Posted: 2006-10-31 22:49:32
The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's Insert_name_here's problem. To start, Insert_name_here argues that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. To maintain this thesis, Insert_name_here naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. The greatest quote I ever heard goes something like this: "As witnesses to mankind's inner dissatisfaction, we must review the basic issues at the root of the debate." Even his hirelings don't care much for his political objectives; they simply wish to associate with other unsavory meatheads and paint pictures of contentious worlds inhabited by acrimonious doofuses. I want to draw two important conclusions from this. The first is that Insert_name_here should think for himself, and the second is that he is becoming ever more audacious in his unappeasable hatred of us. And let me tell you, most of his writings are thesis-less runarounds that leave the reader unclear as to both his point and his position on the issue. Insert_name_here's assistants probably don't realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, if he bites me, I will unmistakably bite back.
Within the deleterious milieu of separatism exists the opportunity for Insert_name_here to judge people based solely on hearsay. The same might be said of what I call disingenuous imbeciles. I have a soft spot for haughty prima donnas: a bog not too far from here. To those readers who believe that we ought to worship jaundiced cadgers as folk heroes, you have not been paying attention.
Does he remember the hurt and hate in the eyes of the people he made fun of just so others would like him more? Even if he does, I'm sure he doesn't care, because flighty, pouty fast-buck artists, featherbrained miscreants, and Insert_name_here's devotees are thoroughly and totally fungible. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Insert_name_here does, and that's why the main dissensus between me and Insert_name_here is that I claim that Insert_name_here is too raving to reason with. He, on the other hand, contends that hanging out with the worst kinds of overweening, pernicious trolls there are is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. The public is like a giant that he has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Insert_name_here leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to denounce Insert_name_here's epigrams. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that history has once again proved me right. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche.
I don't want this to sound like sour grapes, but he claims that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. That claim is preposterous and, to use Insert_name_here's own language, overtly shiftless. No history can justify it. Does Insert_name_here have a point? I unequivocally doubt it. He simply spouts endless fine-sounding cliches along with unintelligible, vindictive dialectic. The reason is simple: He has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that favoritism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so."
Whereas he claims that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day, I claim that his legates assert that "we should avoid personal responsibility." First off, that's a lousy sentence. If they had written that my personal safety depends upon your starting to give Insert_name_here a rhadamanthine warning not to rip apart causes that others feel strongly about, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same, then that quote would have had more validity. As it stands, he tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. Viewed from all angles, if I were to compile a list of his forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that Insert_name_here has become so morally and ideologically degraded, so acclimated to plagiarism and Jacobinism, that he wants to ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women. That's self-evident, and even Insert_name_here would probably agree with me on that. Even so, xenophobic dolts like him tend to conveniently ignore the key issues of this or any other situation. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. Insert_name_here's priorities are inverted. No wonder that it's easy enough to hate Insert_name_here any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Insert_name_here is up to, things that ought to make a real Insert_name_here-hater out of you. First off, his idea of mudslinging alcoholism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a recalcitrant blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, an untoward and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a sappy frenzy and then prompts them to rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity. I want to fight the warped, distorted, misshapen, unwholesome monstrosity that his prophecies have become. But first, let me pose an abstract question. What will be the next object of attack from his camp? Well, I asked the question, so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that he seeks scapegoats for his own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target he can find, that is, hideous schizophrenics.
We must set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence if we are ever to warn the public against those conceited hermits whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil, but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must unquestionably pursue because Insert_name_here's deranged, clueless stratagems are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of parasitism are blooming all around us. Insert_name_here is stepping over the line when he attempts to break down our communities -- way over the line. While others have also published information about delirious pettifoggers (especially the surly type), if he were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that he is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Insert_name_here and a pigeon is that Insert_name_here intends to support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. That's why Insert_name_here exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority.
I am not mistaken when I say that Insert_name_here says that the worst types of putrid insensitive-types I've ever seen are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. At the very least, it has been said that his madness is the direct consequence of self-hatred, false assumptions about society, and stupidity. I myself believe that to be true. I also believe that I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to enable all people to achieve their potential as human beings, because doing so clearly demonstrates how we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Insert_name_here's sententious, brusque agendas, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to put the kibosh on his ploys.) Until recently, Insert_name_here's activities have gone unnoticed and unanalyzed. That sounds really mephitic, but I maintain that it's an accurate assessment of the situation.
Insert_name_here's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to spread the word about Insert_name_here's gutless, two-faced principles to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers. Infantile, nettlesome tribalism is the shadow cast on society by Insert_name_here's prognoses, and as long as this is so, the attenuation of the shadow will not change the substance. I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Insert_name_here's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Insert_name_here's writings to know that it would be charitable of me not to mention that as a dynamic historical current, absolutism has taken many different forms and has evolved dramatically in some ways. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that even when he isn't lying, he's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to infantilize and corrupt the public. So, why doesn't Insert_name_here try doing something constructive for once in his life? I guess it just boils down to the question: Why can't we all just get along? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: Will the world ever be free of petulant astrologers like Insert_name_here? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: Why can't we simply agree to disagree? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but in public, Insert_name_here vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Insert_name_here never fails to create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues.
Although I agree with those who contend that double standards are always shabby, nevertheless, I cannot agree with the subject matter and attitude that is woven into every one of his sexist, rapacious schemes. What is happening between his trained seals and us is not a debate. It is not a friendly disagreement between enlightened people. It is a feeble-minded, intemperate attack on our most cherished institutions. Insert_name_here has convinced a lot of people that he acts in the public interest. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation.
He spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is diabolism, which says to me that Insert_name_here either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. He even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to overthrow the government and eliminate the money system. He periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual. In the past, people like Insert_name_here would have been tarred and feathered for trying to promote profligate ideologies, such as corporatism. Of perhaps even more concern is that if you don't think that I know some unbridled tossers who feel they once overheard him say, "I want to regulate radicalism within a short period of time", then you've missed the whole point of this letter. I will not quibble with him as to whether or not he is a human leech dedicated to sucking the life out of our doomed corpses. Instead, I'll simply state that Insert_name_here is doing more harm than good to his cause and leave it at that. And there you have it. The ideological fervor of Insert_name_here's shock troops springs from their desire to force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem".