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![]( "A member of ESA for more than five years, but less than 10 years")
![]( "A member of ESA for more than 10 years")
![]( "Gold Member")
![]( "ESA staff met this punter in person")
![]( "A respected member of the community, with consistent helpful posts")
![]( "One of our Wicked Wendesday Winners")
![]( "Directly helps ESA in the recruitement of new advertisers")
![]( "Donated to Charity")
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![]( "Part of the ESA Photography Team")
![]( "Received the Punter Of the Year Award")
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-19 17:27:50
...here goes doctorevil
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-19 17:28:21
......
And as he said it, he put his head into his hands, shut his eyes, and wished that the darkness was darker than dark.
Silence.
"So am I..."
His first instinct was to get up and leave. It was about him. Not her. He didn't want to listen.
He wished to spill his misery and hope for the best....some understanding?
For whatever reason, he didn't flee.
Frozen.
The darkness weighed heavy.
And as the silence seemed eternal, he wished she would say something.
Where was that verbosity? Was she that defeated ?
His senses began to ping. Something was not right.
He wanted his wife back... the one that always had too much to say.
The fighter.
"I want a divorce. "
BANG.
He felt like someone had shot him between the eyes .
Dead center.
" I thought we stood a chance. I thought we were different. I thought I could weather the storm. I love u with all of me. But, I can see it is not enough for u. I have lost myself in this battle. I do not like who I have become.
And, as much as I love u, I have begun to resent u. I don't think I like u anymore."
Silence.
"U have nothing to say?" She asked.
Her voice seemed to be coming from a far far far distance away.
And then he got up and, once more, walked away.
RB.
And as he said it, he put his head into his hands, shut his eyes, and wished that the darkness was darker than dark.
Silence.
"So am I..."
His first instinct was to get up and leave. It was about him. Not her. He didn't want to listen.
He wished to spill his misery and hope for the best....some understanding?
For whatever reason, he didn't flee.
Frozen.
The darkness weighed heavy.
And as the silence seemed eternal, he wished she would say something.
Where was that verbosity? Was she that defeated ?
His senses began to ping. Something was not right.
He wanted his wife back... the one that always had too much to say.
The fighter.
"I want a divorce. "
BANG.
He felt like someone had shot him between the eyes .
Dead center.
" I thought we stood a chance. I thought we were different. I thought I could weather the storm. I love u with all of me. But, I can see it is not enough for u. I have lost myself in this battle. I do not like who I have become.
And, as much as I love u, I have begun to resent u. I don't think I like u anymore."
Silence.
"U have nothing to say?" She asked.
Her voice seemed to be coming from a far far far distance away.
And then he got up and, once more, walked away.
RB.
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-19 19:35:39
RB we have never met, but I really thought it was my life story.
You are a very talented author.
You are a very talented author.
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-19 21:42:21
More, please, Ms B. More!
On 2023-04-19 17:28:21 Russian Bridgitte said:
......
And as he said it, he put his head into his hands, shut his eyes, and wished that the darkness was darker than dark.
Silence.
"So am I..."
His first instinct was to get up and leave. It was about him. Not her. He didn't want to listen.
He wished to spill his misery and hope for the best....some understanding?
For whatever reason, he didn't flee.
Frozen.
The darkness weighed heavy.
And as the silence seemed eternal, he wished she would say something.
Where was that verbosity? Was she that defeated ?
His senses began to ping. Something was not right.
He wanted his wife back... the one that always had too much to say.
The fighter.
"I want a divorce. "
BANG.
He felt like someone had shot him between the eyes .
Dead center.
" I thought we stood a chance. I thought we were different. I thought I could weather the storm. I love u with all of me. But, I can see it is not enough for u. I have lost myself in this battle. I do not like who I have become.
And, as much as I love u, I have begun to resent u. I don't think I like u anymore."
Silence.
"U have nothing to say?" She asked.
Her voice seemed to be coming from a far far far distance away.
And then he got up and, once more, walked away.
RB.
More, please, Ms B. More!
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-20 20:30:49
Baiden jr
Thank u for the huge compliment.
Life is cruel as much as it is wonderful. To navigate it is a daunting task .
This tale shall have its twists and turns and the pains that will ripple thru a home and relationship need not mean a horrid end as much as it may mean the start of better things to come.
RB.
Thank u for the huge compliment.
Life is cruel as much as it is wonderful. To navigate it is a daunting task .
This tale shall have its twists and turns and the pains that will ripple thru a home and relationship need not mean a horrid end as much as it may mean the start of better things to come.
RB.
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-22 10:41:00
WOW, just wow,so beautifully written.this women had serious talent,why in the world are you not published?if u are,I apologize for my assumption!
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-22 11:00:05
Dearest Ruby
I thank u for such beautiful words. It gives me courage to continue.
I hug u close . xxx
Pseudonyms are awesome and keep many things private.
RB .
On 2023-04-22 10:41:00 Ruby said:
WOW, just wow,so beautifully written.this women had serious talent,why in the world are you not published?if u are,I apologize for my assumption!
Dearest Ruby
I thank u for such beautiful words. It gives me courage to continue.
I hug u close . xxx
Pseudonyms are awesome and keep many things private.
RB .
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-22 11:01:47
Doctorevil....here goes again.
Here is her truth....
Here is her truth....
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-22 11:02:20
.......
She continued to sit in the dark, staring into nothingness.
That nothingness became a movie screen of their life together.
Quick flashes of events. Their happy beginning to give way to the disconnect, the drawn-out silences, the frustrations, and her losing her way.
