On 2016-09-26 06:44:49 Russian Bridgitte said:

What i have experienced, and witnessed, is the sad belief and practise that drugs and alcohol go hand in hand with Service Providers.
My question is why.

Unfortunately this belief is not based on speculation but on fact. Proportion wise a very great percentage of ladies and men in this industry are indeed addicted to drugs or alcohol, as opposed to the proportion of your general population in any given career.

On 2016-09-26 06:44:49 Russian Bridgitte said:
What is it that leads to the stigma and belief attached to this space, that it promotes drug and alcohol use and abuse

Very few ladies and men in this industry are strong enough mentally and emotionally to cope with being in this industry. In fact the strong ones are in the minority. So the vast majority turn to alcohol and drugs to numb their feelings and to do their jobs. Unlike any other industry, this is an industry where you have to share your body and emotions with a complete stranger, repeatedly day in an day out. This causes emotional conflict in a person, with emotions ranging from shame, fear and more. By and large, this is caused by our conditioning in terms of societal norms and religious upbringing. So, by virtue of the fact that this space challenges our moral conditioning to the extreme and drugs is thrown at a SP by peers, clients and more, this industry does indeed promote alcohol and drug addiction.

On 2016-09-26 06:44:49 Russian Bridgitte said:

Are Service Providers a soft target or are they just easy, pushovers allowing themselves to be lead into situations and tempted by the call of immediate fun, unaware of the long term repurcussions.

Any person who is not strong mentally or emotionally, including SP, becomes an easy target for drug dealers, drug pushing clients and drug pushing friends. Peer pressure also plays a big role, in situations where a lady works with other ladies. Many enter this business, thinking that its a quick and easy way to make money, to get out of whatever financial situation they may be in. However, they soon realize that it is not quite so easy, not quite the fun and games that they thought it would be. So another SP offers her some drugs or booze to help her cope with that "revolting or difficult client" OR a client brings along drugs, asking her to partake and she does not want to loose the booking, so she takes the drugs, thinking it won't do harm, it is only once, which of course is not the case. Cut a very long story short, soon she is addicted, can't work without numbing the senses and body. It becomes a vicious circle. She is doing this job for the money, but in order for her to earn that money, she has to work doubly hard, to be able to afford her daily dose of drugs, which enables her to do her job.

[QUOTE;562883;Russian Bridgitte]
It is about helping one person at a time, bringing awareness that there are other possibilities and choices to be made.[/QUOTE]

I too, shared your sentiment for many years, many years ago. I used to take SP in who were on drugs, helped them get clean, sat up with them and watched over them when they went through the dt's, babysat them, offered them moral and emotional support, afterwards helped them save money, etc. Numerous times..all to no avail! Only to find them back on drugs a few weeks or months down the line and soon afterwards many of them (some a few years afterward) died of overdoses and two of them committed suicide whilst they were high. Only 3 managed to get clean and stay clean to this day, by going to rehab once again, but this time around, they also left this industry permanently.

So in light of my personal experience with trying to get SP to turn their lives around and to get off drugs, I can categorically state, that only the addict can help themselves, when they are ready to so. For more than 20 years now, I refuse to place myself in such emotional turmoil again and will not help any addict, regardless if it is a SP or a family member.

Dear Sybil
I do not see myself as an individual able to put myself in a honorable position as u have, helping those in need, one on one.

I have been reminded and told, i do not know what this space is all about and have not been around long enough to know.
I acknowledge that but, in the same breath have not disclosed my background and why my passionate plea for an awareness of that which breaks the very thread and core of a person's existence.

I have always chosen and been part of the creation of structures and infra-structures leading to the empowerment, realisation and long term sustainability of those in need, no matter the space.

Life works in funny ways. Here i find myself, through no fault of another, very much the cause of my predicament....but....very much my own drive to succeed again! Even in a space considered taboo.
Why not?

What i am suggesting is not a one on one.....that, in my opinion, very infrequently works.....but, rather, through the support, input....an approach reliable, consistent, specialised structure i advocate for this space.

This space is like no other....needs much understanding and application, not for the emotional or faint hearted...and definitely not for the desperate.
And here, i need to say, i do not stand in judgement of anybody. But. Rather. Want to draw in and apply the interest shown, messages sent, knowledge readily on tap to address so much we all know but not sure how to approach or put into action.

Simple solutions and guidelines.....a go to place where, as a Service Provider one can turn to, without fear of being judged, but Rather directed helped.....a small step to feeling part of the "normalities" of society.
Addressing the problem from a different angle.
There is so much wisdom obvious on the esa forum....from the Punter as well as the Service Provider.

Yes. Maybe an unrealistic passion....but. I have succeeded at much many told me not possible......in worse situation where i was attacked for being white and in another instant a woman too outspoken and in another for being Russian Orthodox....So cannot believe this cant be done.

