It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked.

She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"

Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"

"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

If I am lip-reading correctly, my neighbours are arguing about a creepy guy next door

Teacher and her 3 boy students:

Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy 1: "I saw a strap of your bra."

Teacher: "You are punished to stay out of school for one week."
Boy 2 laughed...

Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy 2: "I saw both your bra straps."

Teacher: "You are punished to stay out of school for one month."

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class...

Teacher: "Why are you leaving?"
Boy 3: "I think my school days are over."

My neighbour just walked by with two dogs.

I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs."

He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sister's."

I said, "Wow, your sisters are ugly!"

Blonde in a car crash.
Blonde says to the paramedic, "I think I have concussion."

Paramedic asks the blonde, "How many fingers have I got up?"

Blonde screams, "Oh my God, "I'm paralyzed from the waist down."

Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters.

Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals.

Wanna take the joke a little far?

Here-one of the thieves drops the Viagra in the river while running from the police.

Now the folks down the river are having real trouble with hard water

Take the joke further.....

The farmers are happy, because cucumber crop is excellent

Wanna take it a little further....

They say cucumbers are really good for the memory .

Someone stuck one up my friends ass 30 years ago, and he still remembers....hahahahhahahaha!!!!

My family was shocked recently when we found out my grandpa is addicted to viagra...

Nobody is taking it harder than my grandma....

On 2023-05-15 14:53:28 Russian Bridgitte said:
Wanna take it a little further....

They say cucumbers are really good for the memory .

Someone stuck one up my friends ass 30 years ago, and he still remembers....hahahahhahahaha!!!!

Hahaha...u googled this one