As she sat there, she realized her role as lover and companion to her husband had been overtaken by the role of being a mum, a wife, a caretaker of family, and home.
Striving to wear the many caps she thought she had to wear to be the best woman she knew she was .
In doing so, she began to demand of him some sort of recognition of her hard work. Always on his case about this and that, trying to engage him in her worries and concerns about their kids and other things in general.
His response had been grunts and groans, and when in bed wanting....sex.
She needed more than his attention in bed. She needed him to be her partner in their relationship.
There was some kind of magic playing out in that darkness because she began to realise her loss of self was not his fault.
The partnership that was no longer was because she had placed such pressure on herself and him to be that imagined wife and husband she thought should be.
She had begun to resent him for not playing along. Not understanding the pressure she felt to be a good mother, a good wife.
Him not understanding that she no longer felt attractive.
Sexy.
She felt tired . Exhausted.
She had started to want more from this marriage.
And when she became suspicious of his long periods of being off the radar, she began checking up on him.
Was the sex so important to him? Is that what kept them together ? Made their marriage work?
Without it, they were nothing?
It killed her the first time she spied him coming out of another woman's apartment.
The second time, then a third time...it was different women, and she realized he was actually paying for sex.
They were prostitutes.
Prostitutes....how could he?
Was she that worthless to him.
But, something kept her from revealing to him what she knew. Something in her that made her look at herself and then came the knee jerk reaction.
She fucked another man.
He had flirted with her. Laughed with her complimented her on her looks.
He saw her.....so she thought .
Now. She felt disgusted with herself and she had blamed her husband.
Sitting in the dark she realized the secret that she kept would destroy any chance they had of repairing anything that was left between them.
Not the secret of him indulging in prostitutes but the secret that she had fucked another man.
She knew it would destroy him.
Was asking for a divorce the only way of leaving him with his dignity? They say no secrets stay secrets and this one had to die with her.
She sat there and continued to stare into the darkness...
RB.
She continued to sit in the dark, staring into nothingness.
That nothingness became a movie screen of their life together.
Quick flashes of events. Their happy beginning to give way to the disconnect, the drawn-out silences, the frustrations, and her losing her way.
As she sat there, she realized her role as lover and companion to her husband had been overtaken by the role of being a mum, a wife, a caretaker of family, and home.
Striving to wear the many caps she thought she had to wear to be the best woman she knew she was .
In doing so, she began to demand of him some sort of recognition of her hard work. Always on his case about this and that, trying to engage him in her worries and concerns about their kids and other things in general.
His response had been grunts and groans, and when in bed wanting....sex.
She needed more than his attention in bed. She needed him to be her partner in their relationship.
There was some kind of magic playing out in that darkness because she began to realise her loss of self was not his fault.
The partnership that was no longer was because she had placed such pressure on herself and him to be that imagined wife and husband she thought should be.
She had begun to resent him for not playing along. Not understanding the pressure she felt to be a good mother, a good wife.
Him not understanding that she no longer felt attractive.
Sexy.
She felt tired . Exhausted.
She had started to want more from this marriage.
And when she became suspicious of his long periods of being off the radar, she began checking up on him.
Was the sex so important to him? Is that what kept them together ? Made their marriage work?
Without it, they were nothing?
It killed her the first time she spied him coming out of another woman's apartment.
The second time, then a third time...it was different women, and she realized he was actually paying for sex.
They were prostitutes.
Prostitutes....how could he?
Was she that worthless to him.
But, something kept her from revealing to him what she knew. Something in her that made her look at herself and then came the knee jerk reaction.
She fucked another man.
He had flirted with her. Laughed with her complimented her on her looks.
He saw her.....so she thought .
Now. She felt disgusted with herself and she had blamed her husband.
Sitting in the dark she realized the secret that she kept would destroy any chance they had of repairing anything that was left between them.
Not the secret of him indulging in prostitutes but the secret that she had fucked another man.
She knew it would destroy him.
Was asking for a divorce the only way of leaving him with his dignity? They say no secrets stay secrets and this one had to die with her.
She sat there and continued to stare into the darkness...
RB.
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Re: ....I am drowning
Posted: 2023-04-22 21:19:23
As she sat in the darkness, contemplating the events that had led her to this point, she realized that she needed to make a choice. She could either continue down the path of secrets and lies, or she could find the courage to confront her husband and have an honest conversation about their relationship.
She knew that it wouldn't be easy. It would require vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to face the uncomfortable truths about themselves and their marriage. But she also knew that it was the only way to move forward.
As she sat there, she made a decision. She would talk to her husband and lay everything out on the table. She would tell him about her own infidelity and about what she had discovered about him. She would listen to his side of the story and work together to find a way forward.
It wouldn't be easy, but she knew that it was worth it. She was tired of living in the darkness and hiding behind secrets. She wanted to live in the light and find a way to rebuild the trust and intimacy that had been lost.
With a deep breath, she stood up and walked towards the door. It was time to face the truth and begin the process of healing.
She knew that it wouldn't be easy. It would require vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to face the uncomfortable truths about themselves and their marriage. But she also knew that it was the only way to move forward.
As she sat there, she made a decision. She would talk to her husband and lay everything out on the table. She would tell him about her own infidelity and about what she had discovered about him. She would listen to his side of the story and work together to find a way forward.
It wouldn't be easy, but she knew that it was worth it. She was tired of living in the darkness and hiding behind secrets. She wanted to live in the light and find a way to rebuild the trust and intimacy that had been lost.
With a deep breath, she stood up and walked towards the door. It was time to face the truth and begin the process of healing.
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Legend
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