On 2019-09-19 14:32:52 WillGrey said:
Jeez you guys are totally putting me off marriage. Sounds so depressing. There must be some upsides to it?

* Wear the pants from day one.

* Have a life of your own like hobbies, etc...

* Help out around the house.

* Show more interest in the kids than what she does.

* Theres a lot but I dont have time right now to write another book.

On 2019-09-19 15:01:03 Juicy Pussy Slayer said:
On 2019-09-19 14:32:52 WillGrey said: Jeez you guys are totally putting me off marriage. Sounds so depressing. There must be some upsides to it?

* Wear the pants from day one.

* Have a life of your own like hobbies, etc...

* Help out around the house.

* Show more interest in the kids than what she does.

* Theres a lot but I dont have time right now to write another book.

I thought all that shit would help but it doesn't. I treat wifey like my queen, do majority of shit around da house, including cooking, etc. As for wearing the pants, most women just don't respect that shit anymor

On 2019-09-19 13:18:33 Need4Passion said:
On 2019-09-19 10:09:40 Blaza said: Outsource the sex to someone else and stop trying to have sex with her. When she realise that you no longer initiate sex with her, she will naturally want to know why and in that case, you will both be forced to address the underlying issues.

Whether or not things get better from there will only depend on how the two of you handle the issues that come up

That won't work. I tried it. We actually split because if it. Was punting for years since I wasn't getting any at home and she couldn't give a fuck, excuse the pun.

Splitting worked. We had sex daily when we tried to make it work until the other issues come back. Those need to be resolved if you want a sex life back. When we tried to reconcile, it was easy because there were no expectations but being together comes with expectations from both sides and those have to be addressed.

The question is do you BOTH want to work in those issues? My ex didn't although I was willing to address and explain everything in buckets but she completely ignored the things I said about what bothers me and what I need. Sometimes, it's a lost cause.

On a side note, it sucks to be away from my kids half the time but it's fucking awesome to have passionate free sex and get blowjobs for hours, in drives to wherever, and wake up to your dick getting sucked. I fucked 3 different girls this week already. 1 cost me 2x30 minute drives. 1 cost nothing since enroute. 1 cost me a pack of cigarettes and supper. All from social media and dating apps. It's not all doom and gloom if you can't work it out. I do think about my ex and the love and history we had once upon a time but then I also remember the permanent depression and rejection in those last years without sex and am way happier.

If you stop initiating sex and she still doesn't care then that relationship is dead. You might as get yourself a proper relationship and treat your wife as just a friend. If she's cool with that then great,else she is soon to be ex wife

But you know this already

On 2019-09-19 14:32:52 WillGrey said:
Jeez you guys are totally putting me off marriage. Sounds so depressing. There must be some upsides to it?

I'm not aware of any upside to marriage

There's definitely upsides to marriage, however both parties hav to work at it or it's doomed

Any upside you can think of in marriage is there in an ordinary committed relationship. Marriage itself just adds on an additional layer of complexity without any value to it

On 2019-09-19 15:15:56 J_69 said:


I thought all that shit would help but it doesn't. I treat wifey like my queen, do majority of shit around da house, including cooking, etc. As for wearing the pants, most women just don't respect that shit anymor

Was about to say the same thing. I did, and still do, all of the above because that's who I am. If I could do it all over again I would never get married. I'm in a situation now where divorcing would financially ruin me and i stand to lose a lot, so for now things are what they are.

Only one guy here that made sense.. When he said he knew what he was getting into.. He still chose her..and he is making it work.. He is not having affairs blaming her for his needs. He is punting and not trying to change what he knew was gonna be from the start. Think the biggest problem is time we live in..

First sex before marraige was a taboo and marriages was arranged between families. People where expected to be monogamous and faithfull.( and most people where regardless of their own sexual needs or the lack of sex it in a relationship)
Then it became acceptable for gentlemen of stature to have mistresses as long as it was kept on the low down and he did not embarrass the wife and family name.
Then we got exposed to cultures where they are allowed more than one wife.( every western guys thought that was the way to live)
Now sex before marriage ain't a taboo and people are more open about their sexual needs.. But yet we still hide things from a potential wife or husband only later to cry because the wife doesnt like Greek/giving bj's or the husband like to do the jungle boogie every night and you prefer to do it as little as possible..or low and behold you are a nimfo and he is a average 2 minute noodle..

Unfortunately our "sexmate" and "soulmate" are seldom the same person.. But I think I'd we more honest with each other from the start about what we want and need in bedroom department we will have a lot less problems..

.doubled sorry

On 2019-09-19 10:08:11 daporra said:
Don't start punting find a new hobby or play more golf!

@daporra but he is a member here on ESA. Chances are, he is already punting.