Following below quoted from..."Coaching Positive performance."

12 Signs of emotional maturity

1. Flexibility
You are able to see each situation as unique and you can adapt your style accordingly.

2. Responsibility
You take responsibility for your own life. You understand that your current circumstances are a result of the decisions you have taken up to now. When something goes wrong, you do not rush to blame others. You identify what you can do differently the next time and develop a plan to implement these changes.

3. You understand that vision trumps knowledge
You know that you do not need to have all the answers. As long as you can identify the problem, you can visualise a solution and research the best way to implement that solution.

4. Personal growth
Meeting the challenges of tomorrow requires learning and development today. You have a desire to learn and a thirst for knowledge. Learning and development activities form a key part of your schedule.

5. You seek alternative views
Knowing that the way things are done can always be improved, you willingly seek out the opinions and views of others. You do not feel threatened when people disagree with you. If you feel that their way is better, you are happy to run with it.

6. Non-judgemental
Variety makes the world a more beautiful place. Even when you disagree with people, you do not feel the need to criticise them. Instead, you respect their right to their beliefs.

7. Resilience
There will always be things that go wrong. There will always be setbacks and major disappointments. While you may initially be a little upset, emotional maturity allows you to express your feelings, identify the actions you can take, and move on.

8. A calm demeanour
It's hard to be calm 100% of the time but you are able to remain calm the majority of the time.

9. Realistic optimism
You are not deluded. You know that success requires effort and patience. You do, though, have an optimistic disposition whereby you believe you can cope with whatever life throws at you. You also believe that there are opportunities out there for you, so you seek them out.

10. Approachability
You are usually easy to get along with and people feel comfortable approaching you. Building relationships is never contrived; it comes easy to you.

11. Self-belief
You appreciate when others praise or compliment you. It feels good when they approve. However, you know that there will always be people who disapprove but you are confident in who you are and what you do. If you believe that a particular course of action is right for you, you will do it, whether they approve or not.

12. Humour
You don't take yourself too seriously. You are able to enjoy a good laugh with friends and colleagues, even when you are the butt of the joke.
One of the greatest obstacles to emotional maturity is a lack of self confidence.

I wonder how many boxes one can tick off ...emotional maturity...a rare thing it is.

RB.

The conundrum of a society confused

"Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside is only a reflection of the world inside you." - Megan Margery.





What is it that makes one careful and turn ones back and ignore so-called choices considered questionable and taboo by society as a whole?

The foundation set by the majority who work themselves into a stupor trying to keep up with the Jones's and Khumalo's in possession, appearance and behaviour...yet, always falling short, for the foundation keeps on shifting reaching a stage of total confusion...a farce a lie a deception scared to be any different or true to self?

Could it be possible that being true to self is so devastating and derogatory that it would know to crumble break and destroy the very fibre of the unity of a home? Is the unity of a home based on deep sacrifices where the self knows not or cannot embark on a journey seeking contentment of a personal sort?

Would it be considered selfish, uncaring of another?

It is strange that contentment and happiness and success is measured and based not in singular form but, in parties of two or more....the principle that no person was born to be alone.

If that should hold true, does that mean that the natural progression of change in a humans life is boxed and bound eternal, having to adhere and stay loyal and faithful to a system that no longer works...leading to frustrations, fights, breakdowns...the very fibre of goodness , that which society hypocritically advertises, becoming nothing more than a tortuous existence leading to so called deviant and unacceptable behaviour.

The fear of self and being held accountable...the need to adhere to a social order, feel part of a unit...at what price..?...the price of self sacrifice the better of two evils for it holds the 'whole' complete and able to function, keeping the cogs of a new world order churning?

A principle that does not hold dear to a mind that seeks a truth evasive...a truth that is non-existent...?..the conundrum humans were born to...in order to survive, it seems we have to destroy the good, over and over...trying to learn that perfect formula of happiness, contentment and progression of the most unselfish kind.

Could that ever be...for the minute there is more than one to consider, so begins the sacrifice of one or more persons desires, happiness and contentment...it is our reality, it is our fate it is just how things are...is that true...???...

RB.

I sat and listened and thought to myself, as have many times...we are our own worst enemy.


Does one dare to be honest?




Does one dare to sit down with oneself and face the music?
Does one dare to ask uncomfortable questions and have the integrity to be brutally honest with oneself?
Would there be a purpose to such a head on collision with self?

I sometimes wonder, if honesty is the best policy for to be honest would mean, many a time, to not be in favour with the rest of the world.
Why is it that mankind cannot survive with brutal honesty?
Why is it that mankind has found this acceptable thing called 'white lies'...the purpose being to not hurt another...?...and possibly oneself?
Have we deviated off the path of truth to such an extent, that, we no longer have the courage to face the music and deal with the shitty bits in our lives?
Or.
Is it, that we have fallen so far down the rabbits hole, that we no longer know what the truth looks like?....confusing our delusional self created truth for the real deal?
Have we befuddled the balance of all things that we know not to get back to that point of being sincere and taking ownership of the crap one creates in ones own life?

Or...could it be that that is the only way mankind knows to survive...for if every wrong had to be faced and every incorrectness had to be admitted to....what would be the result? Would there be a continuation of good things or would they be jeopardised and destroyed by a falter , a stumble in a moment of weakness not to be repeated again?....for...does man know to exist without faltering and stumbling?
To know when to be honest? To know when to face the music?

I believe that many a circumstance can be avoided if mankind had the integrity and sincerity of being honest with oneself . It is easy to excuse ones own wrongdoing and blame it on anything else but oneself.
Even if the world were at fault, then being intelligent of mind...are humans not?... and strong of willpower ....for humans can be?...one should then be able to, face and admit, and take the bull by the horns, and with the best of intent and desire, be honest about the wrongdoing, and rectify it , leaving ripple effects that leave no scars.

Is that possible?...for there will always be somebody who will be in the firing line...and thus the birth of white lies and excusing ones behaviour and evading brutal honesty?

Could a brutally honest person be said to be without tact or feeling?....and...could a person resorting to evading the truth be called a liar?....

all depends how one sees oneself....

does one dare to sit down with oneself and face the music...

does one dare to ask uncomfortable questions... RB.

Who to ask...therein lies the magic.



What is it about youth that makes one less susceptible to listening...or is it hearing?

Does that phenomena only belong to the young, the inexperienced? Those that need to know the true meaning of a situation good or bad, through experiencing it themselves.
Or is that a phenomena a person would carry with them through life...a character trait of

the stubborn
the stupid
the simply obtuse person

....or...

an assertive person?

Could it be, that by preferring to stick to ones guns one is actually cutting oneself short of greater growth and positive outcomes.
But, what if sticking to ones guns is the right thing to do and reaps rewards huge.
There in lies the trick.

The magic of knowing who to listen to, when to listen and who to approach for advise or help.

There are many noise makers in this world...each one claiming to know something....an internet of humans claiming their right to information gathered along the way of life....and that includes oneself.

Much may be of value but, should be specific and relateable to the matter at hand. Many have a broad base of general knowledge, thinking they professors in all of those fields, freely handing out their opinions, looking for recognition and acceptance of their advise and views.

Nothing wrong with having an open mind and taking note of the share but, information overload can lead to confusion and brain and power drainage. As can arrogance and a "know it all attitude" lead to stagnation of personal growth and an ever evolving persona through knowledge seeking.

To seek the company and voice of those that speak with conviction, for they can due to experience and formal training or education. Those that are masters in their own right in the field they occupy. Their knowledge share is based on more than that theory of what common logic dictates.
And then those whose life is proof of who and what they are...consistent in what they say and how they behave...socially,professionally and at home....yet, still take on advise and constructive criticism, ever evolving, ever learning.

These are the jewels in society that add value to those seeking guidance and assistance.

To seek them, recognise them, for time does bring them to the forefront...over and over they pop up in the most unexpected places...their reputation preceding them...those are the people i personally wish to hear from and hope their wisdom rubs off and makes me part of their prestigious club.

RB.

Good people...?


How often we find that good people are so deep, deeep in disguise that we miss them. They come in all shapes, sizes and form....colour, creed or gender no specification, except, ever present in their integrity and honourable conduct.

And should their behaviour and comments be taken as one critical of others, this would only be because those on the receiving end, realise in themselves, their capability of being a better person, and thus feeling guilty of recognising oneself short of something better, which may be inherant in ones character.

I am of the opinion, if a good person goes undetected or is used as a punching bag then one needs to question the character of those that are unable to identify a person good. Those that thrive on being stupid , a bully...even worse,is a social site bully where their identity is hidden.
Cowards of the worst kind. and even worse are those weak of character that jump onto the bandwagon and target a subject or person, for no other reason but, simply to be vocal and abusive.

Social media should be an excellent platform for many reasons. From promoting and growing ones earning capacity, to gaining knowledge, to support, to creating new friendships in far away places....to use it in any way possible promoting the best in one and others.
Yet, as social media grows and new platforms get introduced , the abuse continues to grow at a rapid pace instead of it being slowed down by the potential good in its use.

Question, i ask, again and again....is the good in all of us, is a good person, is integrity and honour something to be embarrassed about, something to be shunned?
Does fame or fortune spoil us? does being derogatory make us more favourable in the eyes of the masses? Do wars and conflicts be the food of this new world? How can a Samaritan good, make any impact on the tumultuous shit we find ourselves in when kindness and good advise is shunned and laughed at.

I truly hope that this abusive society will not frighten the good Samaritans into hiding, that they no longer care to disclose themselves when a situation calls. For then, we are ...fucked.


RB.

GROW


My philosophy has always been to tread carefully and lightly. With time to cast that fishing line and see what one may reel in. The will to see and look and hear and listen. The will to absorb, take note and remember.

The desire to grow, adapt and learn. Wisdom never ours complete. For to be wise one is on a road ever learning. And those the profess they know enough and need not know more....well....what a sad existence.

Through many challenges, accolades and acknowledgements, spaces occupied or, rather pushed in involuntarily, many times a God sent, an awakening, a jolting of ones senses, putting one back on track....and even stoking those embers in a flame burning brighter and stronger.

No space is too small and insignificant, no person less worthy of consideration and acknowledgement, no laugh or tear should be easily forgotten...experience, the wealth to future growth and prosperity and contentment of self.
Growth...it is happening quicker than my mind or physical form can keep up with or understand.
The Universe is mine as is anything i wish!
So i see it and nobody can take it away from me.

Someone told me long long time ago and i just happened to read it on a young mans post on a social site....

"...Growth is painful, change is painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere where you don't belong."

Take courage and free yourself of disbelief and those that say you are no better than that which they define themselves by....you are an individual...and have great potential to be as big as your dreams.

GROW!!

RB.

On 2021-11-04 06:53:21 Russian Bridgitte said:
GROW


My philosophy has always been to tread carefully and lightly. With time to cast that fishing line and see what one may reel in. The will to see and look and hear and listen. The will to absorb, take note and remember.

The desire to grow, adapt and learn...

[Read the full message... ]

This is beautiful, I always have a saying that if you are not living on the edge, you are just taking up space. You have one life, live it, make it the best that you can have

Dear AE

Thank u for always being kind with your words and enjoying my writes.
Always enjoy your feedback.
x

A process of healing


I sat and listened to the heated conversation at the table next to me.
It was not with immediate effect, that i had taken upon myself to have a look at what the couple looked like, and thus, just listened.
No guilt at hearing them, for, if they had cared enough, they would have shared their grievances in a less public place.
What was hurled between the two, is what made me take an interest to look at the owners and in return, recipients of the barrage of verbal diarrhoea that spewed.
It was a shock.
One would have imagined distorted angry faces, maybe witness of some sort of abuse of hard living...financial challenges obvious...hard living can make one bitter and when the economy leads to sleepless worrisome nights then 'love and understanding and patience' knows to fly out the window, a dabbling in an interest in things that may give instant gratification and mask the hardships, a relief and escape...just for a little while.
That was not the case.
She, a striking woman, very easy on the eye, not in the conventional sense...very woman. He, a worthy match to her stature, the stars had aligned successfully when the two of them had met.
A superficial observation, a presentation before the eye.
And were it not for the eavesdropping of my curious ears , i would have day dreamt about the possibility of a successful union of two people that were meant to be together.

