A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

Hey Babes here's something simple and yet funny as hell ...

Truth About Men

Don't imagine you can change a man... unless he is in diapers.

Love you to bits
Orph

has a winner been decided :) ?

On 2016-04-14 17:53:00 mojompower said:
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

This is classic however it is unfortunate that you may not part take I'm this competition. Since you are already a much valued client :) Thanks for the giggle # Blowing kiss#

It was difficult for me to decide Hense the delay in my decision.

Gold Member Entrants

[QUOTE;511540;Carailho] Whats the difference between muff dive and sky dive.
" The View"[/QUOTE]

And

[QUOTE;511495;pantum] I bought my wife a pear of slippers and a vibrator for her birthday last week ! She ask me why these two presents . I reply to her if you don't like the slippers ! Go fuck your self ! [/QUOTE]

These 2 members were rather close. However had to make a choice and decided to go with pantum.

Basic member has to be...

[QUOTE;511036;JoeDirt]

Why do people say 'grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding[/QUOTE]

Classic

@ Orpheus awe thanks hun. Hugs :)

Do contact me to claim :)

Lol he he he xx thanks for the laugh girl x 😘

Kickass has a big piepie 😂😂😂

Oh wow, did not expect to win. Thanks for doing this and I shall contact you. Cant wait for the treatment.

Damn, just missed it.

@arhwen Love my MVG status ..what am i on now?
. mwah back. Didnt know i wasnt qualified for entry but glad i gave u a giggle. U owe me one hey :p