Whatever happened to Muffdiver's sense of humanity?
Is Muffdiver so profligate as to think that this can go on forever?
Essay: Compare and contrast Muffdiver's teachings to those of chthonic vigilantes, focusing especially on who is more likely to inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan's hordes.
Don't worry; I'll give you all the answers throughout the course of this letter as well as a wealth of other information about Muffdiver. I assume you already know that Muffdiver is laughing up his sleeve at us, but I have something more important to tell you. When I first became aware of his covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how we must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because there isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Muffdiver's from the get-go. Daily, the truth is being impressed upon us that Muffdiver is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of splenetic speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list!

I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why all he cares about is money. My peers think that for every dollar we spend to better our communities, he'll spend a thousand more to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy. While this is honestly true, I claim we must add that I shall not argue that his newsgroup postings are an authentic map of his plan to usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times. Read them and see for yourself. Muffdiver's ultimata are like hothouse plants. They shoot up, but they lack the strength to defy the years and withstand heavy storms. While everybody believes in something, Muffdiver's simple faith in credentialism will undoubtedly redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with. In the past, I've said that parasitism is the principal ingredient in the ideological flypaper Muffdiver uses to attract homicidal poseurs into his camp. Were I to make such a generalization today, it would contain a few "weasel words" -- an escape hatch or that indispensable cliche that this theme is stated in one form or another in every one of Man's great religions. But because I must, on principle, step back and consider the problem of Muffdiver's vituperations in the larger picture of popular culture imagery, I am not ready to retract my conviction or to recant error.

I have reason to believe that he is about to shame my name. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that lascivious and depraved, Muffdiver's ballyhoos resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Muffdiver likes to cite poll results that "prove" that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery. Really? Have you ever been contacted by one of his pollsters? Chances are good that you never have been contacted and never will be. Otherwise, the polls would show that Muffdiver has written volumes about how he should destroy our youths' ability to relax, reflect, study, and meditate because "it's the right thing to do". Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that I once told him that a necessary first step towards recovery is to look at Muffdiver with new eyes, unclouded by a lifetime of false information and deception propagated by belligerent, apolaustic junkies. How did Muffdiver respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that if his propositions get any more mudslinging, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Now, I'm no fan of Muffdiver's, but still, my goal is to speak out against intemperate vagabonds. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I unequivocally do have to try.

Given Muffdiver's record of shady dealings, we can say that we are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which savage airheads like Muffdiver are thoroughly absent. The other road leads into the darkness of cynicism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that certain facts are clear. For instance, it seems that no one else is telling you that Muffdiver's assertion that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la serves only to illustrate his ignorance and poorly hidden bigotry. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how Muffdiver's perspective is that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. My perspective, in contrast, is that Muffdiver is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, Muffdiver throws principle to the wind. It would be a crying shame to let rapacious, ophidian undesirables destroy that which is the envy of -- and model for -- the entire civilized world. End of story. Actually, I should add that I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to confront and reject all manifestations of chauvinism. And just let him try and stop me. I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But ignorance is bliss. This may be why Muffdiver's co-conspirators are generally all smiles. Muffdiver's sanctimonious rantings leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? This isn't such an easy question to answer, but let me take a stab at it: The objection may still be raised that scapegoatism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. At first glance, this sounds almost believable. Yet the following must be borne in mind: I plan to take a strong position on his tricks, which, after all, supply the chains that bind the individual to notions of self-loathing and unworthiness. This is a choice I have made; your choice is up to you. But let me remind you that I recently heard Muffdiver tell a bunch of people that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.

If Muffdiver were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that he is typical of sick common blood-stained criminals in his wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize his sophistries. This brings us to the dark underside of his lamentations, the side that's known to procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror. If you agree, read on. Didn't Muffdiver tell his mercenaries that he wants to treat anyone who doesn't agree with him to a torrent of vitriol and vilification? Did he first give any thought to what would happen if he did? Of course, that question is ridiculous -- as ridiculous as his incomprehensible mottos. Nobody wants him to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security, but Muffdiver insists on doing it anyway. Just the other day, some of his negligent satraps forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Muffdiver's blueprint for a world in which disgraceful prophets of barbarism are free to break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international fascism. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Muffdiver.

He might demand that loyalty to obscene fanatics supersedes personal loyalty eventually. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome? In keeping with all of their inner feckless brutality, Muffdiver's pals bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives.

Muffdiver's paroxysms are not witty satire, as he would have you believe. They're simply the intransigent ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking. To state it in a more sophisticated manner, Muffdiver is utterly gung-ho about interventionism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. So who's crazy? I, or all the overweening freaks who aver that his orations epitomize wholesome family entertainment? Before you answer, let me point out that his buddies have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times -- stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize his homophobic, scornful communications. It is certainly not a pretty sight.

I should add parenthetically that Muffdiver acts as if he were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. Whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. Currently, he lacks the clout to promulgate partisan prejudice against others. But in the immediate years ahead, he will have enough underlings to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit.

Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that Muffdiver uses the word "anticonfederationist" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated. You might think that anyone who doesn't know that Muffdiver is dissolute must be inhabiting a different world. Well, if that's the case, then I'm afraid Muffdiver's stooges must have spent the past month on Mars. Everybody knows that his goons assert that the masses are diabolic and unfit for citizenship, but you should consider that he argues that those of us who oppose him would rather run than fight. To maintain this thesis, Muffdiver naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which he does by the desperate expedient of claiming that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. Even if our society had no social problems at all, we could still say that he is planning to require religious services around the world to begin with "Muffdiver is great; Muffdiver is good; we thank Muffdiver for our daily food". This does not bode well for the future, because Muffdiver should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.

My purpose is to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that the impudent nature of his memoranda distracts us from the real lessons we could learn from a rigorous critique of Muffdiver's grievances. Most of the battles I fight along the way are exigencies, not long-range educational activities. Nevertheless, you should never forget the three most important facets of Muffdiver's doctrines, namely their boisterous origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Muffdiver has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to lash out at everyone and everything in sight. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that his mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. If one could get a Ph.D. in Solipsism, he would be the first in line to have one. Okay, there's no reason for me to be cranky, so I'll leave you with this concept: Muffdiver's pronouncements are uniformly riddled by an unbelievable degree of ignorance.

Greetings OhKak

Well at least I've taught you something

Have a good weekend

Greetings to you to muffdive,

I hope you have a exceptional weekend filled with sunshine and cock

At last I know waht you'll be think about when you wake up with the morning woody tommorrow,

When I wake up with a woody tomorrow morning I'll have a nice juicy pussy to park it in - The only think you will have is your own ass that is if you have managed to stretch your cock enough or you will have to give yourself a hand fu.ck

And this was the thread taht started it all.

Correction: that that started it all

Don't drink & post, it makes you a Stumbling Linquist. Then again, you've never managed to stand erect yet.