"....As Jack began to climb the stairs, Fiona looked up at her new home. Five stories of stately mansion
rose above her head. Heavy molding around the large windows and doors bespoke a quality and
craftsmanship that was obvious even in the dim night. "Good God! It's massive!"
Jack paused with his foot on the last step. "I do wish you'd keep those comments until we are in bed,
love. I would appreciate them all the more there...."

Karen Hawkins, How to Abduct a Highland Lord


Grin!

RB

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry."

The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"

One of the other businessmen replies:

"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

On 2023-09-06 11:59:01 uwillwantme said:
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

One of the Bulgarian men says, "Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry."

The waitress makes a stroking motion and says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"

One of the other businessmen replies:

"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

Lol...

Teacher: "Johnny, write a sentence ending with the word hand."

Johnny: "My penis in your hand."

Teacher: "What?"

Johnny: "Sorry ma'am, I forgot to put a space between pen is."

THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES :

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were walking on the beach, when they saw a magic lamp.
They started to rub it and a genie came out. 'U may each hav one wish.' He said.

After thinking for a while, the redhead said, "Altho I'll be dumber, I want to be blonde; they have more fun." And so she turned blonde.


The brunette agreed and also turned blonde.

The blonde looked at her 2 friends and said, "I also want to be a blonder -- I'll have even more fun!!!" And guess what happened? She turned into a blonde man.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating.

One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

A 100 year old lady recently celebrated her birthday by skydiving.

Generally, most people turning 100 usually go the other direction in the sky

:)

On 2023-11-01 15:02:46 uwillwantme said:
A 100 year old lady recently celebrated her birthday by skydiving.

Generally, most people turning 100 usually go the other direction in the sky

:)

That lady has gone that way not longer after the jump.

May her sole rest in peace

Ladies who watched the final. Now you know how long 2 minutes can be!
You owe us an apology!

I will pay for jokes I'm finishing a movie script in a strip club and need a funny story --- desperate for jokes, will pay lol . seriously dm me pleassssse.