Rastafarian walks into a bank and hands cashier a bag full of Weed.
The angry cashier asks:
"Sir,what the fuck is this?"

Rastafarian replies:
"Wa yah ask foolish question mon,Mi cum to open a Joint account"

[BEFORE MARRIAGE]

BOY: I have been waiting for this day.

GIRL: Do you want me to leave?

BOY: NO!!

GIRL: Do you love me?

BOY: Of course!

GIRL:: Will you ever cheat on me?

BOY: Never in my life.

GIRL: Will you ever kiss me?

BOY: Every chance I get.

GIRL: Will you ever beat me?

BOY: Are you crazy??

GIRL: Can I trust you?

BOY: Yes.

GIRL: Sweetheart,

[AFTER MARRIAGE]
(now,read from bottom to top

An indian couple both aged 37 went 2 a sex therapist's office. The DR asked, what cn I do 4 u? The man said "will u watch us hav sex? The Dr looked puzzled but agreed. Wen de couple finished having intercourse the Dr said"there's nothing wrong with de way u hav intercourse and charged them R250. This happened several weeks in a row, the couple cud make an appointment and hv intercourse with no problems,pay the Dr and leave. FINALLY the Dr asked"Just exactly what r u trying 2 find out?". The man said"we r nt trying 2 find out anything. She's married and we cnt go 2 her house.I'm married so we can't go 2 my house. At the guest house they charge R650, the hotel charges R800. We do it here for R250 and I claim it back frm Medical Aid. (Excellent if I may add)

Boy drops girl at home,on their frst date. He put his hand on the wall by the gate and says "Can you give me a blow job?"
Girl : "No not on our first date"
Boy : "please"
Girl : "babes nooooo"
This continues for 10 mins. Then the girl's brother appeared at the gate and said "Dad says whether you give him a blow job or not its your decision but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone in the house is listening to both of you"

On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!

A new drug has been developed for Lesbians with depression, its called - Trycoxagain

A young couple, on the brink of divorce, visits a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife, "What?s the problem?" She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?" The husband replies, "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother?he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

Bill and Marla decided the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making love." Mom and Dad bolted upright in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," his son replied

Tsunami Warning Cancelled!

Apparently Chuck Norris Caught The Water In A Bucket...