My heart strong. My shoulders broad....i cant do it on my own....and i wont even try.

Xxx
B.

@Russian Bridgitte, your goal is admirable, nothing wrong with wanting to help others. From reading between the lines of your post, I assume that you are talking about creating a safe house of sorts, where SP can go to for emotional and psychological support, drug addiction support and more...

In the past, safe houses like that have proven to be effective, but mostly in the short term wrt to the ratio of people who take lasting benefit from such services.

Having said that, even if the ratio of lasting benefit, is small, it will still make a difference to those few individuals. So if you are a humanitarian at heart and this is something you have a desire to do, I take my hat off to you and wish you all of the best with your project.

@Sibyl, you saved three lives. It might not sound like much to the un-informed, however this is a huge achievement. Having personally sponsored mostly women thru recovery I to have seen success and failure. The emotional strain I took over those 5 years of service also took its toll on me and believe you me I was extremely well prepared and educated. Notably these souls had nothing in common with this "industry", just mere mortal human beings.
That being said I too have distanced myself from being of service to others at that level for my own self preservation.
"But for the grace of God, there go I"

I am lucky enough to have never fallen foul to addictions. Well, maybe that's not correct because more recently I have wondered if I am a sex addict. I mean that in a very serious way, it is not intended to make light of this thread.

Back to the topic though. I here Sybil's point that drugs are seen to be common place in the industry. This may be true but I would dare to say that they are common place in our society as a whole. I fear every day that my children may get exposed.

There was an incident at school where a 15 year old boy was dealing in dagga. That scares the shit out of me.

More recently my step son admitted he was using crack cocaine. He is 30 years old. I was really angry when he told me. All the lies about how well he was doing at work and money he was saving.

I felt betrayed. I had to come to the realisation though that I was being selfish. I did not bother to ask him what lead him to the point that he became an addict. I ignored his plea for help. I was just plain ignorant.

Luckily I was in the position to send him to rehab and now he has been clean for a year. I just wish that I had seen the signs sooner.

So what am I saying? Anyone can be an addict. Never say it will never happen to you or your loved ones. Be vigilant.

Dear Sybil.

I blush....u have caught me out....a safe house. No. BLUSH.

i am more clinical than that. Rather an empowerment of ones self. An understanding of self, space occupied, benefits and pitfalls, realising of financial independence, being the successful entrepreneur, checks and balances......coupled with the freedom to express and disclose ones profession without be judged or frowned upon.
And part of that structure, support groups, a sharing fest...a crying and laughing fest....not a fest to bad mouth another or share confidential information...simply a place to vent and walk away knowing u aint mad or intellectually challenged. A sense of direction given...subjectively.

.....and all this in aid of working toward the decriminalisation of prostitution....an orderly,carefully considered and planned approach, giving proof to those who pass legislature as to why it is right to consider legalisation in this space....not affecting or changing any benefits enjoyed by the punter but, only putting the dots on the i's ans crossing off the t's.
I say, if u aint going to look after yourself now then why would u with the change of legislature.

A broad outline.

A safehouse....now that is truly humanitarian. Blessed be they.

Xxx
B.

On 2016-09-26 10:08:03 Steve1964 said:
@Sibyl, you saved three lives. It might not sound like much to the un-informed, however this is a huge achievement

I did not save them directly at all, they saved themselves after the fact, by going to rehab and leaving this industry. Hence my statement, only the addict can help himself/ herself.

On 2016-09-26 10:58:28 Sibyl said:
I did not save them directly at all, they saved themselves after the fact, by going to rehab and leaving this industry. Hence my statement, only the addict can help himself/ herself.

Thank you or clearly stating the point I tried to make

Miss B

from a sp's perspective that has been around there are some like myself that that will decline a booking if I can hear the guy is intoxicated thenot there are others that will merely just see them because it's money in their pocket and a girls got to do what a girls got to do.

I myself having had a dependency problem iny younger years in the industry did it to cope or to be on the same level as other's.

Many years later I was fortunate enough to kick the habbit and still be able to work the industry but a lot of inner work was needed in order for me to reach such a point in my life.

From my personal experience and those that I have seen over the years.

These people need to learn to love themselves first and foremost before anything.

not sure if this is what you where looking for but I can tackle this subject from many different angles.

It is easy to judge something we cannot understand or no nothing about ( not saying you just in general) However once you have been there done that and burnt ye Tshirt can you have umderstanding, compassion and empathy.

XXX
Miss A :)

On 2016-09-26 06:59:44 Bbw Nadia said:
Muj, so 'n bek moet jem kry. And those very ladies have dozens of supporters who will jump to defend their honour should someone mention drug use.

LMAO! Jirre Nadia, I for one love reading your insights and stories of your experiences in this industry! :-)