Oops sorry babes it slipped in by mistake....

I went out for a nice meal one day when the waiter asked, "How would you like your steak sir?"
"The same way i like my sex," i replied
He smiled and said, "so rare?"

That cake

An old guy walks into a new pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:#1 CHEESE-BURGER: £1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : £2.50 HAND-JOB: £10.00Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meagre looking group of men."Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?""I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?""Yes," she purrs, "I am."The man replies, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger." 

A man staying at a hotel removed a card offering sexual services from a nearby phone box. Back in his hotel room he rang the number and a woman with a silky soft voice asked if she could be of assistance."Yes" he said. "I'd like a doggie in bondage gear, leather, PVC, whips, the lot. And then some hardcore spanking, rounded off with a blow job. What do you think?"The woman said, "That sounds really good and I'd like to oblige, but if you press 9 first you'll get an outside line.

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, "I must confess, darling, I used to be a hooker.

."He says, "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past but, I must admit, I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it."

She replies, "Well, my name was Koos and I played for Boland

Ha Ha Me sleep while someone is having sex with me. Will never happen lol I'l wake up as soon as he touches me.

Eish the peanut gallery has no funny bone #can't watch#

lol @ samdidtwo that's a good one

Lol @ Orpheus would you like a cheese burger;)

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”