[QUOTE;1650317;kobusv] Question to the ladies.

Why is it that so many of you seem to fall for and get involved with gutter scum shitbags who do not work and will never get anywhere in life?




I have worked with so many ladies over the years and wondered the same and just as many turn down perfectly good guys to stay with these shitbags.

Nice guys finish last...

On 2019-01-12 10:41:38 BilboBaggins said:
On 2019-01-12 10:07:17 kobusv said: Question to the ladies.

Why is it that so many of you seem to fall for and get involved with gutter scum shitbags who do not work and will never get anywhere in life?

Hmmmmmm???
I was wondering the same thing.....

OK, I'm going to try answer, as objectively as possible.

Jobwise, I had been in corporate for just over 20 years.
During that time, I had my fair share of narcissistic men, entering my life.
I have also suffered at the hands of narcissistic bullies, translating into boyfriends, if you will, who wanted to "destroy" me, when I said "no more".
As a side note, no person on Earth, has the capacity to destroy another human being by being vindictive, unless allowed to do so.

A lot of ladies in this line of work, happen to be of an empathic nature.
This very nature, opens one up to being abused, as well as taken advantage of, especially financially.

So, this forum is only one portal/outlet, bringing out the true character of human beings, be it male or female, purely because of the anonymous nature of it, for some...

There are plenty forums, like Quora, etc. to name one, which would surely educate those who want to know, about the enormity of emotional abuse, at the hands of male partners, as well as females.

What we saw happen since last night, is, most certainly, not a "working girl industry" situation.
This is merely one case of an emotional abuser (probably more), wanting to destroy another person, with no regard to the consequences.
If he truly cared about the wonderful person he fell in love with and who bore his children, he would NEVER have done what he did...

Claudia.
So do I understand correctly.
If a girl is empathic "showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another"

She will end up with a "gutter scum shitbag"

Does not add up, but that is propably why WE dont understand.

Could you perhaps elaborate?

The girls try to fix the scumbag and land up being fucked and not in a good way... Happens to men as well

On 2019-01-12 13:53:16 Johannesjacobs said:
Claudia.
So do I understand correctly.
If a girl is empathic "showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another"

She will end up with a "gutter scum shitbag"

Does not add up, but that is propably why WE dont understand.

Could you perhaps elaborate?

Thank you for your question and I certainly can try my best to answer.

If you read my post properly, I used the words "opens one up".
I also mentioned " unless allowed to".
So please read my words in the context of what it was meant.

This type of abuse happens all over the world, and not necessarily more so in this industry.

Thank you for the clarity Claudia. ;)

There are certain commonalities I have seen over the years. It's just observations, nothing more nothing less.
Where ladies in a marriage or relationship enter this business, there is more often than not a good for nothing alcohol and or drug dependent partner.
Partner is almost always abusive.
The partner is almost always unemployed....very often he has walked out of a job or resigned before he had secured something else. (Very seldom retrenched or lost his job due reasons outside of his control).
The lady seldom has family support to back her up when shit hits the fan. So she sticks with arsehole cos she'd rather have arsehole than have nobody at all.
When the money starts rolling in arsehole monopolies how HER money gets spent and I have seen so many cases where HE parks outside her workplace waiting for money.
Royal arsehole enjoys her takings and then when she has had enough, he does what Footlover did. He can't support his own kids and then jeopardizes her source of income and the result is the kids suffer.... how's that for a narcissist?
I have seen men like him drop off their partner at a venue while she is busting her p@#$ off (and I mean that quite literally) he is out drinking....not even babysitting their kids, but drinking or drugging.
This is just what I've seen so many times, over and over.. I am not offering any explanation or scientific or psychological analysis. It's just what I've observed of almost every wg I have met who was in a marriage or relationship when she started in this business. Some of them have been very dear friends who literally saw their arses without the use of a mirror.

Now to the ladies who are in relationships and don't want to leave or think they can survive, this is the time not to be completely honest. He does not need to know where you advertise and he does not need to know about this forum and he does not need to know how much you make. He does not need to know that you're going to kick his ass to the kerb. Do not tell anybody you can't trust how you are earning money.

Think women like the 'bad'boys...who end up being bad boys. (Probably a mix of smooth talking, excitement and confidence that attracts ts) So JohannesJacob is right. Nice guys finish last...

@Nadia: Thank you, quite informative - though i guess most of us suspected those circumstances.
Imo, the other "typical" woman in this industry is a woman who has actually left her partner. She cannot stand him. But he is not contributing any money to his children, and she has no option but this to make enough money to feed and support her children.

Even with a first degree, many people take home R15k, maybe R20k/month. (And then i have not even mentioned small businesses advertising jobs for PAs etc, offering less than R10k pm - often far less). A single parent having to pay rent, medical, car, school and provide for 2 children cannot survive on that.

These girls are often "forced" into this industry. Add to that, a mountain of debt as they tried to survive on R15k pm...Then often once they have worked that debt down, they leave the industry. But it is hard out there, and soon the debt brings them back.

Just my observations. And stories heard over the years.
And why imo, most girls actually cannot stand punters, because they feel exployed. Maybe rightly so.