It just isn't always possible to iron out the issues. Sad but true.

For me it's the same as the five stages of grief (Wiki Elisabeth Kbler-Ross)

denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Closure comes, for me at least, with getting through each stage which can take an afternoon of contemplation or a life time depending on who you are and what the relationship was.

I've been through it three times with Mrs. Le Roux, that mad, borderline psychotic, infuriating sometimes selfish, beautiful, deep souled, incredible woman that has come close to destroying my life and who's life I have equally damaged. We are both damaged goods but simply cannot be apart from each other. Whether we are good or bad for each other will only be revealed on the ultimate judgement day.

I have reached acceptance on all three times but on each occasion, came out of it a miserable scrap of a man.

To my mind it is not so much a case of "getting over it" as it is a case of "getting on with it despite everything."

There are some things that some people simply can't get over alone and on occasion won't get over with all the help in the world. Getting on with it despite everything is sometimes the only way.

These days we do not iron out the issues we just accept our wrinkled messy life and wear those clothes with pride.

If closure isn't coming for you try seeing a professional, I did and it didn't just help it saved my life. We might be guys but we are still emotional beings to one extent or another. What works for one may not work for another but professional help, worked for me.