In all the time they were arguing, both of them tried their very best to project the demeanour of a couple at rest with each other... a convincing act except for those that were within hearing of the growl and anger and disgust and disappointment in both their voices....the living of a lie.
It was obvious that the two had, at one point in time , been more than simply okay with each other.
Somewhere along the line, the greed of expectation and the egocentric belief that one is more important in ones desires and needs, overtook any remnants of what it was that had brought the two together.
of course, one can and should expect, dynamic positive change and growth in a successful relationship.
But, where do the boundaries of the reality of things lie?

As an outsider, listening in, and basing my thoughts on a 'snapshot' of a relationship presented to me, i had a feeling of deja vu that i had seen this before...in most couples, irrespective of stature and standing in life. The bicker may be about a matter different but, the principle of the argument was the same.
An unhappy unfulfilled state of affairs, the belief that, one is either being taken foregranted, feeling lost and abused or, that nothing is good enough...ever.
My thought and puzzlement rested on the question...is that the natural progression of relationships, a state of dissatisfaction where one or both parties feel a state of loss and limbo?
The yearning and hankering for a personal awakening.
Is it not the natural passage of life and getting older? A state of tiredness of 'living' that eventually is acknowledged and the realisation that it be time to let go again, and revert back to what one thinks one can be?

Whatever it may be, most couples are privy to some dissatisfaction in a long term relationship. Maybe that is part and parcel of life being dynamic and ever evolving and ever changing.
But, when respect for another, that feeling of care, a loyal sincerity and desire to work at matters challenging between two people is lost, to be replaced with a vicious need to hurt and purposefully disappoint ones partner is prevalent, then best one says ones good byes very quickly and walks away. ....no matter the pain, no matter the challenge of the unknown....and in the case of the couple at the table next to me...i do hope they walked away from each other and gave each other a chance of healing and reconnecting with what really made them happy...the finding and understanding of self....because...sometimes...it is exactly that... the need to reconnect with ones self.

Nothing more.

RB.

Truth is a 'motherfucker'


Truth is a "motherfucker" and when she whips, it hurts .
Sometime the harsh reminder of reality is required to jolt some from a hazy slumber.

If were we all born the same, given the same chances in life, the same level of Happiness and Health and Wealth, no differentiation of any sort....i wander.....would we be called human?
Many are born and dealt a raw deal in VARIOUS ways....could that be what makes us human?
The worst raw deal dealt?
Being terminally ill and a loved one cannot change that, no matter what?
Being a child and raped and beaten?
The murder of an innocent individual?

If we could choose to better our lives and take example from those who care to help or share.....would we?
Wait.....strange.
We could.

Why don't we....because when we fail and don't have the diligence, willpower and faith in ourself, it is much easier to lay the blame on whatever the "flavour of the month may be".
Instant gratification without any hard work.....definition......a brat with major temper tantrum deficiencies.
I still stand firm....we are what we choose to be and how we see ourselves.

Our skin colour a problem?
Black?
Coloured?
Indian?
Otherwise?
White?
........oh and before any small minded idiot starts questioning the order i mentioned the races.....it is alphabetical.

Then.

We might as well bring in religion, gender and sooooooo much more into the equation.

Solutions.
Solutions.
Solutions.

A progressive society is a dynamic society...
The birth of new problems.
The birth of new solutions.
Live and let live.
Love.
And be loved in return.

Stay bitter and wallow .....the Sun will still rise.... The World will continue turning....and the life u were graced with, the beauty of it, will pass u by.

RB.