Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the
husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and
starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and
says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and
tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back
over and taps his wife again. This time he
whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist
appointment tomorrow too?"

A man is talking to God.

"God, how long is a million years?"

God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."

"God, how much is a million dollars?"

"To me, it's a penny."

"God, may I have a penny?"

"Wait a minute."

Just a reminder to all married people .. If you have promised your wife or husband you will love them 24/7 .. Today is 24/7 :)))

On 2019-07-24 18:00:40 BOOBS53 said:
Just a reminder to all married people .. If you have promised your wife or husband you will love them 24/7 .. Today is 24/7 :)))

Lol.

Dear Winter

I am breaking up with you. I think its time I start seeing other seasons. Summer is so much hotter than you.

Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."

If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace

Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large -- break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says: "Looks like he's still fucking celebrating!!"

"A couple were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!" He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties, and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before. When he was finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself, did you?" And his wife replied, "No, no. I'll be okay once I can get this old doorknob out of my ass."