On 2024-01-08 20:41:13 DickRich2 said:
On 2024-01-08 16:27:04 Russian Bridgitte said: You and I are on different pages.
U talking about fucking....meaning "being in someone " and I am talking about making you WANT to fuck me bfr you do.
Plus I believe if chemistry ain't there u can fuck someone as many times as u like and it ain't gonna change a thing.
Thus even one night stands can be better than a girlfriend u have been "in" many times and still wonder which are the right buttons to press
Smile.
RB
We are obviously on different pages but let's start with where I agree with you. ;)
1. it's not (only) about the actual fuck, it's about what happens before the fuck.
2. Chemistry is important.
That's about it.
Really powerful sexual experiences in a couple happen when there's a combination of the following: lust + attraction + attachment. This is supported by decades of research in psychology.
Lust (and some attraction) make for a great one night stand. They also make for a great PSE but that's not a 'true' GFE, it's an inauthentic and transactional one which is why OP posted this thread.
The requirements for 'true' GFE are harder because a 'true' GFE is trying to emulate a real (and satisfying) sex life and guess what the magic ingredient is? Attachment. The long-term component AKA time.
You can try emulate a real (and satisfying) sexual relationship off just lust and attraction but the ingredient that elevates a GFE is some level of attachment which grows with time and makes the subsequent GFEs feel even more authentic and all the more powerful.
Psychology...I love it and was my major at Varsity
..wink.
Attachment?
Is this a place for attachment?
That is why many should maybe not be in this space?...too much emulation as opposed to authentication of what this space is all about?
RB.
Edited: 2024-01-08 21:57:04
On 2024-01-08 21:41:59 Russian Bridgitte said:
Psychology...I love it and was my major at Varsity
..wink.
Attachment?
Is this a place for attachment?
That is why many should maybe not be in this space?...too much emulation as opposed to authentication of what this space is all about?
RB.
Psychology is quite lovely, yes. ;)
Attachment isn't black or white right? It doesn't mean you must confess undying love to achieve a level of it. There's a sliding scale to attachment.
The same way that a PSE can happen with just lust but is transformed with some attraction, so does a GFE get transformed with some attachment added.
The best GFEs that I've had and paid for were forbidden fruit, they were the ones where I had to have pep talks with myself afterwards to not fall. Whether the ladies feigned attachment well or not I'll never know, but it at least meant that it didn't feel as transactional to me.
And I can add that not once have I tried to "emulate" any sort of gfe expectations and can honestly say in most cases,feel like I AM the gf and love every second of the share.
When didn't I?
Well...when there was no chemistry possibly because I was not exactly what the guy was looking for .
As to what a gfe is....so many different versions / expectations and thus you call it emulate and I call it surrender and let go....IN THE VERY FIRST SESSION... you might share with me.
It is the expectation that then requires the gfe to fit the "mould" you expected it to fit in to make it a gfe.
Just let it happen ....is what I say.
i.e. in the hour or 90mins or longer or overnighter.
RB.
Ps. As to attachment....what attachment feigned by the SP's are you referring to?
Edited: 2024-01-08 23:25:19
I deleted a whole paragraph about limits in mathematics, it felt a little overboard but to summarise if you are able to create a more authentic GFE in one session, then the investment of time can improve on it.
To answer your question. As you mentioned, it's what happens before "the fuck" that makes a better GFE. My best ever GFEs with ladies I lusted over and was attracted to from day one.
With most, it usually started with bookings where I didn't feel rushed and could begin to believe that maybe my company was valued, maybe the attraction was mutual on some level.
To dispel any lingering doubts, over multiple returning sessions, we could consistently sit, have a wine, catch up, sometimes not even have sex. It was in those moments where some trust built up, walls crumbled and we could be more of ourselves around each other.
In all those sessions together, a lady can feign this interest. If she's really good at it, I wouldn't be the wiser. Who knows. All I know is that when we had sex, it felt more authentic to me.
Then I am sad to say... I would fail miserably as to what you classify as gfe.
I neither sit to chat nor , share a drink , nor truly catch up.
And yet....it feels like my "boyfriend" walks through my door every time a punter makes me his choice.
Also tell you that ...very few words spoken ....and much girlfriend/ boyfriend "loving" taking place.
But I get the gist of what makes a gfe for you and many others
:)
RB.
Edited: 2024-01-09 02:35:46
After a while reality will click in, and you realize she is just utterly masterful at her craft and all her clients probably get treated the same.
I have once had that last for months before the click, with multiple return visits.Thats was a powerful GFE
On 2024-01-09 02:35:08 xenon69 said:
My measure of a real GFE is when u leave a session, and you are legitimately convinced that you and that lady shared something special and "maybe she is in to me?"
After a while reality will click in, and you realize she is just utterly masterful at her craft and all her clients probably get treated the same.
I have once had that last for months before the click, with multiple return visits.Thats was a powerful GFE
This is exactly what I'm trying to find. And DickRich2 put it so elegantly about the difference being the sense of authenticity, whether it is or isn't. Whether it's feigned or not is besides the point. It's the notion that counts. However, it seems this post has been a trigger for some. Hopefully an opportunity to quietly contemplate why its triggering.
Edited: 2024-01-09 07:29:47
If I may....
Well done on you on posting a topic that has raised interest and allows for sharing of different ideas and possibilities .
What a pity you have called "engagement " in conversation, a thread being read and the dynamic flow of such for, I view that as a HUGE success, as "triggering ".
Smile.
If I had been the OP I would have read and encouraged further comment from the many more who have remained silent and allowed them to share their opinion too. Thank goodness we know to be unique in who we are and how we do it.
Siggghhhh....guys out their reading.
I know for a fact you WILL feel like you my boyfriend the minute I lay eyes on you and you on me, even bfr we share whatever it shall be.
HURRY ON OVER!.... I WANT YOU!....and then let me whisper in your ear what THIS gf is gonna do to you.
Nothing emulated but rather simply sincere, enjoyed and truly desired.....YOU!
Russian Bridgitte
I often read threads and really have a good giggle
GFE should not be over thought...in my opinion...
Every experience is different, every client is special, and the SP picks up on the energy the punter gives off...
It's actually a kinda go with the flow (supposed to be)
Again my opinion.
It's a human condition to think too much and not just enjoy the moment for what it is...
Regardless weather us SPs get paid for the service... I do this coz I honestly enjoy it...and yes it's "my job", but I have never had the same experience 2ce....
May everyone have a beautiful day, filled with blessings...and if you making a booking with an SP, go with the flow....don't think too much and expect the unexpected... Enjoy the moment and have fun...
Kisses
Mila
Edited: 2024-01-09 08:01:49
In my mind GFE is a service description indicating DFK (deep french kissing), mutual oral (usually uncovered) and am attempt at a more sensual connection.
Not sure how you can ever expect more than that from a first booking.
Personally I am not looking for a GFE. Yes I like building relationships with regulars and it feels more real when you can share more than just your genitals, but I am under no illusion that this is anything more than me having a good time and hoping the lady is enjoying it too. I do appreciate connection, but nothing codependent or clingy.
Plus, I personally don't really enjoy Vaseline lensed "soft" sex and want some edge to the experience.
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