things to be slightly better in some cases.

www.esa.co.za/forum/thread.php

Let's bring out the better version of each other. Let's grow one another.

Your thoughts?

On 2021-11-23 15:00:54 oraljim said:
...We will never get to that point while all efforts to address violence are based on punitive measures as opposed to actually educating people and lifting them even slightly higher on the economic scale. Its not going to get solved if people simply dismiss certain actions as "cultural". Some things are just universally bad, no matter your age, race, gender, location, culture or any other immutable characteristic.

Calling women the "weaker sex" is part of the problem - you are essentially creating future victims by having women walking around thinking they are weaker. Your humanity should be all the shield you need....

LIKE**LIKE...You sir, are a sensible man!
I enjoyed this part very much.
Thanks OJ

just to add a few cents

usually men wont be so open regarding their personal issues and that's the problem as

Society says men must man up deal with stuff but nobody genuinely cares
No matter what men do is never good enough
Men are expected to provide or be insignificant
Men must Pay for dinner and open doors be strong and follow a criteria to be noticed / appreciated
Mental health for men doesn't matter
Male suicides higher
Most victims of violent crime are men (overall worldwide)

Increasing number of youth comes to the escort world because they feel they not confident enough to approach a girl in general, even more men who are having troubles at home turn to this world, what does that do to the minds of these young men and the older ones? Who do they turn to? What paths do they follow? Not all are wise enough to seek advice or realise they need to take the mature way .how they are raised today matters for your futures as a female too.

Every social media is bombarded with everything female and yes I'm all for equality before anyone says otherwise but the men today are made to feel worthless which doesn't help contribute too an equal society nor a happy one.

What society does is take a few successful men and label all as such which provides the foundation for a toxic world

Basically we as humans are behaving like politicians picking extreme ends to our gain or nothing no harmony no balance in the middle no respect

If we look out for each other we will be happier we will understand each other more be kind to each other we will be calmer we will be more loving affectionate humans and this applies to both genders.

Regardless of gender or colour we eat the same food breathe the same air and are buried in the same ground so why can't we love and respect each other the same. Because media and politics and business wont benefit in a happy society, thus we nurtured tormented and fed toxicity.

Understand the impact we can have to each other, ourselves to the animals to the planet to our society .

On 2021-11-23 15:00:54 oraljim said:
...
We will never get to that point while all efforts to address violence are based on punitive measures as opposed to actually educating people and lifting them even slightly higher on the economic scale. Its not going to get solved if people simply dismiss certain actions as "cultural". Some things are just universally bad, no matter your age, race, gender, location, culture or any other immutable characteristic.
...

"We will never get to that point while all efforts to address violence are based on punitive measures as opposed to actually educating people and lifting them even slightly higher on the economic scale. Its not going to get solved if people simply dismiss certain actions as "cultural". Some things are just universally bad, no matter your age, race, gender, location, culture or any other immutable characteristic."

blablabla fishpaste...you won't address anything until you get to the root cause of it. What is the root cause? BY stating something is caused by cultural or traditional attitudes, I am not dismissing it, I am identifying the cause. Once the cause is identified we can address the issue. Throwing general statements like "educating people" and "lifting them higher on the economic scale" is neither here nor there. Educate them on what? with the intention to change what?

I don't blame anyone for thinking you live in an ivory tower because you do come across as being a bit out of touch with reality (south african reality) and the common (south african) man.

On 2021-11-24 08:34:15 Locote said:
Throwing general statements like "educating people" and "lifting them higher on the economic scale" is neither here nor there. Educate them on what? with the intention to change what?

Never before has a phrase so succinctly expressed the idiocy of an author.

On 2021-11-23 22:38:42 semensquirter said:
LIKE**LIKE...You sir, are a sensible man!
I enjoyed this part very much.
Thanks OJ

Than YOU for the compliment. Glad someone gets it.

Thread too rich for me