Name: Heaven On Earth
City: Pretoria
Area: Lynnwood/Wilgers
Last Visit: December 2014
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So this is a very bittersweet and very very long review.
I had the option of taking a business associate of mine out for a little bit of fun in PTA. And since I do read the forums regularly enough, it seemed HOE was a no-brainer choice of venue in PTA. Now I dont do venues like HOE, cause I really do not like being seen, but HOE is really a 100min drive for me (in traffic), so it lessens the chances of me running into someone I may know. Anyway awesome venue and I was there for braai-day, so there was some good food on offer as well. For a business outing, I was quite pleased with my selection. The hostess (Destiny) was awesome, and there was very attentative service from the waiter as well.
The only complaints regarding the venue itself, is that the "services" and charges arent really explained by the hostess, so for a first timer like me and my associate, it sucks and it leaves one open to get a bit ripped off by an unscrupulous lady. Also I was treating my associate and didnt expect him to pay for anything, let alone cash in the room. Further although I do appreciate the openness of the venue regarding the racial preferences of the ladies, I didnt like the way it was presented to my associate. If you are treating business owners used to having the best of everything, you would like to at least give them the feeling they are always being offered the best of "everything". Lastly it seems what i was told over the phone and what was available, were really 2 different things, although I was quite open over the phone regarding information requested from me.
Anyway, everything else about HOE shines and we were impressed with all of the amenities available, the rooms, and the staff in general.
So to the service we received. We chose our ladies and at the selected time was led to our rooms. My associate had chosen Pheonix and has nothing but praises to sing about this lovely lady. Beautiful, gentle, sensual. Just as stated in her ad. I was asked to do a very favourable review of her, but her ad is doen. Anyway it seems I did end up achieving one objective of my visit. Service provided to him was awesome and he happily paid the extra charge; also he did have what was requested on him. So that part of the visit went smoothly. And may be the only reason i will visit HOE again.
Myself, I had spent a better part of a morning setting this up. Drove for over a 100 minutes and spent a substantial amount, only to be let down in the end by the lady. I seriously was doubting my return to HOE cause in the end of it all, it is all only about the end result for me. I had chosen Fire from the list of available ladies. Her first question to me in the room was "do you know how it works?", and since I havent been to HOE I say "no". She goes on to explain, and in her words, the fee paid is for the room and massage only and she doesnt really do massage at all and really doesnt want to do one, so I should do the fullhouse with her which is extra and to be paid in cash upfront. Now I understood that I could take care of all charges with my Credit Card and stated so, and only then said she preferred cash but I could pay by CC. Now if I had cash I would have paid her upfront anyway it seems. This already had me feeling a bit uneasy, that I had paid upfront already, and there was literally nothing on offer for what I had already paid for, just a room and a hot shower. Really poor value.
Anyway, after all of her great reviews, I figure an hour of sensual play with this girl might just be what the doc ordered, so i agree to forego the massage and and do the FH instead. After about 10mins, the lady is off me and in the shower. Now I tried to push for a really loooong foreplay session as this is what i had in mind instead of the massage, but she insisted that she was horny and needed me in her. I ask her what is going on, and she states it is a cum once policy and that is the house rules. WTF???!!! She tells me I didnt take the massage (so it is my fault), so it is really just the once off and now we can ONLY sit and chat, since she already took her 15sec shower, and she seemed ready to dress and leave. Now I know HOE was busy that day and she had just finished a booking before coming to me... but she should have not did anything if she wasnt in the mood. She said she wouldnt charge for the "extra" but really I came prepared to spend money to be satisfied, not to spend a whole lot of money to be told I dont have to pay the final tiny amount cause I wasnt about to be fully satisfied. I had in fact originally enquired about 2 hour bookings for us both, with double trouble. The only reason we didnt do it, was cause the info provided to me over the phone regarding availabillity was incorrect.
Anyway, an extremely dissappointing end to what promised to be an afternnon of fun for me. Left such a bad taste in my mouth that although my associate offered to wait while I try someone else, I was not in the mood for anything else. Instead, we opted to run up our bar tab a bit to drown out the dissappointment as I felt the waiter provided a much more pleasant service than the one I had received in the room. Really left HOE feeling a bit more strung out than when I arrived, instead of the relaxation one is promised.
I think HOE needs to check in on their girls after each booking before just shoving them onto us one after the other like a sausage factory, as this may be a possible reason for my poor experience at this venue.
Lastly... our before and after drinks were spent in very conspicuous loneliness. Again, not sure if this was because of:
how busy they were;
racial issues;
poor business model (if any of the ladies did decide to just join us for a few drinks, the outcome of the afternoon could have very well changed);
my ignorance of how HOE operates.
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Ratings:
Personality: 4/5
Telephone Manner: 3/5
Venue Cleanliness: 5/5
Personal Cleanliness: 5/5
Privacy: 2/5
Service: 3/5
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Will you return? Yes
Advertiser looked like the Photos? Yes
Secure Parking? Yes
PS: To easily submit a review like this, go to the Advertiser's page and click "Rate this Advertiser" (if you are a Gold Member) or "Review this Advertiser" (if you are a Free Member)