Did you know that wife is an acronym. It stands for:

Washing
Ironing
Fucking
Etc.

Student asks a history professor who was giving a lecture on the definition and history of genocide: 'What is your favorite genocide?'

Professor, perplexed by the nature of the question, then smiles and answers: 'My favorite would most definitely be when I masturbate'

"....My wife and I have decided we don't want kids.
If you're interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off."


Hahahahahaha...poor parents!

Dance like no one is watching.....But when you do dance like that, make sure no one is actually watching :)

"...

Marriage Counselor: So, what brings you here today?

Wife: He takes everything literally. I can't stand it.

Husband: My truck."



Hahahahhahahhahaha!!!!...women and men and what is said and what is heard.

Husband and wife went to see marriage counsellor.
Counsellor: So let's start off on a positive note. What do you both like/dislike?
Husband: Neither of us like sucking dick.

News Flash.
As a result of the poor economy, the cost of eating out has dramatically increased
The sexual position formally known as 69 will now be know as 96

On 2023-05-24 15:56:25 [deleted] said:
] My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house?

I looked her dead in the eyes and said: 'Those motherfucking decepticons!'

She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed, I shot the toaster.

It was a good time.

lol

....A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

"Thank you honey," she says, "Is there anything I can bring back for you?"

He laughs, and says, "An Italian girl!"

When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, "How was the trip?"

"Very good," she replies.

"And what happened to my present?"


"Which present?" she asks.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!"

"Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl"......



Hahahhahahahaha!!!....no need to call it cheating.

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?