Rachel tells her mom she wants to divorce Abie cause he's obsessed with anal sex and hasn't done her in front for ages.
Rachel, "when we got married, my anus was the size of a 20 cent coin but now it's the size of a R5 coin".
Mom, "Rachel, you live in a mansion, don't work, don't cook, drive a sports car, you have a R30 000 monthly allowance, go on holiday 3 times a year ..... and you want to throw that all away for R4.80 ?"

LMAO, Now thjis is the way I like to start my day.

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check up. She told me i have to stop wanking. I asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because i am trying to examine you".


I told the wife my ultimate sexual fantasy was to have a threesome.
She was fucking livid when i told her it didn't involve her



My wife told me i was selfish in bed ....
I almost choked on my own cock


I went for another routine 6 monthly check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index up my arse.
That cant be a normal dental procedure

Cheezy burger my dear. Mwaaaaah

Saw the doctor the other day for a rash on my penis, he was all wierd about it, would not even touch it. All he said was make an appointment at the surgery tomorrow, then he took his family and carried on shopping.

Qualities of a perfect husband:

Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Natty
Industrious
Sensitive

If these fail...read the Capital letters only