What do you do if your girlfriend/wife starts smoking?

Apply more lube.

I thought if I put this on here I might just get away with it ...

Reflecting on being crapped on by a SP for just calling (I had seen her about 5 times before) rather than making a booking, I came up with the following

Is it a PSE? no Is it a GFE? No

So what is it then?

It is a WE? - Wife Experience

Men are like a wooden floor ... if you nail him good in the beginning .. you walk over him for years to come ;)

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks: "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Doug. The midget!

On 2019-03-18 12:40:41 J_69 said:
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks: "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Doug. The midget!

Pubic hair smelling good....lol

Hehehehe....

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a Gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

A little boy walks into a whore house with a R200 Note and a dead frog. He goes to the pimp and asks for the ho with the most venereal diseases. The pimp is surprised but gives the boy his ho. After the boy does his deed, the pimp asks why he wanted the ho with all the venereal diseases. The boy answers: When I go home, I will get a babysitter while my parents go out to eat and I'll fuck her. When my parents get home, my dad will drive the sitter home and screw her in the car. Tonight, my parents will fuck. Tomorrow, after my dad leaves for work, my mom will do the mailman,
AND THAT's THE SON Of A BITCH WHO RAN OVER MY FROG !!!!!

Always review the owner's manual first...

Dear Tech Support: Years ago I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Happy Hour 64, Golf 2.3, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. Girlfriend 7.0 ran smoothly with all of these applications. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks, A Troubled User.

REPLY: Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGISE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGISE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 36.24. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support Ps. Some users have been successful with Wife 1.2 or even Wife 1.3, however, I do not recommend unless you read the owner's manual first.

Bob asked his friends "do you guys remember the first time".
"Oh hell yeah they all say" so Bob decides to tell them about his:
"Well the first time I had sex was in the grass in a vacant veld area.
It was a perfect day and we were just going at it for hours and then suddenly her mom comes up to us out of no where.
So i'm like oh shit...
"holy shit what did she do" asks one friend.
Bob replies: "The first thing that came out of her mouth was baaaaaaaaahhh!"