Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking.

What is the different between sin and shame?

Its a sin to put it in and a shame to pull it out! :P

A travelling salesman was about to check in at a hotel when he noticed a very charming bit of femininity giving him the eye. In a causal manner he walked over and spoke to her as though he had known her all his life. Both walked back to the desk and registered as Mr. and Mrs.
After a three-day stay he walked up to the desk and informed the clerk that he was checking out. The clerk presented him with his bill for $1600.
"There is a mistake here," he protested. "I have been here only three days."
"Yes," replied the clerk, "But your wife has been here a month."

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.

Politically incorrect joke ...

A nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim, wearing a

turban, who was eating some fresh shrimp.

Everytime he ate one he spat the tail at her and she had to throw it out the

window.

Eventually she got pissed off and pulled the Emergency Cord.

The turban wearing Muslim looked at her and said, "You'll get fined

$250 for doing that you stupid Catholic slut."


She laughed back and said, "When I cry out rape and they smell your fingers,

you'll get 10 years, you towel headed camel-fucker."

The Creation of a Pussy!!!

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt

Brilliant!

Pooh, pooh , Mr. townrat !
- that can hardly be classified as politically incorrect.

Butter Face (Obscure Sexual Term)

When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit
in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
... After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking sound of the stick of the blind man and says to him. "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving
me crazy!!"
The blind man replies: "If you had put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus.